Am I even here? I walk throughout and feel so empty. I try so hard to do what is right and even my best attempts are failures. Life never let me down gently. My closest friends betray me and my efforts rarely see any reward.

I am assured that it is not what I do that assures that you love me. I have a standard inside that I cannot even reach. I wake up everyday and try again. Every day I sincerly try. I swear I see the other side but I never get any closer to it.

I am so desperate inside to please you. I am so desperate inside that someone see's me. I have faith and a hope that one day I will see what it is that you see in me. That I find this value or worth that led you to die for me.

You say that you walk beside me and that you have prepared a place for me. I am so eager to be there where I feel welcome and I can forget this suffering. I need you here please dont leave me. I cannot overcome the storm you sent unless you walk with me.

I dont mean to be dramatic or complain or come across as ungrateful for all the blessings you have given me. I just want to be with you in the place with no tears. I want to live and I want to be better than I have ever been before. I want to fish with you on crystal shores. Belong to something greater than me.

-RSC