Long eyelashes blinking away the snowflakes
hands reaching to catch them as they fall
their beauty melting away in her hands

our hearts are so capable
of selfless love
But our minds are too capable
of envious need
our hands are so capable
holding another
But our feet are too capable
of running away

Soft
Illuminating warmth
Saying my name
Begging me to stay
Your lips hold all
of my attention
Mine begging to be
Kissed

Watching you walk away without looking back
reminded me of the strength I wish I could have.

Beautiful people, with beautiful words
seductively interesting
but
Their voices hold contempt

Beautiful roses, with sweet scented petals
Curiously radiant
but
Their stems hold thorns

I mistook salt for sugar
and it burned my mouth
every time I took a drink.
Sipping, I decided the sting
was more tolerable
in small doses.
But one accidental gulp
sent me running.
and now I’m just left with
a salty aftertaste in my mouth
Or maybe that’s my tears

the words seep into the pages
they slip from my mouth to my pen
leaking out on to the paper
        don’t read that
     it’s not meant for an audience
the words help me cope
make me feel less alone
numb the pain
        don’t read that
      it’s not meant for an audience
the words keep me up at night
chase away the demons
but make them seem all too real
        don’t read that
    it’s not meant for an audience

Watching through her window
she wonders the time.
The sun is slowly fading from sight
Closing the curtains
she slides to the floor
Hugging her knees
she aches for the morn
Flickering candles throw
shadows on the walls
She cries as the moon rises and the sun falls
Afraid not of the dark
but scared of the sleep
Her eyes threatening to close
with each passing hour.
Head drooping, she dips
into shallow dreams.
Though the nightmare will drown
her if she wades too deep.

The purplish fog of dusk sets in,
only minutes left before our childish fears
take hold again.
Walls hold dancing shadows, cold fingers reaching
out, inviting me to play.
Pale hands on mine, pulling me towards the gates
Smothering my cries, they take me away
taking me away to their sire.
Flames lick my hands as I’m pulled through the fire.
Finally the hands let go, I look around
only to find myself alone.
I’ve been here for ages now, the nightmare replaying in my head
Only minutes before I am free to dance with the rest of the dead
After the purplish fog of dusk sets in.

Colors stretching across the used canvas
Colliding, interlocking fingers
Grasping for understanding
Brush raised, hovering, shaking
Each stroke only adding to the pain
Hues of sorrow, shades of hurt
filling the spaces.
Soft pattering breaking the silence
as the tears spill over the edge,
streaking the freshly painted facade

World spinning too quickly,
dreams floating through the air like snowflakes in the wind.
Slow, desperate hands hoping to catch them.
Wading through sluggish thoughts,
languidly attempting to reach the light in the dark,
stuck on a reversed path.
Suspecting stares and accusing whispers seeping into the void.
Lost in a deadly oblivion, time passing without point;
trying to hang on to what is left of life.
Feet tripping, fingers slipping off the ledge
reaching for the sky, too slow.
Grabbing only air, the fate not seeming fair
Stuck in a slow motion f
                 a
                      l
                  l …
Gazes cast downward, eyes shadowed by unforeseen guilt
Afraid of what it may hold,
the truth is covered like the peeling wallpaper
in the now empty room.

Dear 'Diary,'
I've made it another day.
I smiled amd laughed as though I was fine. I said good morning, though I don't think its really good. I said hello to those who wave, because that's how I'm expected to behave. I show a smile and make my eyes say I'm happy, so nobody wonders if I'm really fine.

They don't know that I cry all alone. They don't know that my smile is just covering my pain. They don't know that I'm not really fine. They don't know.

But that is okay, its just another day. I'll do it again tomorrow, and then the next day. But maybe one time, my smile will be genuine, and I'll really be fine. And then I won't have to cry.

I'm only human
and I break down and cry.
I'm only human,
my flaws reach the clouds.
I'm only human
and they keep ripping me down
I'm only human
and my words have no sound.

I'm only human
getting up off the ground.
I'm only human
my hands reaching for the clouds.
I'm only human
lost but now I'm found
I'm only human
and you can hear my voice now.
I'm only human
and they can't take me down.

lost in this jungle
of thoughts, I wander
and search for a
clear path to reality.
I am entangled by
these vines of wonder
they hold me tight
with no sign of surrender.

trapped in this prison
of a mind, cut off
from all truth.
Walls surround me
closing me in.
I am in search for an
escape route
and finally it shall end.
I have found a door
although it is locked.
And who should have
the key?
Nobody, but me.

Let me fly,
high above the ground
Flying in the clouds.
Feeling the wind around me
with the world far below my feet.

Release me from this cage;
unlock the door and let the
light seep into the darkness that
holds me hostage.
Cut these ropes that bind my happiness
Take away these weights that threaten to
pull me under and deep into
the all damning darkness that longs to take me away.
Release me from these cold thoughts that tinge my mind
with darkness.

Let me fly,
high above the the ground.
Flying in the clouds.
My body light as a feather.
Nothing dragging me down.

The girl who sits alone,
eating lunch by herself,
It will get better.

The girl standing
in front of the mirror
frowning at what she sees
You are beautiful

The girl in the rumors
their whispers never stop,
they have given her many names
Don't believe a single thing.

The girl they call a *****
she walks with her head down,
her eyes cast to the ground.
She is innocent of the accusations.
You are amazing.

This is for you who
no one has told
You are beautiful.
This is for you
who sits all alone
You matter.
This is for you who
feels invisible
You are loved

You who cries every night,  
shed your tears no more.
You who hides beneath
your covers,
do not be afraid.
You who feels lost and
out of place
You are loved.

You are loved.

She's drowning in a game
where the stakes are too high.
She's losing her name,
and doesn't want to be tamed.

Her cards are all in
and she's run out of time.
The rings on her finger
but she doesn't want to linger.

The odds are against her
for she's lost her shine.
All eyes are on her,
but she wants a bigger future.

The bets have been placed
and she's last in line.
She  prays it isn't true,
but still says I do.

I built a wall
surrounding my heart
guarding my mind
being careful that nobody
could get inside.
If anyone should try,
I just push them away.
And watch as they fade.
I lock the doors tight,
rather than opening them,
for that would be inviting
myself to be hurt.
Letting myself be knocked down.

So I hide in the darkness
to save myself,
to save my heart.
I lock the windows tight,
with the shades drawn,
not answering to your knock,
not letting you in.
For if I did, pain would follow
letting you see, I'm
not as strong as I seem.

Mirror, mirror,
on the wall
Who's the fairest of them all?

Is it those
short or tall?

Is it those
large or small?

Mirror, mirror
hanging there,

Is it those,
with pretty hair?

Is it those
who actually care?

Mirror, mirror,
your standards
are paper thin.

It's really
what lies within.

They may say that you aren't pretty enough.
But true beauty is in your heart,
not your face. You don't need to hide
behind that mask of make-up.
You matter.

The number on the scale doesn't matter.
Your dress size doesn't matter.
You matter.

Your voice deserves
to be heard.
Your opinion matters.
You matter.

Don't let anyone say
you aren't good enough.
You matter.

You have no idea
how much it hurts.
You have no idea
how alone I am.
You complain about
how horrible your life is,
as though your life
is worse than everyone else's.
But there are people everywhere
who have is it worse than you.
Yet, you have the gall to
rant to me about your life.
But, you have no idea.

Life is a race
every one craves to win.
Everyone is out for
their own selfish interests.
We are all climbing this mountain,
trying get to the top.
The smart ones
climb over whoever they need to.
The reckless ones
wear cleats.
The fools are left for dead.
Everybody pushes down the
weak people, walking all over them.
It's every man for himself.

Death.
What happens afterwards?
If I knew, I'd have been gone
a long time ago instead of
letting my heart break repeatedly.
Instead of letting you hurt me.
Rather than letting the pain swallow me.

I always get my hopes up,
just to watch them fall.
I always lead with my heart,
Just to see you break it.
I let your words eat me away,
devouring my dignity.
I let you put me down,
drowning my self-esteem.

I feel like an old toy;
used, broken, set down,
and never picked back up.
I feel like a pest, unwanted
and displeasing.
I feel alone and invisible,
while standing in a crowd.

If I knew what came after death,
and it wasn't too bad,
then I would be gone.

How is it you can say that you love me? You trick and lie to me. You take my dreams and crumble them as though they are worthless. You beat me down and rip me up with your hateful words.
I'm stupid. I'm an idiot. I'm a *****.
Yet, you claim to love me.......yeah, right

You put on a show for the people around us, pretending to be a saint, even though you're from hell. You're a hypocrite, picking out  my flaws, while missing your own.
But you love me...... whatever

You tell twisted stories, fibs and lies, and say deceit isn't right. You sneak around like a fox, stealing my happiness like a rabbit from a burrow.
You can't stand my tear, yet you continue to hurt me. You don't want me around, but won't let me go.
But you love me.........sure you do.

I'm trapped in a fox's den
of deceit.
I'm stuck in a spider's web
of lies

My hope has been lost
to the claws of a vulture.
My dreams have been crushed
by a self-centered beast.

Thanks for the pain you left me,
To swallow me alive,
to tear me apart.

Thanks for turning
out the lights,
so I could drown
in the darkness.

Thanks for leaving me
to sink into the despair.
Like quicksand, pulling me under
and stealing my breath.

Thank you, it's much appreciated.

Floating through a sea
so full, yet so empty.
They bind my heart
with chains of despair.
They rip through my mind,
cruel and unforgiving.
They are carved into me,
leaving their scars on my life.
They are wasted, carelessly,
and so relentlessly.
Yet, I still feel
broken and beat.
Like a tornado
they destroy everything
in their path.
Tearing down the brick wall
that I put up so long ago.
The pain and hurt swirl around me
pushing me into the darkness.
Never letting up, never giving up.

Life is a grenade
ready to explode
at any given time.
Life is broken mirror
cracked in random spots.
Life is an ocean
wild, beautiful, and free.
Life is a raging fire
burning out of control,
bright, and dangerous.
Life is a meadow
full of beautiful flowers
on a rainy day.
Life is whatever story
you decide to create.

I wander around
in a world of madness
lost with nowhere to go
Sadness and sorrow
are the only friends I've
come to know.
My heart has gone cold,
for love cannot be found.
Darkness blots out the stars.
My mind is empty
and my voice is lost.
My step falters and
I slip to the floor
I stuck in a dark room,
without windows or doors.
Life just goes on,
leaving me behind
to wander some more.

Dark clouds blanket the sky
Lightning flashes in her eyes
roaring waters run down her face
her only friend is pain
It follows her wherever she goes
She cries for someone to help her
yet, she is alone
She searches for relief night and day
for there has to be some way
At last, a door opens, stopping the rain
She's found a new path
a roadway of faith
The clouds drift apart
and sunlight pours through them
and down on her face
drying her tears and
erasing the tracks the had made
Her heart is brimming with hope
Her face filled with joy
She is a bird who's been set free
Pain is only a memory.

An old spark ignites
Sending a trail of fire
through my heart
It burns through my body
begging for his touch
But the flames cannot be quenched
they rage on like a wild fire
I need to give him up
The flames curl in desire
and I willingly abide
Knowing that in the morning
there will be another fight.

I want you
but can't have you
I crave your love
but have to resist you
I wish to pull you closer
but have to walk away
It's like a fire
continuously burning
A thirst I cannot quench
A well that won't run dry
I love you, but don't know why.

You continuously
shoot me down
Firing off your
insults without warning
Your words are your ammo
Your mouth is your gun
Like a killer, you
have no empathy
Like a cougar,
you rip me apart
You get joy from
the pain you cause me
You laugh at
my cries gleefully
Your claws stab my heart
Your bite cuts deep
But I still stand back up
And hold my head high
and walk away with
courage in each stride.

She's surrounded by people
yet she is alone
Her misery hangs in the air like smoke
She feels as though she's trapped in a box
with no way to escape
Like a permanent marker
she can't erase the pain
She can't bear to look in the mirror
for fear of what she'll see
Her shame is a loyal dog
following her unrelentlessly
The sun has quit shining
and clouds fill the sky
and rain pours down from her eyes
She tries to hold on
but the pain stabs like a knife
pulling her under and dimming the lights.

An ocean never sailed
A mountain never climbed
A seed never planted
A flower never bloomed
A life never lived
A light never shined
Nothing lost for you to find.

A heart never broken
A cry never heard
A question never answered
A page never turned
A story never told
A lesson never learned
Nothing right to be wrong.

A sight never seen
A scent never smelled
A sound never heard
A picture never taken
A song never sang
A gun never shot
No fight to be fought.

A dream never chased
A shoe never laced
A box never opened
A hole never dug
A person never loved
A book never read
Nothing left to be said.

long, white fingers, ice cold lips
death's kiss

a handful of pills too many
the world around me dims

a noose pulled tight
the ground begins to spin

I jump and then I'm falling
the darkness is calling

Long, white fingers, ice cold lips
a death wish

There are people on the streets that are barely alive
Others that barely make ends meet
Then there those who seem to have it all
but really they are missing out on the love that they need
There are people over seas fighting for our country
And people here a home killing their own brothers
There are criminals and victims
The rich and the poor
The unknown and the famous
Some people are greedy, others are grateful
Some people are caring, while others are hateful
But if we all took a step back and realized that
everyone has their own struggles
then maybe, just maybe the world could be a better place.

You will always have a choice
To follow or to be followed
To follow in someone else's footprints
or to make your own
You can take a path that is already laid out
or lay out your own

Tough times will come; they always do
You can turn back or keep pushing forward
You can hurdle the obstacles
or let them stop you in your tracks

You will always have a choice
To fight or to surrender