One moment, you're on the top of your own little world
You can see the people that you love,
They are like ants under your feet
But as you're soaring to the sun,
The wings beneath you seem to melt
Wave after wave of burning wax
Cover you until you drown.
And just like that, I find myself underwater
Unable to breach for air
I find my will to care
Slip away
I just want to sleep all day
I don't want to think
Don't want to stop and create
I want to sleep all day
Everything I took for granted
Seems to fall to pieces
The higher I try to climb.
Friends I love are floating away,
Pulled in four directions-
But none of them are going my way.
It's hard to trust myself these days,
How could I lay my foundation on ground when I don't
know if that ground will be right here tomorrow?
I open my laptop I sigh,
I open my bank account, I cry
I open my eyes in the morning and wonder:
Wouldn't it be better to let it all go?
Wouldn't it be better not to know the things that I
Won't ever know?
Don't want to try, cause if I don't try I won't fail,
Won't feel pain if I don't care.
I don't want to care.
I don't want to wake up and check to see if you'll be there
When I don't even know if I'll be there.
I haven't written in a while, and I wanted to get back into writing, but I didn't know what to write about...and then I checked my bank account, lol. I'm in a tight spot right now and I'm not sure how to fix it tbh. And the boy I love has mysteriously vanished? So...? I struggle a lot with mental illness, so maybe getting back into writing will help me channel that. Please send prayers/good vibes my way (which ever way works for you). I'm in that spot where there are so many good things in my life, but it's hard not to feel weighed down, you know? Anyway, thanks for reading. More to come soon (some happier stuff too, for sure). <3
