Close your eyes and jump.
Flying and falling are twins
when ground is absent.

One time when I was seven I called the police because I was home alone for too long. A boy was standing over your bed, I panicked and froze. When we dropped him in he sank to the bottom and clawed against the water for air. I sat alone in the apartment rubbing crayons against crayons. You were asleep and he reached out to touch you and I yelled. I caught my first pet on a fishing trip with my dad. I think this was the first time I ever noticed how silence can attack you. When you woke up he was gone and I was crying. I hooked a wriggling earthworm and cast out the line. The woman who answered the phone said, 911: What is your emergency? When I was five my mom saw a ghost in my room. When I pulled the line out of the water a small turtle had the end of my worm. My parents came home as I hung up the phone. She said, I was just coming in to check on you and there it was. I took him home and put him in  a plastic Tupperware container full of water.

I realize how lonely I am.
And alcohol and ****** pleasures become my best friend.
I wonder when all of it will end.
I wonder will I see the sun (son) again.
Cuz everything is so dark and disgusting.
It keeps me wondering.
I wonder.
Will I live a full life.
Or throw my life away tonight.
I don't what I'll do tonight.
Cruising around the city will do right.
I wonder how this affects my relationships.
Torment in my head.
I wonder.
If I will ever get out in time.
I keep lookin behind.
I wonder if I'm too distracted.
Am I too cocky?
Life.
I wonder am I living right.
It's hard to believe in it.
God I need u.
This music will help.
Details, more details.
I wonder how long I'll continue to wear this disguise.