Ever since I was little, I was a perfectionist.
It never took much to get an A.
My parents took pride in my grades.
And I never wanted to let them down.
Sounds great, right?
But I have nothing to get excited over
When I get an exceptional score
Because it wasn't a struggle
In the first place.
And when something does go wrong,
In school or in my life,
It feels like I'm drowning.

~
Young clothes to age
dissolve & drift beyond the quiet grave
I may not know I may not know
The door with no unlocking key.

Yet still Reality persists
A stream that ebbs & flows
Where Time & Truth collide
& I a wisp upon its shore.

~~

Fulfillment - subconscious commitment
In what is a true - and inner peace -
For acceptance - for embroidery of oneself
In dark, almost frigidless - capability
And salvation - is no where to be found
Spit out the tongue - you almost ate it
Spit out the blood and bits - you chewed
Among the celestial thoughts of being
A timid and behaviourical brightness
In false full of 'less'-es and 'non'-s and 'in'-s
Words - neglect to be said - their weight
Is gone - with a passion - to thrive
But a lesser - is chosen - though - not you
Being the chosen one - but the vivid
Fragile and agonizing - white man's
Deals - quotes and problems - all from his head
Born from air and as chaotic

Solemnity does not speak for you
You - speak for solemnity
And if axe is - upon your head
Do you think it is late to make bet on a coin
Wishing it to fall and stuck on a rib
Wherever you make - an eager-one
To eat all of the soil - he pleaded - he raised -
He walked upon to - the soil which was the
Naturous home of his thoughts - his mind -
His believes and beginnings - nevermind
Let it drink - as like as it's been a decade
Without a bit of a rain due to greedy -
Clouds - who did not want to share themselves
That is why now the blood is sinking
'Cause the soil is drinking in a stimulus need
Not for man - for it's own sake and self
To keep breathing - getting last breaths from
Those - who fall bleeding

Pushing the ground away - with iron cutoff
The sough interlight of toller - outgoes
From islands - floating - in the choir
Collisions - of world state waves
Counteract - of contradictions
Forgot to remember - throughout from the depths
Eroded - fractures - cuirass of theirs - is moss
And shrouded - with sprouting - cold wrists
Dew trails - hands flooded -
To wash the soot of the blood from one's face -
Up to phalangeals - lacerated - spring of pyrexia
Mindbreak - helplessly curdled
Seeing - far-heading stabs to inhale
Trouncing to raise - the head up -
In the fratricide craving
Hum - and of body parts - ocean
Blind sea-gulls - skrike - and anthracites'
****** - is in embrace interlocked
Drogues - are not eaten to bone - and no brink-
Of - he-li-o-cen-tri-cly driven -
Mound - and weak swellings -
Nauseating headrush
Endowing to - entrails - of cascade
Dissonance - limbs - apart

No matter how you view it-
It's all lookings, each perspective.
You grow & you grow & you grow,
But you refuse to germinate.
Don't you know?
You must release your seedlings
If you hope for a root
To be planted.
Can't have too fragile of a barrier,
But neither too hard the shell.
Spread your wings
And do your thing,
Flaunt your laurels.

Some things get past death,
But not what's right
And yet neither what's left.

It's like a portal as obelisk,
It's like an orb of light that's electric.

No matter how you view it-
It's all lookings, each perspective.

It's a thin bridge,
A causeway that's been setup for you
If you just find your way
And choose to walk it.

If you're not careful,
And you're not a wanderer nor sailor,
You'll slip and fall into the marsh.
And that's like a nefarious ocean.

If next time around
You want to remember;
Walk the steep mountain passes,
Down through the valleys,
Past the swamps & wetlands,
Through the deserts & oasis,
In the towering forests & clearings,
The fields of caverns & caves.

You just have to figure it out
Before you die.

Have you been learning?