Am I just another fable to tell?
Am I to become a knick knack to put on the shelf?
I look for ways to tell you “I could learn to love you”
But I’m not that into love
Okay, excuse me
I’ve got a problem
I refuse to be used
I refuse to be used
I am the one who usually manipulates
I am the one who usually lures one in
I am the trickster
What has happened to me?
Where has my black hole of a heart gone?
What the **** has happened?
To be honest, I think I would actually be depressed if you dismissed me and my feelings
This is foreign to me
I don’t know what’s going on
I don’t want to become the fool
But I suppose that’s karma
I suppose after all this time of making men and women fall for me without an intention of catching them has caught up to me
I guess being a heartless *****
And the ***** has finally
Caught up to me
And the ****** up thing is when I am genuine, AKA now
It seems to always backfire on me for sharing how I feel
That’s how I got into a mess with my last relationship
I loved him more than he ever cared for me
I had a heart then
But after a while of things going to ****, you just stop loving and stop giving a ****
But here I am still naïve and gullible to these stupid sweet words
And here I ******* stand in the same position
Knowing there is someone that has a piece of his heart
Not too long ago either
I just don’t want this all to be fake
I couldn’t take a sick joke
Not again
I have to protect myself
But how does one do that when you just want to live in the moment
When you want to feel warm and giddy
How do you **** someone you want to make love to?
How do you stay away from someone so electric?
I’m in a horrible situation of disgust and distrust
I guess I don’t do as well alone as I ******* thought
But the good news is that I ran far, far away from my ex
I just wish he would ******* do the same
I want to be his
I want her to disappear
And maybe I am overreacting and freaking out too much
I mean, just last night, he reassured me
He called me “baby”
He told me I was what he wanted
He told me it would never work with him and her
I guess I should calm down
I guess I should stop thinking so ******* much
Being sober is great, isn’t it?
You get to feel all these ******* feelings you wish would shut the **** up
It’s like a constant war between heart and logical business
You know this is wrong
But you ignore the corrections
And then you have a conscience suddenly
When you used to not give a ******* **** about what you truly thought
SOBRIETY
Sobriety allows you to listen to your inner self and it is repulsive
**** pretty I’m gorgeous