.



silence

                                                   ­                                                                 ­                                                       so faraway
so near.

                                                          ­                            everything
                                                                ­                       in me
                                                                ­                       wants to
                                                                ­                       fill it up
                                                              ­                         with empty
                                                           ­                            noise.

but there are
brief glimpses
when i
can







                                                     ­                                   embrace
                                                                ­                        silence
                                                                ­                        and be
                                                              ­                          at peace.





                                        




.




­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                                          .

i've
        been
                   chasing
                   oblivion
                                    all
                                         my
                                    life.
                   today i
                   realized
         i'm
free                        
       to  
           just        
                   be.  
                            all
                                ­  life
                                          
               ­                            is
                                     beautiful,
                                 i just need to
                             stop long enough to
                                  really  accept
               ­                           life.

.                                          you                                     i
                                         smiled                            smiled



                            we                                                                my
                                 smiled                                           heart
                                           at life                         smiles      
                                                     with great joy

winter days
always remind me of you.
                                                                                        the way your feet would
                                                                                        touch  my feet under the covers.
i could never keep you warm,
but later i realized  that wasn't my job.

                                                                                        your warm breath against my chest,
                                                                                        and your icy cold feet woke me up.
i wanted so badly to embrace you with
all my warmth and love.  
                                                                                        i woke up to the reality that  i didn't have
                                                                                        enough warmth to give away.
now, i'm warm and alone.  
i miss your cold feet.
                                                                                        slowly waking up,
                                                                                        feet and all.

life               broken  
        lived                  free
                   from                cages  
    
                   heart               break  
                  
                   collide             into
                              
                               silent
dreams

[This poem is meant to be sung with a Southern twang.]

I've been missin' you,
thought I knew  how to  let you go.

I've been so blue,
and that winter wind cuts deep within.

I never really thought we'd be through.
Not really sure how to live my life
without you.

I've been so lost,
think I'll drink my life away.

Maybe all I need is a song.
A new song to set my heart free.

I  stay up all night, and I greet the morning sun.
I'm happy to face a new day.
A day where I don't have to drink my blues away.

Girl, I still love you.
But I'm letting you go, so I can be free.

**** people,
who tell me to be calm.
talk to my mother ******' hand.

every little thing is an excuse
    to explode.  
              reaction, action, explosion,
                        and ultimately implosion.

i act out emotionally coz
i don't want to deal with myself.
more and more i'm being less of a
            drama queen.

but i'd be ****** if i let go of my
               inner queen.
     coz when's she's not loco,
        she's wise and kind.

even straight self identifying
queer men with father issues
        can unleash their
                  queen.

my body
            wants
                 to move
                               in
                   rhythm
        to your
heart