2am
listening to the song of the gnat
as I sit having a crap
book in hand
I always read here
since I had small children
the only place I got any peace

the song stops
I can feel the itch
tiny legs massaging skin
looking for a way in

more people killed than are alive today

quite a reputation for one so small
we always called them gnats
never mosquitos
the gnat sounded more diminutive
less of a threat
but as it turns out
they are connected through
their Latin name, Culicidae  

so I wonder about malaria
how it's coming back to our shores
as I finish the paperwork
and hear the song resume
disturbing it's evening meal

Ever seen a list like this?
Nothing in a name that's not in me.
Want proof?

According to you, I was so, so loose,
I would have come undone.
I'm floating now, aimless, as loose
as I ever was in youth.

Ever seen a list of names
so long, you thought, what's so bad they must
escape?

Hear me now, I'm amalgamation.
Reminder that you can change your mind
as much as you like and not have to hide
the rush of your wave from the water at large.

You're in charge.

And when the trolls come along, as they must,
just trust the pull of your lungs to take
a deep, deep breath all up inside.

And say,

"Yeah, it exists in others.
It must be all up in me, too.
Yeah, I **** them off, cause
it exists in me at all --
But I'm just as much
a piece of glass.
Does your reflection
off of me make you mad?
Not much I can say to that."

I'm Gnat.