This is the story of a Foolish Fledgling
I feel the silent vibration of pain and remorse tracing my ribs to my navel and swooping to encompass the silence that lingers over my mouth
This emptiness that I am feeling was because you felt grief
Because at one point I remember you and I
Well, we were inseparable, we were one
How did we let this come so far?
Or rather how did I let the cage that held our two harmoniously beating hearts shatter and break, letting the birds of rage and anger and animosity and fear and anger and anger and anger, free?
But I wouldn't say they were free because the heavy locks that weigh down my heart now, show me that perhaps the birds are cascading down, so close to death
And that is why I am silent
Because we came this close to losing each other
This close to killing the love we once had for each other
The love I still have for you now
And for so long I was convinced that you no longer cared for me
I felt you no longer could see the greatness you had once seen in me
If I flew, you would always find error in how close I flew to the sun
Always chastising me and warning that the sun would burn me
Yet to me the sun is what felt good, what made me feel beautiful
For the sun, unlike you, illuminated my feathers and helped me see the strength in my wings
But as I fell, I fell far away from you.
Today you gave up and said you were ready to push me away
And only provide me with the seeds that would nourish my weak body
When all I yearned for was your embrace once again in the nest of your heart that I had called home.
As I fell, it was only until then, when you were no longer willing to catch me, that I realized that you had been there all this time *ready to catch me
Ready to embrace me into your nest but *I had pushed you away
I flew to the sun and you tried you tried you tried
To call your fledgling back into your arms
And foolishly I flew directly towards the sun who scorched my wings and only led me further away from you
And as I sit here close to the bottom of the pit
With wings broken
Heart recoiled from yours
I long once again for the nest that was your heart.
I long for me when I was easy and simple and only fed from the worms that you gave me
When I did not go out into the world to search for my own
Foolishly, oh so foolishly.
As I crawl back towards the cage
The cage that locked in our hearts together
Away from the world and its temptations, away from the scorching sun,
I pray that my minor pecks at your nest do not go unanswered
For I am sorry I am sorry I am sorry
For there is no love like the one I once knew before I broke this cage
I long to be nestled in your love.
I'm sorry Mom