what's your full name? got any nicknames? pet names you swore to god you'll never let anyone call you?

do you have any siblings? pets? what are their names?

do you know harry potter? if yes, the books, or the movies? if no, have you been living under a rock all these years?

how do you take your coffee? two sugars, or more? do you mind if me drinking one too many cups is an equivalent to getting sugar rush? (i do that way too often, the caffeine overdose. after my sixth mug, i urge you to stop me.)

are you sure you like me?

what's your favorite color? ice cream flavor? movie? time of the day?

if you were a disney princess, who would you be, and why? which disney movie had the best ost?

any weird fetishes? kinks? fantasies? are you looking for a manic pixie dream girl? because let me tell you right off the bat, baby, you ain't gonna find her here—

can you tolerate awkward phone call silences? introversion? having me disappear on you because it's one of those days, well, really, it's been one of those days with me for almost years now, but that's not really the point;

will you hold my face and tell me it's okay even though i repeatedly tell you it's not? if it comes to it, will you take the pills from my hand and empty the barrel of its bullets and hold me closer even if i scream at you to just leave me the **** alone?

when my demons come out to play, will you help me fight them off? when i can't get out of bed, will you come with me underneath the covers and let me find comfort in your chest? when i am convinced the universe is against me, will you prove me otherwise?

are you absolutely sure you can love a messed up girl like me?

do you want to know where i got these scars?*

"i have no idea. they were just /there/." my mother merely traced the fading lines on my pale skin and frowned.

"i must have scratched it somewhere." i offered as assurance and she agreed, the topic dropping as quickly as she dropped my hand.

do you want to know where i got these scars?

"i fell down the stairs." i blurted out, panicking at the question. it was the most unconvincing answer in all the history of self-harm, but what was a girl to do in the case of sudden confrontation?

my friends (god bless their souls) nodded and turned away their gazes. "those are awfully symmetrical for an accident," one murmured once she thought i was out of earshot, and it took everything within me not to turn around and yell at her for calling me out on my feeble fib.

do you want to know where i got these scars?

"my cat scratched me."
"you don't have a cat."
"oh, ****. did i say 'my' cat? i meant a wild cat. jumped at me out of nowhere. crazy, right?"

she shook her head. "if you're going to lie, at least make it convincing." she advised, and i shrugged.

do you want to know where i got these scars?

"i had to fight off my monsters." i wiggled my eyebrows, tugging my jacket sleeve a little more snuggly around my wrist. "i'm sure you did," she humored me before turning serious. "you can always enlist me to fight them with you."

i didn't know what to say.

do you want to know where i got these scars?

"cold nights and even colder razor blades."

she nodded and passed me the bottle. i watched as she took a shot from her own glass, her shirt riding up ever so slightly; faint scars seemingly outlining the portions of herself she wanted to cut off shining under the moonlight.

i didn't ask.

fall, (v.)

what i did.

home, (n.)

when i am with you, there is nowhere else i'd rather be; and i am a person who always wants to be somewhere else.

hurt, (v.)

i have vague memories of what i said the night i lied to you that i did not love you, but i remember my voice hitching in my throat. i remember it hurt.  

kiss, (v.)

our faces are inches from each other. you freeze, and i giggle before calling you a coward. i rarely kiss first; but if i didn't, then i don't think that distance between us would've closed at all.

lost, (adj.)

i was willing to let you go, and yet, at the same time, i have never wanted to be so /selfish/ in my entire life.

love, (n.)

you.

mine, (n.)

what i want you to be.

name, (n.)

your mother's maiden name was the same as my ex' middle name. i remember laughing until my sides hurt once i found out.

prom, (n.)

"you're all mine on prom night." prom night never happened, but it's the thought that counts.

song, (n.)

all those corny tunes on the radio have been reminding me of you lately.

sick, (adj.)

you, too very often. i wish i knew how to take care of you but i can barely do that for myself.

sing, (v.)

my most vivid memory of you includes you auditioning to our glee club with *together in electric dreams. you ******. we would laugh about it later on.

stay, (v.)

you make it so hard to leave.