He was a boy who I knew was special but I couldn't exactly pinpoint why at first
After talking to him I noticed I had started to gather pieces of him in the cracks of my skin and under my nails that I desperately tried to scrub off
I could not and would not allow myself to get attached and let him inside of me
But then it got worse because he spread to my head and in my heart in such large quantities I couldn't filter him out if I tried
And most of me no longer wanted to
Quickly he flooded my entire body and being
And the worst and best possible thing happened; it was love
Something I couldn't verbally admit but I felt it down to my core
He was so ******* handsome in the simplest ways
I fell in love with the corners of his mouth and how they'd lifted when he smiled and the dimples that were exposed
Or his eyes that could never lie to you because they always held so much raw emotion
It wasn't even his looks but his heart and his mind
I loved all the things about him he despised
I fell in love with the way he spoke up when he heard someone talking about something he was passionate about
and I fell in love with when he didn't speak at all and he'd look up from this trance he was in and he looked so lost and alone
When I looked in his eyes the world blurred out and grew quiet like it was only him and I
It may have lasted a few seconds but it was hours in my head
But it was even more special when I looked into his eyes the darkness in my body seeped out of my pours and the demons within me kept quiet
And maybe no being can cure what is inside someones head
etched into their bones
and sewn into their spirit
no being can battle others demons
but if you can make the noise in your head that been there for so long you can't count the years on one hand disintegrate
vanish into thin air
then my god, that it love
I'll be honest I'm terrified
Terrified to love someone as much as I love you
Because it's the big things, the little things, the things that are here and the unknown
It is everything about you that I love and it's hard to keep ignoring
I cannot imagine how awful it would feel to have my heart broken by you
Or to be the one to break yours
We are both fragile being one drop away from smashing
But I will keep you safe if you do the same for me
I'll hold onto you with two hands for safety
and if I ever slip I will gather your every piece and glue you together
And maybe it won't last but we could at least try
Love is not an easy thing
Even now I sit rambling over you, spilling these jumbled thoughts and using words that will never be arranged well enough to show how much I love and care for you
But I do it because I am filled with so much love I can't help but spill it out through my fingers out of fear it may fall out of my mouth when I'm not paying attention
This piece started off with a "he" but now if ending with a "you"
Because you are no random being, you are my everything and nothing
and all that lies between
When I look at you now, It's hard to see how you aren't special  
And I hope you look at me and feel the same.