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MadameClaws Aug 29
before things get rash,
we should run.
but one of us is dead,
and one of us has no legs.

so,
maybe i went overboard.
maybe i already got rash.
maybe i messed it all up,
but we can still fix this.

i wait for you to chide me like you always do,
but all you do is bleed out.
i wait for you to get back up like you always do,
but all you do is lie there.
i wait for you to fix everything like you always do,
but you’re not chiding me,
and you’re not getting up,
and you’re not fixing
everything.

you can’t really expect to get out of this just like that, can you?

you can’t get away,
i’ve made certain of that.
i made sure you would stay here right next to me,
just like always, but baby,
it doesn’t feel like always.

before the sirens of an ambulance come cat-calling your body,
before they steal you from me, promise:
“to love and to cherish, until parted
by death.”
i can’t hear you, dear, that thief’s sonorous chorus resounds;
you’ll have to speak up.
because we can still run, we can still get away from this town,
we can still steal your father’s beat-up pick-up truck and run away,
just like the songs.

honey, don’t you get it?
we’ll always be together,
“‘til death do us part,”
you swore it yourself.

well, i’m not dead yet,
but the paramedics lift you into the back of that **** ambulance,
while i’m loaded into the back of a cop car.

we are still bound by our vows.
this was one of my first poems, lovingly inspired by richard siken's work. i've finally gotten around to giving it the love it deserves and polished it to perfection. i'm unable to give the poem the formatting it's meant to be read with, so you can view that here: madameclaws.carrd.co/#vows

thank you for reading this far ♡
Sandra Melton Apr 2019
I can't get enough of the thrill
The choke and the tears after
The miles and miles I run in my mind
How the stars look at night
They follow me and I need the release
I need the touch and go in my head
Cat and mouse I play with my sanity and will to live
One more thrill ride so I can crash
Give it until I ask no more
Let me feel the burn as it chases me
Feverous sickness in my mind
I love the thrill....the choke
The taste of the dead left in my mouth
Let go and you can see the past in the smoke
I see with more clarity then I wish I did
Higher than I ever was and I wish it would end me
So I love the choke and the thrill...maybe one day you will understand
Sandra Melton Apr 2019
Come to me
Let the sunset warm your face
And point out to me the wonder of the forest
Show me the secret of the woods
Tell me of your love and your pain
What makes such a heart bleed the way yours does?
I want to see you smile as you tilt your face to the sky
And when the light dies down I want to lay back on the ground and point out the stars and their wonders
Because you deserve to be given a place to escape
For the world is one place you seem to never touch and I wish you could take me with you
So come to me and let me show you the wonder of the world right in front of you
Sandra Melton Apr 2019
She sends me pictures of the sky admiring the prettiness of it but the only thing I see is her and how her face lights up when she talks about it
We share music throughout the day back and forth we play with messages like how elementary crushes passed notes to each other
She loves her animals and she always tells me to give plenty of love to them since they deserve it
So does she...
So I wait and hopelessly fall in love with her little by little because she is the skylight
The thing that brightens my mornings and makes me glow
Sandra Melton Mar 2019
ARH
Time to say goodbye to my summer romance
Like the light that dies for the winter snow
You filled my summer nights
And my head with such love you would have thought me dead before
Before I ever looked into such gorgeously intense hazel eyes
Brown for her pure love and green for her playful nature
Staying up late at night waiting for your text
Spending camp learning of each other in tender moments
Laughing never seemed so easy
It's so hard to laugh without the gut-wrenching memory of how you looked when you smiled and laughed with me
But I am content now
Content to see her beautiful face smile without me
Content to live without my first love
And I love her even more
Sandra Melton Mar 2019
Puff, puff, puff
Watching my death blow from my mouth
I feel it settling in
Making me feel like the world is in hyperfocus
Details find their way to the surface
I stare at the ceiling as it feels like the world is swaying
I wish I was staying
Falling and I can't find my grace
I let my fingers fumble with the next mistake
Each puff and I feel dead
To each their own aphrodisiac
Sandra Melton Mar 2019
Air
Words aren't needed when I see her face
It escapes from my throat
The words I wish I can express before we parted ways
A love so strong it hurts making you forget that the world is still moving when in her presence
It makes the phrase "if you love them let them go" seem like a harsh reality
I loved her so much it made me toxic
So few to admit the truth
That love need not be the whole story to your person
Sandra Melton Mar 2019
Goodbye, this time it is for good
Was loving you that hard?
I never meant to hurt you this way
The pieces of my heart are crunched into dust
I feel empty and lost
You say you are the problem
When you never were a problem
You are wonderful and sweet
The light in your eyes give me clarity
Making sure to ask about your day
Or saying goodnight and sweet dreams
Keeps me from falling into nothing
Trying hard not to cry
I gave you my all and would do so over and over a thousand times
You asked me why I loved you at all  and the words stuck in my throat
How could you ask that?
I have told you a million times why I do, I love you for the way you laugh
And I love you because your hugs keep me warm
I love you for your strong determination to keep on going
Most of all
I love you for loving me
I never felt a love like yours
Through all the tears and yelling and silence
You loved me like no other
You gave me a future so bright that I had no choice but to believe
In your dark hours after this, you might feel weak
But you are not even close to being weak
You stand tall and strong among your many battles
And stable?
You never had to be that way
I think you are amazing the way you are
…..Faults and all
Letting you go makes me bleed
Everything will be so cold like it was before
My heart will ache for so long I don't feel any more
Some will say “Why?”
And I will simply tell them it was because she loved me back
For that was all I asked for
Nothing was ever your fault I promise
Give yourself time to heal
If what it takes is letting you go
Then I will let go, but not without crying
Or without making sure you know I love you still
I hate being alone
But knowing you and getting to love for real
I would suffer years alone
And maybe I will see you again
For that's all I can wish for…..
Sandra Melton Mar 2019
You say you will fight for us
Dreams of a future is what we make
You say you will fight if it is the last thing you do
Can that be all you leave me with?
I will still fight
I am losing faith minute by minute
It cannot be true
Can you leave me after all we shared?
Please don't leave me is all I ask
Do you think of me?
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