i’m so terrified
of the dawn that creeps up behind this cabin in the woods
i’m so scared of the violent rush of seawater
pinning me to the sandy shore—slamming my body, so rough that my esophagus stops for a second
when there are people in front of me,
i push them away
so violently, so quickly
immediately losing sight of everything in front of me
and i’m so sorry.
what should i do?
watch as the things i wish for fly away into the dark atmosphere?
watch as the flame i ignited dim in front of my very eyes?
i’m decision-less
so perpetually confused
what should i do?
should i love you?
so, i went to homecoming last night and i had so much fun. we snuck out of the school and we sprinted towards our cars. i’ve never felt more alive. and i went with someone and now i don’t know how i should feel. i always wanted love to knock at my door, but now i’m just frightened. ahh.
“i get overwhelmed and confused if only you knew what i felt like.” -Laufey
10/8/23
