Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
980 · Dec 2013
Mary Jane
Sia Jane Dec 2013
This feels just like
Another cliché  because
You're the girl
I wanna sit under
The stars with
On a dark cold night
On the roof of my car
Cashmere blankets covering
Naked bodies
Wrapped inside one another
Conceiving constellations
Fingers pointing as
Patterns are shaped within
The sky above us

You're the girl I wanna hold
So tight that I'll always believe
I'll never lose you
That the vastness of your beauty
Of your warmth and persuasion
Never absconds
Leaving me searching through
Oceans and land
Just to taste the water of
Your love
The purity
How tranquil it leaves me
Like a baby lulled to sleep

I call you Mary Jane
You leave me high and I begin
To believe I am at one with
Those stars we are naming above
Because if I am a star above
And you are named as one too
We will never lose one another
That is why I want to sit
With you
On the roof top of my car
Out in the abyss of my surroundings
And stare above and sing a lullaby
Of my love
And count those stars until
Calmed and soothed we fall
Into the slumber of love
Only a cloud can carry
And awake anew to the rising
Of the sun
The intensity of the passion
Imploding within our bodies
A fiery sky of red and yellows
Until all that is visible is blue
Lighting a blank canvas of fields
Where we begin to sketch out
Our love
Yet again.

© Sia Jane
---

"I think that I could be fine
If I could be Mary Jane Holland tonight
I think we'd have a good time
If you'd meet me and Mary Jane in Holland tonight."


Lady Gaga
966 · May 2015
The Mourning
Sia Jane May 2015
You raise me from the dead
you ask me why I felt the need to go?
a life so young, a girl so unknown
hid away from the world
until my final breath, took me to
my resting place.

A New Moon hangs low in the sky
reflecting your silhouette in marble stone
as you dig through the night,
whistling your tune
unearthing souls
too fragile for this world

Song birds signal the break of dawn
tides are high, crashing to the shore
another morning whispers your prayers
you hear my ghost
you know I'm near
you ask of me to show myself
you long to see my face

As I appear,
once frozen glaciers melt
down your cheeks
like streams on a mountain

Your eyes are cleansed
loss & solitude evaporate
& you find me
back in your Universe.

© Sia Jane
Trying to keep up <3 work in progress!
964 · Sep 2013
love without tragedy
Sia Jane Sep 2013
My beautiful, darling, angelic Isla.
My heart is crying a thousand oceans tonight, and it will for days, weeks, months and years I am sure. For over 12 years you were one of my best friends.
Not a day passed when you did not ask after me, support me, or love me.
If the heavens could ask for a perfect friend, they would choose you.
In all those years we never once fought or argued.
You were only ever the strength that completed my need for a back bone, which enabled us ultimately to both get through and fight through life.
To know, as with Elin, you have taken your life, I bleed for you. I ache. The pain is so deeply embedded in my chest that I find myself gasping to even breathe.
I will probably write to you a million times over, knowing that in your place of safety you are talking back at me, sitting by me, answering my prayers.
I am beyond devastated you took your life, one so young, and yet I also know that, despite endless fighting, your demons would not rest. That was never your fault. Your past was never your choice or fault. I love you with all that I am, and I know, every day, you are with me.
I feel you here as the tears hit my cheeks and drip on to the keyboard.
I could never replace you, change you, or ask more of you.
Thank you.
Thank you for gracing my life and saving my life, many times over.
How will I be without you my darling… with me. With me. That I know. I love you, and may you rest in safety, security and love.
All the things you so desperately craved from this world so cruel to you.
Rest in peace princess.

© Sia Jane
For one of my best friends, who sadly took her own life <3
954 · Sep 2014
Deadly nightshade
Sia Jane Sep 2014
It was akin to
her very first
kiss.
That unknown
sensation of what
two
parted lips tasted.
Pressed together
mouths slightly
apart.
An unnerving move
tilting heads discovering
lands
tastes never savoured.
****** territory
not a single
bourbon.
No intoxicating
malt to liquor her up
trails
of poison ivy.
Painful to those
wandering hands
tracing.
A woman's silhouette
finding ridges
curves
of a body.
Telling a thousand stories
scarred histories
marked.
The bark of natures trees
bearing wars of
times
passed through ages.
At the tap root
her deep enveloping
soul.
Foreboding hazel
green eyes
surrendering
a rose guarded quintessence.
Locked lips
red vines capture
her.
Tropical pitcher plant
carnivore consumption
you
better, run girl, run.

© Sia Jane
953 · Aug 2014
From the inside
Sia Jane Aug 2014
Thorns guarded gates of,
boundaried frontiers,
where roses appeared,
in fractured concrete,
a lovers war.

Complicated star crossed,
shooting within universes,
explosive desires,
catapulting grenades,
sand piles blown;
smithereens.

Splintered fragments,
of body; bodies,
at heavens gates.

Hell & hostility,
dollars fueling,
****(s) laced with crack(s);
watered roots.

The final frontier.

© Sia Jane
941 · Sep 2015
For Truth
Sia Jane Sep 2015
Yesterday I was ready to
tell you, all about what I'd done
for you to see me
in the light of day

the real me, not
the one I paint of myself.
Today, the paints cover
the very cove my body is

its sheltered hollow
recesses, each nook
hiding the darkest parts
hiding who I truly am.

If the sea was to part, no
if you could part the sea for me
I could know to trust
you, but here I am

alone, lost in thought, scared
to even dare unfold my body.
That is the truth now
not tomorrows, not

yesterdays. Can I ask you
to come find me. I
know I'm remote. There's
a lighthouse by the shore.

You will see me there.
The truth is hard to bear
even for me, & I want
no stone unturned.                 © Sia Jane
937 · Feb 2015
Her, Rising
Sia Jane Feb 2015
Her, Rising

"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint."

Isaiah 40:31

My feet still, held
gravity pulls, I'm
still on the ground

Your wings addorsed
I stand,
faithful to the
King of the Skies

You are the messenger
of Highest Gods
you represent all
I wish to be

courage
    power
        strength


My face torn, masks
unearthed
ripped & savaged

I'm The Scream
Munch painting
art
alluded expressionism

Oils, pastels, crayon
sink into my skin
as claws rip flesh
away from my bone

I am the Fallen
you are the Rising

I am your Canvas
you are my Artist.

© Sia Jane
936 · Sep 2015
Untitled
Sia Jane Sep 2015
I don't always want to look back
with a glance
it serves me at times to look back
to the past & stare
Like a stranger, I step into
what is now my history
I become my own present tense
I see a girl transition into a woman
I see her first love, her first heartbreak
I stay in those moments
I absorb them in ways I didn't back then
collecting stories my body still holds
but seeing them with new eyes
letting my myself feel the things
I once feared
Wanting them to fill me, so
I can store them, in memory not scars
I want to sit, whisper & promise my past self
It's going to be okay
because it always has been, &
it always will be
But she's not the one who only needs teaching
I'm the one who needs to learn
As I sit in my history
I sit with pain, knowing
it will serve me.

© Sia Jane
931 · Feb 2014
Save me rays
Sia Jane Feb 2014
I met him that Tuesday,
tearing myself from the sheets,
that encased the wounded,
tired, old and heavy body.

I stepped onto the,
cold ice like bathroom floor,
shivering, as if awoken,
from the deepest of slumbers.

Tracing the marks on my face,
the mirror told the tale,
of a loss of sleep through,
the evening night, to a new dawn.

As I dressed, I remembered that,
even his smile, embrace, shine in,
those amazing brown eyes, is
enough motivation to break the wave.

The darkest of clouds, haunting
me, from such a tender age,
always emerging when I, truly
needed to carry on with a smile.

The heavens opened, journey into
the lands of hills, nature, country
pubs, the ones you find in the midst
of unknown lands, a pub every mile.

I see his eyes glisten, in the brightness
of the light sun, and he smiles, he
moves from the car, and holds me
so tight I flinch, I force a longer embrace.

Lunch passes by, too quickly,
there is never enough, light, hours,
time in the day, as his tales told with,
words, run with such fluidity.

He can tell a thousand tales, to which
I will never tire, this man is one
of those greats, idiolising him,
I gain strength, reserve, courage.

Grandad, I love you more than,
I ever believed I could, someone,
so special, he barely knows himself.

Today, I want to thank you,
for without knowing, always,
and forever, supporting me.

The day you brought the sun flowers,
after that suicide attempt.
We never spoke of that fateful day.

I was drug induced when you came,
but I remember your smile,
embrace,
eyes,
and of course,
those delightful and all meaningful,
sunflowers.

They took such pride of place,
in that empty hospital room.

© Sia Jane
925 · Sep 2014
21 grams
Sia Jane Sep 2014
In the silence,
your screams, snares & glares
bite me the most.
That last attempt,
was the only attempt
I survived,
physically unscathed.*

© Sia Jane


"It has been concluded that a human soul weighs 21 grams."
Dr. MacDougall
There is something called "The 21 Grams Theory" carried out by Dr Duncan MacDougall in 1901 and it was made more prominent in the making of the captivating film "21 Grams" directed by Alejandro González Iñárritu :)
925 · Nov 2013
grace, for her
Sia Jane Nov 2013
You're a big girl now,
pull those socks up
high,
let them go as high
as that slender thigh
wrapped around the
tattoo marking your
place,
put a smile on that
face, don't let the
hate keep you and
make you fall from
grace,
call you crazy, their
words hitting the target;
your heart, broken
ripped apart, kicked
down to the floor that
is depths deeper than
your head, hold your
breath to reach that dark
space,
you don't need saving,
you have enough face,
to laugh at the hate, and
force their hand, to eat from
yours, their face take a place
on the dart board of disgrace
one shot, two shot, three shot
man down, you're taking your
worked for dwelling among the
fighters, equally bruised you stand
tall,
you put those high heals on
red soles, matching the lipstick
marks on that champagne glass,
as we salute your success
cause no one is stronger,
than the girl, now woman,
who stands in this crowded
room, raising a glass, to
your very name, far from a
disgrace, but praise worthy
admiration, inspiration,
no one would trade her in,
cause she is her own saviour
and no one can ever take
her soul, not even a lover
for she saves herself
unlike any other.

© Sia Jane
924 · Mar 2014
fade into you
Sia Jane Mar 2014
her reclusive nature
was
stealing any words
of
inspirational longings
for
she waited for such
hope
of moving herself
to
a place where she
had
a muse that captured
her.

to write is to
free
to write is to
liberate
to write is to
communicate
emotions one cannot
name
the shrinks call it
alexithymia
a fully lost inability
to
form any connection to
oneself.

dizziness stirring a
self
who begins to
fear
waking up from a
deep
slumber in her
bed
than dying to be
taken
from a world she
so
dreads to exist
in.

she sits in the gutters of
despair
looking up to the
stars
they illuminate brightness
yet
the darkness is far
greater
than a single exploding
star
to pacify her emptiness
where
repetition of existence
overflows.

© Sia Jane
912 · May 2014
Soul (not) for sale
Sia Jane May 2014
Soul not for sale
(sang to me)
No closing escrow
(renters may inquire)
Fostering a new neighbour
(a God to play with Lucifer)
A reckless promiscuity
(hands tied to a bed)
Other lovers pass through
(a medium of the wounded)
Broken down beings
(lost to the devil)
Respecting the community
(falling like flies)

Suffer
          Suffer
                    Suffer

    ­                           Pleading
                Pleading
Pleading


(there is no escape)
Dawn may break
(promising a new light)
Remaining the same
(ground hog day)

She's still tied to that same bed.


© Sia Jane
908 · Sep 2013
All That Glitters
Sia Jane Sep 2013
My mum she always told me I was akin to
a butterfly
She described me as an electric blue that matched
my eyes
One that no one can miss or go unnoticed yet one
who flew
In a way that meant she was spotted and seen
never observed
Fleeting passive outgrown unlived her soul that soared in
spiralled loops
Never let her go they cried out as a child for she will only ever
run away
Each flinch of her wings each momentary rest she knew time only
chased her
So she flew escaped wandered endless continents with each breath
new life
But never forget the old proverb; all that is gold does not glitter
and essentially
Not all those who wander are lost
Because I am not lost, I just found my wings that were all at once clipped
when young.

© Sia Jane
906 · May 2014
Burn (til it hurts)
Sia Jane May 2014
Lullabies no longer soothe,
The voices hiding,
Behind the many masks,
You've torn and tugged,
From me.

Empty bodies fuelled,
By self-masochism,
In truth the,
Hurting pleases,
One hit, two hit, fall.

The hurting pain,
Remedies,
A life time,
Of escalating,
Misery, woe is me.

It isn't a lie,
To wish for a,
Deadly game,
Of cross your heart,
Oh hoping to die.

Lost selves,
Blanket tears cried,
Telling tales of,
Kisses with,
Fists.

Rendering love,
Better than none,
Crazy, bitter,
Mind so,
Benign.

Those trusted few,
Never would they,
Have knew, how that,
Wind,
Howled,
And
Blew.

Shattered.

A
Million
Little
Pie­ces.

© Sia Jane
905 · Jul 2014
Baby Dancer
Sia Jane Jul 2014
She was always a sad girl,
I often think she was born sad,
You know, right from the start,
Right from day one,
Before the world,
&
Its cruelty,
Even made a mark on her purified soul.

Her eyes as wide
&
Lingering as an everlasting look.

It was as though,
Her sorcerer magic bestowed on,
By Kings
&
Queens of a heavenly realm,
Were too much for this world;
Indeed,
That her very first cry,
Signifying life,
Was too much.

She perhaps,
Indeed,
Was too much,
For this world.

© Sia Jane
For original sketch and words see;
https://m.facebook.com/Siajanewords?refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2F&_rdr

Thanks guys ***
905 · Oct 2014
The Human Stain
Sia Jane Oct 2014
Written confessions of
Mundane avocations
Briefed & circled
Arrived bestowed
Swarming enemies
Cold wars
Doubled edged swords
Printed masks
Dust covered skin
Stretched over
Bones too big
Forms too estranged
Rips tear
Skin laid bare
How can thee compare
The glare blank stare
A body separated
From soul of self
Placed upon thy shelf
A heart burried
Planted below, feet
How they bellow
Silent screams
Muted voices
A lover of past
Reunited at last
The aortic pump
A mere *****
Beating throbbing
In her grasp
Claimed
Oh
How she dared claim
That sordid past.
And the other
She took the body
Both sufficed.
Two different stories
Questions, acquisitions
No confabulations
As to where art tho soul!

Notably, it is said;
The body is merely dust & stone
Bone & chrome
Plastic, catastrophic,
The heart, oh thy heart
No longer gaping
Lonely & pulsating
She stole thee heart
Oh she stole thee heart
His heart
Without even firing a dart.


The other, the wife
Filled with rife, strife
Burying those old bones
Of his,
Of his,
Six feet under
Covered
In
Gravel & sand
Mud & land
Spit on his grave
For at least
She can bury such resentment
For she,
The other
Stole his heart, broke her heart
Not once!
But twice.
Will that ever even suffice!
Two women at war,
One man
Oh he,
He is now dead!

© Sia Jane
It's 01.49am
My mind...
904 · May 2015
Coffee mornings
Sia Jane May 2015
I remember overhearing at the tennis game
  "I always take painkillers, I can't seem to get
                 the doctor to prescribe anything else
            and I never sleep, and so with my morning
              coffee, I slip some liquor in it
                      and take some Anadin, as simple as that."
      I sat and listened. Just in earshot.
            "It just calms me down and sets me off for the day."
              I see her take out a flask.
               Opening the lid she breathes in.
             "And days like this," she giggles.
         "I bring extra."
     Both the women now giggle
             I smile
              maybe this will work for me.

                    That night I went home and straight
                       to the medicine cabinet
                they sold paracetamol in tubs of hundreds
                   I was only 14
                   I'd only take a handful at a time
         not enough to harm me
                    little enough to go unnoticed
                         I felt the rush even before I took them
                         I still have the journal from that time
                   an off-balance teenager who never fit in
                         a longing for freedom so deep
                      maybe this could give me the wings
                             to fly.

© Sia Jane
More typewriter words. Format is how the typewriter print is and can be seen IG: thelunazine or FB: siajanewords
896 · Mar 2014
Unquiet
Sia Jane Mar 2014
Punctured, she remains bruised.
Looking left, the back of her hand
She begins, to remember that day.
It began with the box, old shoes
Nestled within, lay the excess meds.
It wasn't planned, she was certain.
Sitting on the bathroom floor, she opens
A cupboard where, the box kept
A thousand magic smarties, pink.
They were sugar coated, laughing
She thought about how, her heart
Her very soul, its sadness
So often wrapped a bow around,
Her hurt & pain, beneath the skin,
The surface, oh such depths of despair.
No one ever knew, the girl behind,
A red ruby lipped smile.
She took the box, a chipped mug
Drinking morning tea, phone quiet
This was 2010, pre iPhone for her
She simply text and dialled, hello.
Without any force, she started to count
One, two, three, as easy as,
This cup of tea beside her thigh,
No thoughts raced, no fixed grounding
Just the addiction to take one more.
And as the pills, rattled,
She began to feel the rattle within.
Handfuls, of the very drug
That was intended, to calm her
In these moments,
And yet,
She was calm, and she doesn't recall
A single tear.
Regular lunch break checks,
Mother and father calling,
A call to a psychiatrist, busy in clinic.
It wasn't a cry, it was to ask,
Why should I stop Jaya?
Mothers maybe know too much
And as quickly as I put,
The phone down, it rings.
By this point I'm sedated, uncompromising and incomprehensible,
I am told I slurred and denied all.
I recall a panicked voice and a mother,
Refusing to put the phone down.
I remember a bang on the front door.
I remember a black Ralph Lauren t'shirt,
My brothers.
And it's all I wore.
Knickers and a t'shirt.
I cowered in a corner of the hall,
Medics and police, and I'm terrified.
A blank search in my brain.
I go into a coma and my only memory is,
Waking in a distant place, plugged up
Machines and monitors beeping
And the soft gentle voice of,
My mother; Rachel!
Her hand so warm,
having held mine all the time,,
I took residence in this,
Hospital
Bed.

I'm alive.

© Sia Jane
I can't sleep so I do apologise of this is disjointed! I'm also on my phone!
896 · Sep 2013
Namasté
Sia Jane Sep 2013
She caresses the gentle nature
that surrounds her
and her own quintessential
beauty.

As the incense lights her soft
hands slowly create
a gentle breeze around the
space.

The hollowed out tree has formed
a type of beating heart to protect
the soul she encloses within its
home.

Saying a prayer, gently closing her
hands, brown eyes out of sight
it is unbeknown as to what she
prays.

Her feet patter out of temple doors
as though she is making love to
her thoughts prayers wishes hopes
fears.

I smile in her direction, bowing my
head, with hands clapped together
the exchange occurs in peace.
"namasté."

© Sia Jane
885 · Mar 2014
Reunion
Sia Jane Mar 2014
You are not the first,
I loved,
Or even maybe
The last,
(I lie, you're the one)

I want your heart,
To capture,
Your soul, such
Sweet rapture,
(I swear, you can trust in me)

I wait in the spaces,
Distances between,
Land & sea, left
Caged unfree,
(I promise, you set me free)

Maybe we once met,
Birthday parties,
Smiling & laughing, kids
Skating parks,
(Remember how you saved me)

You sent me a smile,
Guiding me,
Holding my hand, you
Lifted me,
(Did I even thank you)

Always admiring your,
Relentless determination,
A mere stranger, who
You loved,
(I love you more)

I know this is past,
Imagined insane,
Know you now, my
Clambering mind,
(Are you just a dream)

I fell in love with you,
First sight,
No turning back, a
Massive attack,
(Did we meet at another time)

To find you back in,
My sight,
That first night, a
Drawing mind,
(Dreamscape, dreamscape, dreamscape)

You are all that I,
Dream of,
Every single night, when
You're quiet,
(Let it be, let it be, let it be)

You are all that matters to me,
as honest as the words I type,
sing,
or write.
I don't ever want to see,
you out of sight.
You seem so familiar,
a stranger set alight,
I see from afar,
someone known in flight.

© Sia Jane
"Wanderlust" by Sia Jane Lloyd available via all Amazon stores

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Wanderlust-she-travels-her-mind/dp/1492952346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid;=1392582925&sr;=8-1&keywords;=sia+jane+lloyd

Also visit:
www.facebook.com/Siajanewords
siajanewords.blogspot.co.uk
884 · Sep 2013
By the shore she waits
Sia Jane Sep 2013
She wraps her claws around me
An embrace I cannot resist
She has taken my heart soul mind
I'm trapped under & below her spell
Without recognition from her
I fall at her feet

Her beauty indescribable
Her heart as open as ocean waves
Hitting the shore & returning
Always in due course
Leaving me awaiting the touch
Of merely just a taste of water

She leaves with unspoken undertones
A beating empty heart left behind
Only desiring the sound of her voice
So tall strong, wrapped around me tight
Thinking she's the one to borrow the heart
Behind these blue eyes baby loved

Open to love, carrying a trusted heart
On the sleeves of her dress beaded close
Her offer awaits, her silent cries hope
For her heart, not voice, to be heard
By the one she has fallen
Under the spell of

© Sia Jane
870 · Jan 2016
Home's Song
Sia Jane Jan 2016
Only yesterday, you stood before me.
You watched me a while,
           you saved me last night you say.
We begin talking about the thunderstorms
you saved me last night you say,
          you’re repeating yourself again.
That was yesterday I say,
but you keep saying you saved me last night
           studying me intently your eyes fill;
a storm drain overflowing with rain,
the tidal wave in your stomach kept rising;
            I would have drowned without you there-
you’d think I was the equivalent of coming
up for air.
           You’re more than the oxygen I breathe
you say, coming closer to me.
You’re my sun.
            I want to tell you I’m afraid of my
darkness.
But I can’t say it out loud to you.
You see dearest, I can’t take my limbs apart like you
            I’ve forgotten how to sew myself
back together.
All my emotions, are held
in a nest between rib bones; rib bones broken
            in the fight endured trying to get
the world to love me. Yours, is a heart awaiting
for the blooming of flowers, which follow a winter
           of freezing now pining to thaw.
Tears surge down your cheeks –
they’re forming pools of salt water
           between your *******.
Only yesterday, you stood before me.
You taught me to dance, your elegant body
           telling stories.
Night was drawing closer, and out the window
I can see another storm is approaching.
           I was a child born in a thunderstorm,
you say. The first night we met, you told me
you are the eye of all my storms. The calm centre
            keeping me grounded. You saved me
last night
you say again.
No baby I say, you save yourself every time.
You’re not the monster
           you think yourself to be.


© Sia Jane
865 · May 2015
Ciel
Sia Jane May 2015
The sand swirled around her bare feet and she closed her eyes
shards of lava nestled in her skin, forming a shield
indigo shells catching light as a sun sets in the reflection
the moon rises in the east as the sun blazes orange
clouds chasing one another like puffs of smoke rising from a fire
is that us my love? is the fading of a day the love you had
letting go
letting go
letting go
is that us my love? are we losing, are we losing, are we lost?

© Sia Jane
Typewriter series <3
864 · May 2015
Sorrow
Sia Jane May 2015
My Body no longer yours
I rescued it
along with Soul, Sanity & Love

I see you burning
in the smoke of your own fire

I hear you howl
as the wind carries your voice

a whirlwind of chaos
chasing me

words forming tornados in the gravel
        
the path from your home
morphs into my Body

I smell the gasoline residing beneath
my clipped fingernails

the ether spills
a volcanic eruption

forging through the Garden of Sorrow
so named for all that is lost there

But before I left I was sure to uncover
Love – taking a shovel to claim
the remnants of a diseased heart

I dug up Sanity – some speak of keeping
Insanity as a friend, but not me
I’ve had enough madness

And I took back my Soul
the thing you’d hidden so deep, like digging
for diamonds – the rarest type

Blood diamonds – each formed
for every life
you stole.

© Sia Jane
Typewriter series <3
858 · Feb 2015
Factory Girl
Sia Jane Feb 2015
“I’m in love with everyone I’ve ever met in one way or another.
I’m just a crazy, unhinged disaster of a human being.”*

Edie Sedgwick

---

                                                  ­                               I am the undone woman,
                                                                ­      mistaking myself
                                                          ­                      for the girl,
                                                                ­               others always see,
                                                            ­                  even at the call of my name
I most often, walk away

                                                           ­                       I rise & fall with the tides
                                                           ­                       standing in the abyss
                                                           ­                      shedding tear drops alone
                                                           ­                      gazing at black skies;
a full snow moon

I am a piece of the sky
a jigsaw puzzle
completing this Universe
I too inhabit

I am the cracked mirror
shattered pieces;
seven years bad luck
but as the cat,
I have nine lives
of counter attack

I am all the lovers
who pass through me
caresses that have graced
my inner thigh, the ecstasy
we reach simultaneously
during the love we make



In the absence of another
pieces of myself dilute,
I only know myself
by the ink I bleed
as I write these words
you read.

I am your canvas,
a picture book
coloured outside the lines
you call me your art

&, when,
the coffin door
closes shut,
you will know
I am nothing more,
than a Factory Girl,
misidentified as;
a thousand forms of fear.

© Sia Jane
857 · Jan 2015
I, Insomniac
Sia Jane Jan 2015
Insomnia,
Once again we meet, I've grown accustomed to your nightly *******; a dangerous liaison in those early hours.
It's 5 o'clock in the morning, I'm tired
worn
withdrawn
the monotony of daily embargoes; assaults on my mind.

Insomnia,
You're beside me now smiling, so tainted with desire, laying beside me; skin as pale as ghost walkers of the night.
Your demonic shadow need not accompany me, stealing hours of wakeful sleep.
You're no lover to me.

"Don't you see me," you smirk.
"Of course I do," I retort.

You begin to justle with rage, splashed sanguine, green with envy. Toiled & troubled; you know day is breaking, you fear the light.

"I missed you last..." you pause...
"Oh,  you're going to give me the silent treatment? Okay, I'll just answer for you... 'I always miss my baby, every night you're absent, I know I can't live without you'.."

I turn away, tears in my eyes...

sleep sleep sleep sleep sleep

Insomnia,
You're my demon of the night. I fear how far you will bring me to my knees; begging on another star - already dead no dreams will become - for strength, hope, love.

Insomnia,
I call you my dangerous liaison, I still cling to you -
friend & foe
absent lover
lost addiction...

You keep me so deep,
                                      in love with you.

© Sia Jane
856 · Sep 2014
Power play
Sia Jane Sep 2014
You're just like
All those
Who came
Before.
Only needing me
Because you like to keep
Me pretty; & you always
Said, a repeated voice
In my head;
"You're pretty when you cry."
Smeared make up
Mascara; black shaped
Tear drops,
You'd wipe
From the pink
Blushed cheeks
You so loved to
Kiss, oh what such
Appeal;
My weaknesses
Broke me down.
Exploiting me
Was the high
A drug, in the past
Enticed.
Kissing your lips,
I bite;
My mark remained
In the groan of pain.
Pleasure arching,
Your back.
A kiss,
A slap,
Power or glory,
You repeated
The same old
Story.

© Sia Jane
856 · Feb 2015
Drama
Sia Jane Feb 2015
Tears drown out the actors fears
the final curtain closing, no encore

an audience rises like flames
from fire burned seats

they demand more of the play
they cannot clap, for
with only one hand
no sound can be heard

so, as tears form seas,
the waves instead
form an applause
they clan & crash,
hitting sand bagged shoes

the actors hear the clambering feet
as audiences trudge through water
from theatre seats to vestibule
fleeing tidal storms which chase,
from the inside to the outside

the stage stands isolated
an island amidst wreckage

languishing ebony ceilings
crystal chandeliers shatter

the actors race to front stage
take a bow with a final goodbye

& sink into the solitude
of a vast ocean of pain.

© Sia Jane
855 · Sep 2014
Linger
Sia Jane Sep 2014
I sit, my legs knotted
Matching, an esophagus
Paralyzed, affecting vocal cords,
Twisted, ripped, torn.
An attacked heart,
Damaged, dying.
And you hit me,
With what was once,
A caress, a stroke,
An attack of,
Equal force, to the,
Mind,
My brain paralyzed.
A mute child
Wrapped cashmere self,
Always, those nails, red,
Chipped.
The polish fragments,
Breaking ,
pieces
pieces
pieces
Cracks appearing,
Dispersing, remnants,
Of what once,
Was, whole.
A voice, a self, a soul,
That did not need,
to be made,
undone.
For I left,
you,
A place, a space,
A dwelling hole,
Where your lips,
Had once,
Given colour to,
The china cups,
With their lingering smell,
Of Jasmine,
Thé vert à la rose.
As,
Tea stains,
Sojourn memories,
Leave their mark.
A day of remembrance,
Prominence given, to,
That moment,
You, left.

© Sia Jane
853 · Dec 2013
rapture, by her
Sia Jane Dec 2013
I write because
you
inspire my voice
inspire my words

Sitting with legs curled
under cushions covering chairs
the sound of crickets

The goddess statues
turning and smiling
waving and moving
hallucinate

Glancing to the side
lights flicker through
burning candle light
fire

I never wanted for the
hopeless romantic in me
to fall in love so easily
seduced

Daily I would wonder
about
her holding me tight
her embrace
release

Maybe it was the words said
or days I would spend
my time wondering of
her

Maybe a place from home
inspired my spirit
enlightened my heart
beating

Happiness was no longer
a temporary state but
induced by every thought
I would have of
her

It's always about
her
she has become everything
nothing less

I sip my wine
I remember I'm in
love
Nothing can fight this
nothing will lose this
rapture

Her.

© Sia Jane

---

COME, BE WITH ME. SIT WITH ME AT MY TABLE; JOIN ME IN RAPTURE. AND BRING YOUR CUTE FRIEND TOO.”
― Daniel Keidl
849 · Aug 2013
Dream On
Sia Jane Aug 2013
She was told from
an age so young
that she indeed possessed all
the magic she needed
within herself
to set
the worlds
to right.

She placed daisies in
her long black hair
and skipped to the beat of her
own made songs she sang to
herself each
and every
day she
was alive.

She was often alone
rarely with friends as
she found comfort in the faeries
she spoke and sang to while
the swing
blew her
hair in
her face.

She giggled when with her
only little sister to whom
she adored more than
each breath she took
each and
every day
even more.

She stood firm at home
never allowing her fathers
drunken words of pain
penetrate her self made wall
of anger, hatred and despair
inside her
mind there
stood angels.

She closed her eyes at night
wishing the demons to
disperse into the heavy winds
that howled through the rafters
reminding her
she was
infact alive.

© Sia Jane
848 · Jul 2013
Wild Thing
Sia Jane Jul 2013
It's 4.02am
the usual numbers
flicker on the screen
as I stare
and wonder
clock watching
it becomes an
old habit
a creature of such.

4.03am
glancing at the
time as my
battery dies slowly
it slips away
in the same vein
as my mind that
was lost back in
adolescence on a
sleepless night as I
counted the stars in
the blacked out sky.

4.06am
my mind is alive
fireworks are kicking
to come alight in the
last few moments
before dawn breaks
across the moors and
over the cattle that
fill the fields around me.

4.07am
adverts scream from
the television that
keeps me company
into the hours that
pass surprisingly quickly
which always unsettles
me.

4.08am
am I still real or have I
turned into a nocturnal
varmint of sorts as the
animals and freaks all
come out
at night.

4.12am
I see dusk and dawn
midnight and noon
curtains drawn
my head
falls onto
the pillow as I
hope only
to
sleep.

© Sia Jane
typo heaven, I do apologize. I am exhausted.
844 · Oct 2013
a day dream
Sia Jane Oct 2013
Escaping into fantasy, her mind is
at ease there,
she can remove the blunt knife of
reality, that endlessly stabs
her right in the back
repeatedly, no success, replacing its
blunted edges for something
real and sharp
blood pours
the deeper the red, the faster her feet
take her to her dream land
wonderland
freeland
freedom lies, in the swampy
depths of her mermaid life
fiction and fantasy, blur with a
softly tinted reality, pour another
know each sip, takes the edges
fades them, and pushes her further
to a place where no one or thing
can touch or reach or hurt her
in this place, she knows only
each and every dream, the lover she
so craves, to be realised, unfazed
it is safer here, for it is all she could


                                                        ­            literally,
                                                                ­                   dream for
                                                                ­                                     and more.

© Sia Jane
I had someone in mind, and wanted to write this for that person. Someone very special and close to my heart <3
839 · Jun 2014
Faerie tales
Sia Jane Jun 2014
They named her Chloé
delicately winged
an entity of
magical pretences.

She was a goddess of
mythical Greece
a child so bright
skipping below moonlight.

Wild children run
hibernate within
homes of trees
squirrels, birds, flight.

Summer comes to bloom
rose-printed butterflies
predicting destiny
of living as one.

A guest she became
an adopted soul
intense philosophies of
paths unknown.

Collected lies bring
anew misunderstanding
in her the ever
wandering romantic.

Tears filled a
blessing for the one
that would forever
set
her
free.

© Sia Jane
837 · Apr 2014
Wandering (lost)
Sia Jane Apr 2014
I often wonder, how long
We spend in, the past
Wandering lost, a space we
Know in all force, even rememberance
I stand, landscapes
With a chill, my spine
The hairs, stand on end
I remain lost, in you
A heart, hollowed
I hate that, I love you
Can't remember, to forget you
Grasped, chest restrained
Capacity for, ache of heart
An inner self, whispers
Let go, the logic of
A situation, shattered
Broken.

Can we fix a broken heart?
Can we forget and let live?
Can we wash blood off hands,
Guilty, convicted criminals?


I scream, I resemble Munch
Painted on canvas, scratching
With claws, red painted nails.

I can't deny
I still....

I'm in love
With
You.

forgive me for I have sinned
you are the inevitably

© Sia Jane
836 · Aug 2014
Stolen images
Sia Jane Aug 2014
I've always had,
a home,
four walls,
enclosing,
four souls.
Wars,
within me,
separated in a,
dream.
I see,
a vision,
a spirit,
a passing medium.
My body,
exorcized of,
the girl I once,
was.
Born sad eyed,
planets; Jupiter, Saturn,
global maps,
to the soul.
Reading me,
flickering pages,
spinning,
terrestrial globes,
as changing as,
each,
season.
Unsummoned thoughts,
strange gifts;
genius strikes,
but,
a few,

(so they say)

ones sought,
from,
a power so,
universal.
Where stars,
find,
a home
&
the moon,
laying,
it's head,
amidst a vast,
density of,
terrifying,
external lapsing,
clutching threads,
tied to earth.
Catching,
shooting stars I was,
always,
praying...
On anything I,
could,
hold.

© Sia Jane
832 · May 2014
Hollywood's Dead
Sia Jane May 2014
There ain't no comin' back,
                 you always fall too far,
Into abyss, never ever learning,
You ain't comin' back,
                 from being that bad,
Leavin' you tomorrow, a promise made,
                  yesterdays last glass,
Forgivin' by the mornin', you'll always,
                  get your wish,
Nothin' is gonna come & save you,
                  you told me this,
Now look at the bliss, broken man,
                  a shot & a miss,
A kiss with a prayer; thirst, hunger, flesh,
                 heart filled boxes,
Crossing lines, blurred, unhinged,
                 beauty queen quest,
Disaster honey, the finest catch,
                trust earned with just one touch,
***, lust, a sincere must for you,
                fill it, empty it out,
Waking sober, harrowing saint,
               throw back the bottle,
Ain't no angel saving you,
              smoke another puff,
Drag it out long,
               shadow seeking,
Dissipating in air,
              polluted landscapes.
The world ain't yours any more,
              lost; born to die young.


© Sia Jane
Sorry for the epic absence and the lack of reading etc I am just crazy busy right now. Miss you all and miss your works and writing <3
831 · Oct 2013
omission
Sia Jane Oct 2013
Missing someone is this
indescribably tormenting
and endlessly projecting
loneliness

It doesn't even make any
logical or empirical sense
because is an immeasurable
force

She reaches her arms out
like a young child trying
to grasp parental or sibling
love

Such missing occupies every
single crevice of her brain and
this hopeless romantic can't
let go

But secretly she likes the
missing and its accompanying
emotions because it means she is
feeling

Maybe even someone is
going to miss her the way
she misses them, wishing she was
there

To miss, is to
notice the loss or absence of
another, someone, something,
her

To miss, is to
miss her.
miss her.
miss her.

© Sia Jane
828 · Jan 2015
Lucky One(s)
Sia Jane Jan 2015
We are the lucky ones

Fated to a possible
Life on death row
Contradicting the notion

Of being the lucky ones
Who sing with joy
Weep with sorrow

A treasure trove
Within our souls
Another day digging

Deeper deeper
Chakra chakra
Om shanti om


Pain brings forth
A contact with an
Angelic realm so

Rejected by those
Cynics who chase
A life of ego

Surrendering will I
Chose to walk alone
Blind faith, blind folded

I fell and fell
The bruises swelled
I dusted off

Pulled up those
Pretty baby girl
Pink socks

And when I fell again
I was caught
The light too bright

For me to see
The truth so
Setting me free

Closing my eyes
I could finally see
The truth in me;
My light is never too bright,
I shine most in the dark...

And it is then
my soul
calls for
me.

© Sia Jane
I just typed this up following my meditation group...
This is dedicated to them.
I am one of those lucky ones.
I am truly blessed.
I adore you all.
827 · Dec 2014
Avant Nous
Sia Jane Dec 2014
"Avant nous,
D'autres amants ont dit : "Je t'aime."
Comme nous...
Avant nous,
D'autres ont souffert, ont trahi même"*

Edith Piaf

---

You presented the evidence
Cards filled the table
Jack, King, Queen
You even threw
The Joker.

I laughed at your attempts
To pacify a self you so
Resolutely dismissed until
You realised I'd actually
Gone.

Profanities crossed
Across the desk separating us
And you owned your side
Dispersing blood on
Your hands.

I sat still with a snigger
A stare in my eye so wild
You feared my retort
A riposte shedding your
Ego.

My final offering
Twisting the knife
Plundered into my back
Before this poker game
Even began.

I remained silent
As you screeched
My own voodoo doll
With pleasure I watched your
Pain.

   © Sia Jane
819 · Dec 2014
La Belle et La Bête
Sia Jane Dec 2014
La Belle et La Bête

The Parisian Review lit a candle that night,
They honoured a granting to all those
On French soil, who among other things,
Disturbed & desiccated passions
Of those who were not perturbed by noises
Around those endured in flight seeking sanction.

She remained gracious as she walked
The Champs‑Élysées carrying platinum gold soul,
For it was July 14th, Bastille Day
A paradise for those lost heroes so named; Elysian Fields
But today wasn't a war of Gods & monsters,
She was la belle mademoiselle du jour on perfected streets
Louis Vuitton, Cartier, Hôtel de la Païva; 8th arrondissement of Paris.

He strolled, a dignified approach
To the woman of memory
So pained by his misgivings,
So chosen,
                   So forgiven,
                                         So loved
Today, she chose to forget,
To forsake,
To only know,
                       To love
To love, to love, him.

© Sia Jane
814 · Jul 2014
Embodiment of Love
Sia Jane Jul 2014
I was going to write you a letter
For each day I missed you,
I realised I'd miss you for infinity,
And how cruel on nature
It would be to leave,
Not even one tree standing.
So, I planted a seed and
A symmetrical flower garden
Around a sculptured tree.
Her bodied form held souls
And sorrows,
And as long as my heart missed
You,
She promised to grow
And grow.
She promised me for infinity,
It's the only time span
I'll ever know, for you.

© Sia Jane
Hey guys, as I'm away I've been sketching and writing words to compliment them and I can't add piccie here but they can be seen only FB page :) I miss you all and look forward to catching up soon :)
811 · Apr 2014
For I, shall haunt
Sia Jane Apr 2014
Divided we fall, the river runs rapids,
Caged, controlled, a dichotomy,
It's inner wave of rebellion and force,
For it shall not be tamed and I shall,
Not surrender for this greater good,
Of refusing my wandering or wondering,
For shall I not chase of death,
I shall wander, alone if need be,
For as these falls pour and sprout,
Crinkle and cut water edges, stones and brick,
As they endure, I too shall endure, for I am as mighty as any force of nature,
Any greater than any curse bestowed on me,
For I may not be omnipotent or a caped crusader,
I may at once be Jekyll and then be Hyde,
I may be the worst of times or the best of times,
I may render myself insignificant or seek a grandiose in my stare,
I'm the human, monsters are within me,
Neither me nor thee may see them or fear them,
For I, for I, for I
Am your biggest nightmare for all the world to see,
Majestical and free, I shall always haunt thee.

© Sia Jane
809 · Nov 2013
family ties
Sia Jane Nov 2013
Lost boy, parental fears
Where will he go, will he try
To be where the sky ends
Or will he simply fade
As they so fear.

Hear this music, listen to what
Goes on for him in these lyrics
They tell the story of his heart
Tears fill, his broken heart
Purging feelings through salt water tears.

The pain is washed out
Misunderstood, abandoned, alone
Heroic front, brotherly responsibilities
Big man of the house
Father away, managing life a different way.

Two children, run free
Escaping through stories
The written word, pen to paper
Hand written, dictated by those
Who sing through the radio and television.

Make believe, faery tales
A brother cradles his younger sister
He sings a lullaby he once was
Sang to himself as a young boy
As she giggles and laughs closing her eyes.

A house is never a home
Unless love is painted over the walls
Home has a heartbeat, every step
Inside every room, a smile lights
Filled with dreams, love and hope.

A family is a unit, connected at
Each and every portal, never undone
Whether a war rages in each of their minds
Together they will unite
Regardless as to whether blood is thicker than water.

© Sia Jane
808 · Oct 2013
heart(beat)
Sia Jane Oct 2013
Her heart is an
empty concave space
with nothing beating or
pumping
it's not red with blood and
vessels
instead it's in the palm of
her hand
pale and shrunken
and as much as she
wants it to pump
there's no energy to even
be herself
let alone
save her heart

© Sia Jane
805 · Mar 2015
Indigo child
Sia Jane Mar 2015
Indigo child

The illuminating Full Moon
shone too brightly on me
that first night, smudge stick
in hand, I set fire to sage
spreading wafts of smoke
unblocking a channel
choked from God

Enlightenment brought forth,
by shadows the moon cast
a harmonious stillness
the only sound,
a deep residing -

Ommmmmm

An echo forms in my chest
the grounding element of
a simple mantra
teaching me lessons of
how I am a
Child of the Universe...

Within me, sits
the moon & all the stars
&, at peace I find myself

Aham Brahmasmi

Namasté

© Sia Jane
"Aham Brahmasmi" is Sanskrit for "I am the Universe" in meditation.

I'm going to try to get some reading in this weekend. I miss all your work ❤️
802 · Feb 2014
Body Electric
Sia Jane Feb 2014
My skies were littered with,
Darkness, a bellowing cloud
Always dragging me up
To sit with him in thunder
And rain, not a rainbow or
Even cloud nine.

My body used to itch,
I'd scratch it raw until
Blood pooled around my
Back, face, wrist, scalp,
Until satisfied my feels, with
Pain and anguish, self inflicted.

I sat with that sharp razor,
Knives that had been, in
Kitchen draws so long, that
When I lift my shirt, dragging
Them across pale skin, nothing
Oozed, and the darkness stayed.

The knives were blunt, from
All the times I'd been stabbed,
Even butchered, by others betrayal,
And I never believed I could
Find a beloved who knows me,
The way you do, loving you.

Yet here I sit, a heart that,
Breaks, aches, and yet beats,
A lifetime of feeling, dancing
All night, remembering,
I will,
Love you,
Until the end
of
time.

© Sia Jane

---

I have perceiv’d that to be with those I like is enough,
To stop in company with the rest at evening is enough,
To be surrounded by beautiful, curious, breathing, laughing flesh is enough,
To pass among them or touch any one, or rest my arm ever so lightly round his or her neck for a moment, what is this then?
I do not ask any more delight, I swim in it as in a sea.


-Walt  Whitman
800 · Apr 2016
Girl Undone
Sia Jane Apr 2016
I feel so stitched together, like a rag doll -
not one worn down from being loved too much,
but one who has been ripped apart by loving too much.
And each lover picked me apart stitch by stitch – undone.
Then I’m left in threads: I am fully exposed.
How can that be, after spending years –many more all told –
sewing myself back together, my needle and thread fighting
to keep up. I naively trusted each lover when they promised
to mend me. What if someone had told me twenty years ago:
If you fall in love, never fully trust them, and ask yourself –
does he love me more?
I didn’t know then, I wasn’t so undone –
I could have stayed together.

© Sia Jane
Love you guys <3 Thanks for everything <3
799 · Jul 2014
Sacred Heart
Sia Jane Jul 2014
Shhhh don't say a word,
You must remain unspoken, unheard, mute,
Red lipstick, blood painted nails,
As hidden as a veil,
Of love locked smiles,
Tears within,
Laughter a spinning enduring sin.

Fake it, make it, clambering in,
Never will you escape it.

Distance draws nearer,
Hearing voices harder.

Your silence resounds,
In the empty hollows,
Of a lost lovers tunnel.

Bridges need building,
To ensure,
The two,
Are not lost, in oceans apart,
But brought together,
By rapid crashing waves,
A lovers ship-to-shore call,
Saved love forborne.

© Sia Jane
For original sketch and words see;
https://m.facebook.com/Siajanewords?refsrc=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.google.co.uk%2F&_rdr

Thanks guys ***
Next page