How can I help someone who's sad? Anything's welcome, from stories to lists of links. I just want to be able to help.

-c.a.s.

(P.S. Sorry that this isn't really a poem. I'm not really up for trying at the moment)

And then we meshed our stars and diamonds
Standing in the acid rain
The universe swirling down the drain
And our hair was all in strings
Wet from the darkness and the cold and the ice forming
And I'm not crying, not crying, no
My face is just wet with tears.

The sun is not in love with the moon (she says), reaching for the edges of his hair as it trails down his skin as it trails with the wind as it trails off into the misted atmosphere. The sun, she says, is in love with the stars on your fingernails as they scrape against the bark of the flaking oak tree. She is in love with the way you move against the wind, like you are the inevitability of nature, or a mountain, or a rusted engine snorting out musty smoke. They stand quietly in the field, like the sound the air makes when the sun filters into the cracks between the dust particles in your room at 3:00 pm on a Sunday and the TV’s off but you can still hear the whine of the electronics in your ears.
And the stars move in circles until the hand twists open the bottle cap sky and all the things they’re made of liquefy and stretch out to fill the spaces between the galaxies, filtering in like the sunlight does. You watch them walk along the sidewalk, under the dim streetlights next to the cheap dead end restaurants, yells and murmurs punching out their doors. The air smells like ozone and cigarette fumes, and rain is slithering down the sidewalk into the slick gutter.

(I tried to write letters but the words got stuck)

Milady all in white,
with sparking eyes and shaky foundations
the world is too big for your icy hands
reaching out for her smile like you were fire
and she was rain, heaven sent
you see ashes where there’s mist
wings splintering from your bones
and I pray that you find freedom
without leaving me

My fairy who dreams of Neverland,
with leaves in tangled hair
eyes crinkled with smiling
you are so very powerful
I fear you would rather consume yourself
than let go of her at last
and from all the things you don’t tell me
I begin to hate the world a little more

My pixie with straight curls,
I was in love with you for the longest time
but I know both myself and you better now
and I will always stand beside you
your  beauty is in your imperfections
drawing the best sort of people in
you’ve saved me a thousand times
and I've missed you more than I can say

My quiet one with a smile of steel,
you are so kind without saying a world
he leans so much that I’m afraid you will fall
and still have to pick him up again
I only hope you know your worth
I only hope that you’ll let us catch you
you are a beautiful human being
and you mean the universe to me

Milady with a bow-tie,  
your mind is a brilliant, vibrant thing
as are your eyes and smile and laughter
you are a warrior and a scholar
a charmer, a singer, and a lover
you've made me feel loved and wanted
without hesitance of any kind
and it is the best gift I have ever been given
so thank you for slow dancing to an off-beat piano
I'll always love for you to lead

Milady of dragon's fire,
you are fiercer than your flames
and stronger than them as well
you are learning and beginning
and I can only watch in awe
I believe in every part of you
in your beauty and your strength
so thank you for not taking ****
and may the world quit giving **** to you

Milady of the angels,
you have the brightest soul I've ever seen
and a mithril backbone to match
thank you for helping me be myself again
for shining brightly and staying with me
you deserve all the best the world can give
for your beauty and grace and laughter
I would give my soul to see you smiling always

My lady of the wiccan elves,
you are the loveliest being that I know
both in body and in spirit
I'm sorry that I did not tell you so
I'm a bit of a coward that way
you are a thousand miles out of my league
but I will always marvel at your crooked grin
and the way your mind runs circles 'round all others

Milady the endless ponderer,
I am not half the friend I should be
your thoughts are beautiful, have always been
and it lights my heart to hear your confidence
I will always listen and try to understand
though I am not always as there as I should be
and for that I am truly sorry
I know that for the philosopher
it is the greatest punishment to be unheard
you deserve the best of listeners

My quiet greek goddess,
you somehow thought I was worth staying for
I would have kissed you given the chance
but we all know how I am about that sort of thing
you made me feel at home again
when I felt like I wasn't worth existing
thank you, for everything
I'm sorry I wasn't the right one

My legend in royal hues,
for some reason you picked me to love
(you can't imagine my bewilderment)
thank you, for all you've given me
for all you've let me show you
and for your smile that reminds me of home
I hope you find what you're looking for
without falling to ******* your way


Milady of the summer court,
all wide eyes and lovely braids
you made me feel wanted and infinitely happy
but I will never be enough for you
may your mind always wander into beauty
and may you someday learn the workings of souls
come back and tell me when you do
I will always love to hear your voice

Milady of love and loss,
I hope your list helps organize your mind
you deserve the best of happiness
but I fear you'll look towards the wrong eyes
I'm going to miss you dearly
but I know you'll find your own way
you don't need me much at all
but you make me smile when I'm beside you
so don't you ever lose that light
you'll find one to match it someday

Milady the beautiful and free,
you are fiercely kind and lovely
I look up to you more than I can say
in your strength and in your thoughts
thank you for your words
for your smile and your love
you brought me back from myself
and I will always be grateful
may everyone marvel at your existence
and at how far you've come
it is, after all
the very least of what you deserve

When it was time to leave (for you to go)
You found me in cross-hatched darkness
Stirring sugar in the smallest cup
Standing on pebbles of acrylic nothing

The syrup coated my cotton-pink fingers
Snakes of cold air clicking along my spine
Sweetness nestling into baklava layers
Elbows bare and cracking

How long did you watch my shoulders break?
Gelatin soft bones pulled by lack of gravity
Obsidian hammers pounding against my skull
Negative space swirling in the sugar bowl

I am only as small as I think you are
You are largest when I don't know you at all
I can almost feel the salt of the wind in my eyes
But you've told me I lie worst when I'm all alone.

You are misty in your blindness
Shackled to the light
The night is loud with echoed dust
Cloudy red consumes your veins
Shattered exhaustion creeps 'round your crown
Uncomfortable breaths empty silence's shelves

All hail the queen of the future
Lonely eyes grinding like stones
Dark arms curling 'round feathered calm
Murky explosions from crackling lips

We are only ever lonely when we are not cold.

When I become more
Glass will splinter out of my bones
Fractals of light pressing on the gears of my machine
Cold dew under the tips of my fingernails
Green flowers dotting freckles on my skin
I sometimes forget how I fit together
Ashes of silence sifting through my lungs
Fingers of darker nights drift
Lighting my skin with cloudy stars
Once upon a time, I was able to ask
When will I feel like more?