The shape that love makes is the space my arm conforms to after,
In their sleep, my lover rolls on top of it
It is the unbearable needle pinpricks as feeling leaves and as it comes back
And it is the leaden styrofoam weight it becomes during.
Love is the gentle nudge I give as a suggestion to an unconscious mind
To roll over please, please god roll over, Don’t wake up
I’m so sorry, but also, please, move, and
It is the quiet despair of resignation.
So instead of pushing away, sometimes I’ll move closer
Realize that this is honestly very funny
Hold them until the alarm rings
Or until one of us gets up to ***
In the morning my love wakes with a frown,
not out of unhappiness, but confusion
A reaction after jarring consciousness
The last dusting of golden love still lingers on their neck from two nights ago
Faded there from purple. We come together for a while,
peaceful, before deciding the sun is enough
And push each other away
Kick through blankets in an attempt to breach through into cool air
Break through the waterline of sleep and into wakefulness
Waves of an ocean all our own
My love does not like the ocean, doesn’t trust it
The sand is fine but it’s the water that scares them
The things which live underneath the waves and in the dark.
And they scare so easily, over movies and small noises
Over sickness and bills and the passing of time.
I never think about anything long enough to be scared
So I am always surprised when things happen
As if I am using my hands to create the corners to hide behind
I turn life into a series of unknown turns
Life to them must seem much like a beach
Completely open and skirting the edge of things we hope never to see