"our online lives"

I just stumbled on you in poem
and its quiet ache has stayed with me
all afternoon. The way it turns
a missing notification into something
almost sacred—pixels drifting
like fallen leaves, prayers planted
in comment rows—feels so true
to our online lives.

It’s like I’m looking for ways to avoid myself      

       (I’m looking for ways to not care)

It’s like I’m going around every corner trying to avoid my own stare  

It’s like I’m running away from a shadow

          (Yet I know it’s always there)

I’m afraid of every part of me I swear…

They want me to love myself???

                      “Say hi!”

  Look in the mask

         There’s blood
            
                     It’s stained.

Avoiding myself

(a lonely ride)

All of the ways I could

           -complain-

Look to my heart and you’ll see

     (inside it steadily bleeds)

Blood veil drags behind me
                       &
I don’t know how to scream