I was seven,
The last time i thought about suicide,
I was severely bullied,
my dad left,
my mum worked
and i had no friends apart from a singular cat
that also died
My family grieved when i was born
And all i wanted was love
People mistook it for attention seeking
But i was attention needing

I planned ways to die,
Self harmed,
And from ages 6 and 7 cried continuously

Im now 15 and in year 11
And i feel like that same kid

I have a girlfriend now
Im queer
And neurodivergent
Yet somehow i still feel like that sad child wanting it to be over
Im 25 days till 8 years clean
And yet i still want to relapse

Have some scars so im valid
Cry because i can and because i have no better response

I want to die-