BETWEEN

Although love surrounds me
I miss that one
I know what it is
To feel alone

I crave a touch

A whisper
A brush

Something more
Yet I have so much

Why do I seek
When I need not
I can deny my heart
But my soul
I cannot.

ＯＮＥ:
i miss the
way your
body sinks
into my
mattress
marking your
beauty finitely

ＴＷＯ:
and I also
miss how
your tired
kisses came
with soft
promises of
forever

ＴＨＲＥＥ:
i wonder
about who
stains your
cheeks now
with red
praise and
scarlet i love yous

ＴＨＲＥＥ＆ａＨＡＬＦ:
she would
never love you
as much as
i do

ＦＯＵＲ:
and i miss
you so much
i fall asleep
to the monotone
of myself
counting the days
of how long it has
been since
your departure

ＦＩＶＥ:
and to pass
my time
i count the
times you
told me you
loved me
with absent
ghost eyes

ＳＩＸ:
i'm trying
to live with
the ribs you
broke and
the air
you left

ＳＩＸ＆ａＨＡＬＦ:
but how can
i go on
with the bones
you left me?

ＳＥＶＥＮ:
i'll keep trying
but it's hard
when my
memories
of you litter
my head like
the dust in
my attic

ＥＩＧＨＴ:
and how can i
go on when
you emptied me
and left me
wondering why?

ＮＩＮＥ:
i have
watched you
leave over
and over
and my zenith
sadness is
quite enough
to make
a collapsing
supernova feel
shame

ＴＥＮ:
and sometimes
I blame
love itself for
handing me
right into
your hands

ＥＬＥＶＥＮ:
but when
it's darkest
please know
that my
moon still
chases after you

ＥＬＥＶＥＮ＆ａＨＡＬＦ:
and that
i don't
hate love
for giving
you

ＭＩＤＮＩＧＨＴ:
i hate love
for residing
in my heart
infinitely when
it knew you
weren't staying
forever

cold,
metallic,
unforgiving,
uncaring,
faceless,
emotionless,
all-know­ing,
all-seeing,
all-saying,
always silent,
always calm,
never lost,
never going anywhere,
never wondering,
never doubting,
unbending,
undulating,
unrelenting
a mirror,
a wall,
a window,
a door,
a hole,
a plug,
a sword,
a shield,
a dagger,
blood,
heart,
brain,
eyes

iron is
and iron
does
and
iron is-

there,
always.

always…

there.

Don't take it personally, my love,
But I want him to break your heart.
I want you to feel pain.
I want you to feel what I felt when you said you missed him.
I want you to feel lost.
I want you to feel brokenhearted.
I want you to feel clueless.
Because all you gave me were mixed messages of love, desire, and admiration.
Now I won't lie to you or myself.
I still have this unconditional love for you.
It's foundation blossoms from the pit of my stomach.
But I hate you so much.
And it kills me to see you hurting
Because I know you hurt enough already
And I wish I could take away all that hurts you.
I'm no superhero though, but I'm certainly not a villain either.
I'm just a bystander caught in the crossfire.
I wish you could stand in my shoes, at least once.
And be able to understand the rush of emotions that flows through my head whenever you fall into my line of vision.
The only way that will ever happen is if you hurt.
Hurt as passionately as I hurt for you.
I hate you almost as strongly as I hold love for you.
But please, don't take it personally.