I wonder if enough time has passed for you to forget me.

Do you remember what we had?
Or has it been replaced with all new memories?

Would you still recognize me?
Or would I be a stranger to your eyes?

Would you talk to me like a long lost friend?
Or would you pretend you didn't see me?

Are you truly happy now?
Because that's all that matters to me.

I read your words over and over.
I wonder if you still mean them a month later.
Do you still feel the way you did or was it just a sudden flash of feelings that appeared and is now gone?  
Tell me, where are you at?

Did I deserve to be treated like this?
No, nobody does.
But did I ever deserve someone as perfect as you?
No again.
Or maybe a better question is did you deserve someone like me?
Still a no. You deserve better.
But I gave you my best,
I gave you my all.
You might not realize it, but I am nothing without you.
I gave you everything I had to offer and now I'm left with nothing.
Nothing but memories. And even those hurt to have.
People say that if something seems to good to be true,
Then it probably is.
But I forced myself to not believe it.
To believe that for some reason we would be different.
Well I was wrong, and I payed dearly for that.
I lost the only thing I cared about, the only thing I need.
And you, you moved on like nothing happened.
But for some reason, I still love you.
It can't be helped.
My heart is yours forever.

I'm over you.
But I want you.
But I really don't.
But I actually kinda do.
But I can live without you.
But do I want to?

17hrs left. Lets see how much I can sleep away.
Cool. 7 more hours.
5 left. What shall I do?
3 hours. This is taking forever.
1 hour.
45 minutes. I'm getting nervous.
30 minutes.
15.
10. Here it comes.
Its almost here. Will I survive?

"Never give up on someone that you can't go a day without thinking about."

"Letting go of someone dear to you is hard, but holding on to someone who doesn't even feel the same is much harder."

Well then what am I supposed to do?

That was harder than expected.
Why does it have to be this hard?
Shouldn't I be able to move on?
But I don't want to and I can't.
***** to be me.

I just do see how I can do it.
But I will try my best.
I will do what I can to make it work.
And if I fail, I won't be any worse off than I am now.

I see so much pain.
So much hurt and depression.
Talk of suicide and self injury.
I know nothing that anyone says will help the hurt.
So I encourage everyone who knows someone like this,
To just listen.
Don't try giving advice,
It doesn't help.
Don't tell us stories of yourself in a similar situation,
We are different.
We just want someone to listen to us and be there for us.

And for everyone who feels worthless and ready to die,
Hang in there.
You are loved.
More people than you could imagine care about you.
I know it won't be easy at all,
But try.
Even if you only find one reason to live and a million to die,
Fight for that one reason.

You know what irritates me the most?
The fact that you won't talk to me,
But you won't leave either.
You stay there in front of me,
Always waiting around the next corner,
Always leaving a trail where you know I'll see it.
But anytime I try to talk to you,
You just pretend I don't exist.
Can you just choose one side or the other?
Either talk to me or get out of my way.

Why do we need emotion?
What is the point of pain?
Why do we have memories?

Why do we need emotion?
Sure it may be nice sometimes,
But what about all the negative emotions?

What is the point of pain?
All it does is hurt.
We don't need that in our lives,
So why do we have it?
Why can't we just discard it or ignore it?
People often say "I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all."
Am I the only one who thinks this to be crazy?"
I  would rather be without feelings, good and bad, than have to suffer through pain.
Maybe I'm just naïve.

Why do we have memories?
Sure they are nice sometime.
Sure we couldn't survive, evolve, or learn from our mistakes without them.
But memories can be harsh.
Memories can haunt you for the rest of your life.
Memories can drive you to the grave.

Why is it that such wonderful things as emotions and memories can be so harmful to people?
How can they bring so much pain?

I stopped looking at your pictures,
Because they reminded me of you.

I stopped listening to music,
Because it reminded me of you.

I stopped reading and writing poems,
Because they made me think of you.

I stopped everything that reminds me of you,
So why do you have to show up in my dreams the way you do?
Always coming back to stay,
Being mine forever.
Don't you know how much that hurts,
Waking up and crying because I know it's just a dream?
Please just leave me alone.

I'm to the point where I don't know if I could ever take you back,
Even if you asked.
That doesn't mean I don't love you,
Because I still love you with all of my heart.
But after this experience,
How could I trust you enough to not hurt me again?

I give you my all, and you give me your leftovers.
When you're sad I comfort you, when I'm sad I'm alone.
Your problems are mine too. My problems are... mine.

It's hard to keep pouring myself into you when I am not getting refilled myself.

I don't want to give up, but would you even care?
Would you notice?
Would you be better off?
Am I too much?

You told me "I loved you and now I dont. Its as simple as that."
It's as simple as that?
SIMPLE?
How can you love someone one day and not love them the next?
How can you promise someone forever and then just up and leave?
It was "simple"?
You never really loved me.
Because it's not simple to just stop loving somebody.

Believe me,
I've been trying...

This is a message I received. too similar to the one from "stephanie" to be coincidence. just a heads up.

My name is Roseline,I came across your profile while browsing i was moved
to contact you as I want to know you the more , i will like you to write
to me through my private email address here(roselinederricksylbert@hotmail.com) so that i will send you my
pictures and introduce myself well to you.and i also have some important
information i will like to disclose to you I hope we can move from here
my regards, as I wait for your reply at.
(roselinederricksylbert@hotmail.com) stay blessed.

Did you really love me?
Or did you just love the person you were because of me?
Seeing how you left me stranded,
I think I have my answer...

I saw signs of you twice today.
You appear and disappear like a faint smell on the wind.
Why do you have to do that,
Show up and disappear before I can even see you?
Leaving only traces of yourself for me to hold on to.
But at least I know you are around and still care at least a little.
That's a nice feeling, so thank you.
Would you mind staying around for a little next time?

I've never done a challenge before, but I've been thinking on writing a poem about what kind of Pokemon I would be. I guess this would be more for the nerd-type people here. But I challenge others to write what kind of Pokemon they would be. Let me know if you accept so I can check it out.


If I Were A Pokemon....

I would be a Ditto.
I'm Ditto because I'm a different person depending on who I'm with.
I tend to transform into what others like.
I become what they want to see out of me.
Whether that means always joking around,
Being a little extra sad,
Talking "like a Christian",
Or talking like a "normal" person my age.
I will become whatever you want just to make you happy,
Because it doesn't matter who I really am.
I'm *Ditto

I do not know why
Regardless of what I do
I'm not enough for you

When I woke up alive this morning,
I was disappointed.

Was it the challenge that you were after?
You just wanted me because nobody else has ever had me?
I was unbreakable, nobody could get to me.
You just wanted what you couldn't have.
And after some time, when you realized you had finally truly gotten me,
You left, because the thrill of the chase was gone.
So you moved on to a new challenge.

Was it the lust?
I don't see how it could be, I'm not an attractive person.
But it seems that the times you miss most are the times that we were together for lust, not love.
And when my lust finally turned to love, you left.
When we no longer fooled around, you got bored of me.

Was it to brag?
Did you just want me so that you could say you were dating a senior, a track star, a guy that everyone liked?
But when you realized that I wasn't as amazing as you thought, you were disappointed and bored, so you left.

I've run every possibility through my mind, and they all make sense except for one little detail:
You say you still love me.
So either you are lying to me and making sure that you break my heart beyond repair,
Or you are confused.
Because if you love me, you wouldn't love him too.

I know you don't check on here anymore,
But I still can't post about you.
Because what if you should stumble across them someday?
How would you feel?
Would you miss me at all if you saw the pain I'm in?
Or would you keep scrolling the page,
Pretending not to even see it?
I don't really know, but you'll never see any poems I write for you.
Not that you care.

Why do I still love you?
Why can't I just forget you and move on with my life?
I know I will actually be happy when I move on,
So what's holding me back?

Hey.
How have you been?
It's been forever since we've talked,
But not due to a lack of me trying.
I bet he told you not to talk to me.
I bet your mom told you to stay away.
Am I really that bad of a person?

I miss our talks.
I wonder how you're doing.
I long for the only person who ever understood me,
Even more than I understood myself.

And since you refuse to acknowledge my existence,
I'm stuck writing to a screen,
Writing meaningless words to nothing,
Words you will never hear or see,
Words that nobody else understands,
Just words...