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Dresden Feb 2023
religious trauma
indoctrination
poisonous pedagogy
spiritual manipulation
emotional exhaustion
submission
possession
religious duality
child abuse
psychological distress
isolation
grief
recovery
ambivalance
self-actualization
­self-soothing
safety
trust
autonomy
freedom
25 years of control. 1 year of freedom. So many more terms to learn.
TB Oct 2022
I was told the Refiner’s Fire
Would make me shine and glow.
I wish I had I known, that long ago,
The true Refiner left open the door.

I could have stepped outside,
And realized the sun is even warmer.
Into a new light, enters my soul,
And instantly I feel calmer.

Free from all the control and lies,
I was told as the fire was lit.
The choice that was always meant to be mine,
Was stripped away bit by bit.

It’s Healing and Grace, I’m needing right now -
I can’t find in the walls of this church.
The fire holds no love for me now,
The sun is what I deserve.

I’m standing in sunlight, still fully loved,
Without fire licking my skin.
After decades in a constricted cell,
I’m breaking out from within.

The refiners fire was always manmade,
A way to foster control.
The sunlight instead, beckons me in,
Bringing me back to the fold.
God is bigger than your church
Last one for the night. I promise.
Good night friends.

— The End —