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who wants a rewind
of tragedies and mischiefs?
i'd just get heartaches
munch that sweet fruitcake
up until your sweet teeth's sate
“do you want some slice?”
i did it lately—
to not sleep off my problems
got a light heart, mind
I was victim of my own mindset
that it must be kept
all problems by yourself
because darkness must stay within
not to devour another nescience's flare
But as the flowers wilt
and the leaves grew searer,
the shadows started to conquer my feelings
and strangle me with the labyrinthine words
which couldn't be suppressed any longer
And I was too late to reach
for someone else's help
I do not have any interactions of love with me but I do imagine how my life will likely to evolve to someone as much as my dad always praises mom's delicacies eventhough it was sometimes salty or sour, and my mom still blushes with dad's cliché lines (I think he read it somewhere) like a teenager wearing shiny pumps and glittering fitted cocktail dress and her lips coated with red lipstick.

I do imagine how our dates will be like. We'll flirt inside of a fastfood chain and there's a possibility while I'm sipping my soda, it will spill because of too much giggle in his jokes and comedies of his life. I may also include on how exaggerated his narration will be. Watching movies that do not suit our tastes because we just want to cuddle or maybe make out throughout the movie at the shadowy corners of the movie theater. We will secretly eat bagels inside of the library because we cannot afford to miss the time to review our tousled notes because examination is rushing behind our backs.

And I will likely to express these silly situations out of my mind through poetry because as much as I wanted to love someone, I'm too wrecked right now to devote myself.
nonexistent crimes
were shoved down into my throat
screams, pleas aren't heard
all those advices
seem to vanish through thin air
head's incapable
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