i wake you up in the middle of the night

to express my love for you

stroke your skin and feel you

naked, i can feel all of you

at the same moment

-

i wake you up in the night

feeling this is our last time together

therefore sensing all the moments

we've been together

being here at the same time

-

every single touch we ever touch each other

every single **** we had together

is in a wondrous time lapse

with us here here at this moment

the history of touches

every single archive

compressed into a second

all with us here as I wake you up

I wake up thinking of ways to entertain her and please her within the spectrum our existence. even through all the flaws and setbacks I have yet to accomplish or obtain any mastery of loving or living her what's so to speaking of her. I want to be her morning breath. I want to be that first cigarette a smoker who has smoke for 10 years has in the morning. That first pull. That first inhale that first exhale. I want to be that sudden change that urge to quit. Yet the same reason she can't turn away. somehow I still struggle with the mastery and the ability to obtain the way of loving her entire being
renee.

"How can you offer me love like that?

                  I'm exhausted

                                                                            Leave me alone."