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Kai Sep 18
I want to be the snake –
Writhing, burrowing
Choking up a pill, throwing up smoke;
It’s nightly,
Don’t fight me, tie me
To a bedpost and let me dry out,
And make me pray again,
If it makes me whole again.
So aim,
Aim for a leg and don’t miss.
And a ledge is just a ledge
Until you’ve spilled your heart out on it,
And dragged your knuckles across
‘til they’re raw.
I yearn to be antlers embedded in the dirt
Shoot me.
Ok hi
Kai Sep 16
I know –
I know,
I died for nothing,
I clawed at chains and ripped a bullet out of my skin,
I let it bleed
I watched God leave
I can’t help but to tear off the flesh,
I love the burning, I love the anguish
I need to feel it, feel alive
I can’t help but to split the bones in two
I love the temporary relief, the quick release
I want God
I toss and turn, oh how badly
I want God
Hi
Kai Aug 13
Lately I’ve been testing fate
Numbness ‘til it’s late

Lately I’ve grown so fond
Of heartbeats skipping like a song

When roots grow out of a withered spine,
Do they birth new life?

When cracks split and flow,
Where is blood supposed to go?

Life or death,
Whatever’s best

Pulled apart this flesh
And laid this spine to rest
Hi
Nyxa Thorne May 12
Life is pain.
That’s what they say.
Pain—
physical, emotional, mental—
it touches everyone.
So mine is not unique,
I would say.
Pain is life.
Life is pain.

But endless pain—
that is a different animal.
It never stops.
It slinks beside you,
sleeps in your bones,
a feral thing
slithering through your soul,
feeding on your light.

It steals.
Dreams.
Desires.
Hope.
You begin to speak
of the Time Before Pain
like a lost country—
a utopia
you once called home.

Now the present is war.
Every day a siege,
every hour
a whisper of resistance:
beat it
conquer it
survive it.

This pain lives off you.
It eats your basics,
hollows your core.
You stop wanting love.
You stop wanting wealth.
You want one thing only:
the cessation of pain.

And the future?
A fog, a flicker—
maybe there,
a life beyond this.
But now—
now, pain fills you,
poisoning your soul
against the fragile thread of hope.

It fills you
with anger,
with emptiness,
with a raw and aching need—
the need
for someone
to see you.

To see beyond
the red, raging storm,
past the mask,
into the trembling self
still curled
in the heart of it all—
and simply
see
you.
Kai Mar 4
The tearing of ligaments,
Like stems,
Fresh out of soil.
Heatwaves through a body
That has suffered only pain.

Through leisure I am compromised,
Like fruit I’m
Left to rot.
Muscles, tight and throbbing.
These wings are meant to be shed.
Hi :)
Lily Priest Mar 2024
I see the world horizontally,
Soft sheets all stuffy
With potential hardly realised.
My eyes, heavy and unhappy,
Are blinded by the muted sunshine
Mocking me through the blinds.
The hum of life,
Doing fine just outside the window,
I feel its energy,
Almost laugh at its impossibility.

Because I bear the world brutally,
Confined and coffin-ed
In an ache that leaves no stain.
Lady Macbeth,
My crime is wept on evidence of
unliving,
Those shrines of *******
Laid to rest around the head
Of this tomb effigy,
Chronically enshrined in invisible agony
While the world just carries on.
Long term sufferer of endometriosis. On top of the not being believed and waiting for forever for a diagnosis, there's those days of not being able to anything. It's hard not to feel like a failure in those moments, like you're guilty of the crime of not living, not being.
Kate May 2021
Him
you can't see him but he is always here

he spoke when I was home

he yelled at me when I was driving

he sang to me when I was asleep

he made me stay in bed day in and day out so he can hold me

I told him to leave but he held me so tight that I could not breathe
I have struggled with chronic pain for the past 6 years. My pain has torn my life apart and non of my treatment is working. Right now I am taking everything one day at a time. Some days I can live like a normal teenager with little pain, others I am stuck in bed from morning to night.
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