He's like whiskey and coke
He's worse than any drug I could smoke
A habit I can't break
No matter how much of an effort I make

He's my addiction
I simply can't resist him
I can't give him up
For I love him too much

I want his love
like an addict needs a drug
I'm an alcoholic and
He's the bottle I drink from

I mistook salt for sugar
and it burned my mouth
every time I took a drink.
Sipping, I decided the sting
was more tolerable
in small doses.
But one accidental gulp
sent me running.
and now I’m just left with
a salty aftertaste in my mouth
Or maybe that’s my tears

Watching you walk away without looking back
reminded me of the strength I wish I could have.

Beautiful people, with beautiful words
seductively interesting
but
Their voices hold contempt

Beautiful roses, with sweet scented petals
Curiously radiant
but
Their stems hold thorns

Soft
Illuminating warmth
Saying my name
Begging me to stay
Your lips hold all
of my attention
Mine begging to be
Kissed

I built a wall
surrounding my heart
guarding my mind
being careful that nobody
could get inside.
If anyone should try,
I just push them away.
And watch as they fade.
I lock the doors tight,
rather than opening them,
for that would be inviting
myself to be hurt.
Letting myself be knocked down.

So I hide in the darkness
to save myself,
to save my heart.
I lock the windows tight,
with the shades drawn,
not answering to your knock,
not letting you in.
For if I did, pain would follow
letting you see, I'm
not as strong as I seem.

You will always have a choice
To follow or to be followed
To follow in someone else's footprints
or to make your own
You can take a path that is already laid out
or lay out your own

Tough times will come; they always do
You can turn back or keep pushing forward
You can hurdle the obstacles
or let them stop you in your tracks

You will always have a choice
To fight or to surrender

The purplish fog of dusk sets in,
only minutes left before our childish fears
take hold again.
Walls hold dancing shadows, cold fingers reaching
out, inviting me to play.
Pale hands on mine, pulling me towards the gates
Smothering my cries, they take me away
taking me away to their sire.
Flames lick my hands as I’m pulled through the fire.
Finally the hands let go, I look around
only to find myself alone.
I’ve been here for ages now, the nightmare replaying in my head
Only minutes before I am free to dance with the rest of the dead
After the purplish fog of dusk sets in.

World spinning too quickly,
dreams floating through the air like snowflakes in the wind.
Slow, desperate hands hoping to catch them.
Wading through sluggish thoughts,
languidly attempting to reach the light in the dark,
stuck on a reversed path.
Suspecting stares and accusing whispers seeping into the void.
Lost in a deadly oblivion, time passing without point;
trying to hang on to what is left of life.
Feet tripping, fingers slipping off the ledge
reaching for the sky, too slow.
Grabbing only air, the fate not seeming fair
Stuck in a slow motion f
                 a
                      l
                  l …
Gazes cast downward, eyes shadowed by unforeseen guilt
Afraid of what it may hold,
the truth is covered like the peeling wallpaper
in the now empty room.

Dear 'Diary,'
I've made it another day.
I smiled amd laughed as though I was fine. I said good morning, though I don't think its really good. I said hello to those who wave, because that's how I'm expected to behave. I show a smile and make my eyes say I'm happy, so nobody wonders if I'm really fine.

They don't know that I cry all alone. They don't know that my smile is just covering my pain. They don't know that I'm not really fine. They don't know.

But that is okay, its just another day. I'll do it again tomorrow, and then the next day. But maybe one time, my smile will be genuine, and I'll really be fine. And then I won't have to cry.

long, white fingers, ice cold lips
death's kiss

a handful of pills too many
the world around me dims

a noose pulled tight
the ground begins to spin

I jump and then I'm falling
the darkness is calling

Long, white fingers, ice cold lips
a death wish

I want you
but can't have you
I crave your love
but have to resist you
I wish to pull you closer
but have to walk away
It's like a fire
continuously burning
A thirst I cannot quench
A well that won't run dry
I love you, but don't know why.

the words seep into the pages
they slip from my mouth to my pen
leaking out on to the paper
        don’t read that
     it’s not meant for an audience
the words help me cope
make me feel less alone
numb the pain
        don’t read that
      it’s not meant for an audience
the words keep me up at night
chase away the demons
but make them seem all too real
        don’t read that
    it’s not meant for an audience

The mountains arise
With courage she strides

When obstacles appear
she doesn't shed a tear

Her head's held up high
for this is her life

She weaves her own path
against the world's wrath

Before dawn's first light
she's up for the fight

Life is a grenade
ready to explode
at any given time.
Life is broken mirror
cracked in random spots.
Life is an ocean
wild, beautiful, and free.
Life is a raging fire
burning out of control,
bright, and dangerous.
Life is a meadow
full of beautiful flowers
on a rainy day.
Life is whatever story
you decide to create.

Let me fly,
high above the ground
Flying in the clouds.
Feeling the wind around me
with the world far below my feet.

Release me from this cage;
unlock the door and let the
light seep into the darkness that
holds me hostage.
Cut these ropes that bind my happiness
Take away these weights that threaten to
pull me under and deep into
the all damning darkness that longs to take me away.
Release me from these cold thoughts that tinge my mind
with darkness.

Let me fly,
high above the the ground.
Flying in the clouds.
My body light as a feather.
Nothing dragging me down.

lost in this jungle
of thoughts, I wander
and search for a
clear path to reality.
I am entangled by
these vines of wonder
they hold me tight
with no sign of surrender.

trapped in this prison
of a mind, cut off
from all truth.
Walls surround me
closing me in.
I am in search for an
escape route
and finally it shall end.
I have found a door
although it is locked.
And who should have
the key?
Nobody, but me.

I'm only human
and I break down and cry.
I'm only human,
my flaws reach the clouds.
I'm only human
and they keep ripping me down
I'm only human
and my words have no sound.

I'm only human
getting up off the ground.
I'm only human
my hands reaching for the clouds.
I'm only human
lost but now I'm found
I'm only human
and you can hear my voice now.
I'm only human
and they can't take me down.

She's surrounded by people
yet she is alone
Her misery hangs in the air like smoke
She feels as though she's trapped in a box
with no way to escape
Like a permanent marker
she can't erase the pain
She can't bear to look in the mirror
for fear of what she'll see
Her shame is a loyal dog
following her unrelentlessly
The sun has quit shining
and clouds fill the sky
and rain pours down from her eyes
She tries to hold on
but the pain stabs like a knife
pulling her under and dimming the lights.

Death.
What happens afterwards?
If I knew, I'd have been gone
a long time ago instead of
letting my heart break repeatedly.
Instead of letting you hurt me.
Rather than letting the pain swallow me.

I always get my hopes up,
just to watch them fall.
I always lead with my heart,
Just to see you break it.
I let your words eat me away,
devouring my dignity.
I let you put me down,
drowning my self-esteem.

I feel like an old toy;
used, broken, set down,
and never picked back up.
I feel like a pest, unwanted
and displeasing.
I feel alone and invisible,
while standing in a crowd.

If I knew what came after death,
and it wasn't too bad,
then I would be gone.

I love you you say
yet I'm the one you betray

You ask me to stay
and lead me astray

I'll always be there for you
but I know this isn't true

I'll never leave you
as if I don't have a clue

You say believe me
but you're a snake in the weeds

You say that you'll change or that you'll try
but I know that this is all just a lie

The tears have fallen
The cries have been heard
look what you did

My heart is clenched
by the fist of saddness
look what you did

I look but I cannot see
I seek but I cannot find
Look what you did

I pray but get no answer
My pain has no relief
Look what you did

My heart is a puzzle
that cannot be solved
the pieces are scattered
some broken, some lost
A couple have tried to gather the pieces
but realized the problem
and simply retreated
Some pieces were taken a souveniers
perhaps a way to remember my tears
My heart has been stolen
a few times before
but is always given back
broken even more

Mirror, mirror,
on the wall
Who's the fairest of them all?

Is it those
short or tall?

Is it those
large or small?

Mirror, mirror
hanging there,

Is it those,
with pretty hair?

Is it those
who actually care?

Mirror, mirror,
your standards
are paper thin.

It's really
what lies within.

You have no idea
how much it hurts.
You have no idea
how alone I am.
You complain about
how horrible your life is,
as though your life
is worse than everyone else's.
But there are people everywhere
who have is it worse than you.
Yet, you have the gall to
rant to me about your life.
But, you have no idea.

An ocean never sailed
A mountain never climbed
A seed never planted
A flower never bloomed
A life never lived
A light never shined
Nothing lost for you to find.

A heart never broken
A cry never heard
A question never answered
A page never turned
A story never told
A lesson never learned
Nothing right to be wrong.

A sight never seen
A scent never smelled
A sound never heard
A picture never taken
A song never sang
A gun never shot
No fight to be fought.

A dream never chased
A shoe never laced
A box never opened
A hole never dug
A person never loved
A book never read
Nothing left to be said.

Life is a race
every one craves to win.
Everyone is out for
their own selfish interests.
We are all climbing this mountain,
trying get to the top.
The smart ones
climb over whoever they need to.
The reckless ones
wear cleats.
The fools are left for dead.
Everybody pushes down the
weak people, walking all over them.
It's every man for himself.

Dark clouds blanket the sky
Lightning flashes in her eyes
roaring waters run down her face
her only friend is pain
It follows her wherever she goes
She cries for someone to help her
yet, she is alone
She searches for relief night and day
for there has to be some way
At last, a door opens, stopping the rain
She's found a new path
a roadway of faith
The clouds drift apart
and sunlight pours through them
and down on her face
drying her tears and
erasing the tracks the had made
Her heart is brimming with hope
Her face filled with joy
She is a bird who's been set free
Pain is only a memory.

They say all men were created equal
but it seems this isn't true
For if my feelings were a color
right now they would be blue

You ask for my perfection
as if it's a simple thing
I'm trapped like a prisoner
with no relief from my pain

Your word are a whip
that leaves scars on my heart
you say that you love me
but then tear me apart

Watching through her window
she wonders the time.
The sun is slowly fading from sight
Closing the curtains
she slides to the floor
Hugging her knees
she aches for the morn
Flickering candles throw
shadows on the walls
She cries as the moon rises and the sun falls
Afraid not of the dark
but scared of the sleep
Her eyes threatening to close
with each passing hour.
Head drooping, she dips
into shallow dreams.
Though the nightmare will drown
her if she wades too deep.

Long eyelashes blinking away the snowflakes
hands reaching to catch them as they fall
their beauty melting away in her hands

Colors stretching across the used canvas
Colliding, interlocking fingers
Grasping for understanding
Brush raised, hovering, shaking
Each stroke only adding to the pain
Hues of sorrow, shades of hurt
filling the spaces.
Soft pattering breaking the silence
as the tears spill over the edge,
streaking the freshly painted facade

There are people on the streets that are barely alive
Others that barely make ends meet
Then there those who seem to have it all
but really they are missing out on the love that they need
There are people over seas fighting for our country
And people here a home killing their own brothers
There are criminals and victims
The rich and the poor
The unknown and the famous
Some people are greedy, others are grateful
Some people are caring, while others are hateful
But if we all took a step back and realized that
everyone has their own struggles
then maybe, just maybe the world could be a better place.

Thanks for the pain you left me,
To swallow me alive,
to tear me apart.

Thanks for turning
out the lights,
so I could drown
in the darkness.

Thanks for leaving me
to sink into the despair.
Like quicksand, pulling me under
and stealing my breath.

Thank you, it's much appreciated.

The girl who sits alone,
eating lunch by herself,
It will get better.

The girl standing
in front of the mirror
frowning at what she sees
You are beautiful

The girl in the rumors
their whispers never stop,
they have given her many names
Don't believe a single thing.

The girl they call a *****
she walks with her head down,
her eyes cast to the ground.
She is innocent of the accusations.
You are amazing.

I wish we could go back to
the way things used to be
When we played with sidewalk chalk
and had bruises on our knees
When we didn't care what
others had to say
When we could fight and make up
When all we did was play
Back when we didn't have regrets
Everything was a game
Nothing had us stressed
Nobody had a label
We weren't pretty, ugly, rich, or poor
But nothing's like this anymore.

She's drowning in a game
where the stakes are too high.
She's losing her name,
and doesn't want to be tamed.

Her cards are all in
and she's run out of time.
The rings on her finger
but she doesn't want to linger.

The odds are against her
for she's lost her shine.
All eyes are on her,
but she wants a bigger future.

The bets have been placed
and she's last in line.
She  prays it isn't true,
but still says I do.

our hearts are so capable
of selfless love
But our minds are too capable
of envious need
our hands are so capable
holding another
But our feet are too capable
of running away

I'm trapped in a fox's den
of deceit.
I'm stuck in a spider's web
of lies

My hope has been lost
to the claws of a vulture.
My dreams have been crushed
by a self-centered beast.

You think she is happy
but truly she is torn
Her eyes twinkle, but-
Oh! - Look again
it's really just tears
tracking down to her chin
She's the center of attention
but would rather be alone
She dresses to impress
But couldn't care less
She acts like sunshine
but really she's rain
She say that she's fine
'cause she won't share her pain
She'd rather cry all alone
in a little pool of shame