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The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.

Deserted like the dwarves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!

Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.

In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.

You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!

It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.

Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!

In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!

I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.

Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.

There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.

There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.

Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!

How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.

Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.

Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.

Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.

And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.

This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!

Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!

From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.

You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.

Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.

The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.

Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.

It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!
**** caked eyes scraped open
New, tasting fresh breeze of
Some amateur mahayana meditation
I scan the room
There is a painting of a moon with
A clock's face
And a wounded bull of spain
Running through a prairie
Running home
The oil paint bursts in brilliant
Cold blues
I think,
What is this?
What is this?
Then there is a cockroach running
Wildly
Across the linoleum
I smash its head like
Bluebird egg
It's legs are kicking and it
Rotates in a small circle
Around a mess of eyes, mouth,
Antennae
The suffering in this world is
Tremendous
I finish it off
And feel instant disgust
In myself
And all of you.
 Oct 2016 Shadi El Asaad
Hayleigh
She was an unquenchable thirst.
 Oct 2016 Shadi El Asaad
JP
She rejected me
an awareness
the day..... I saw her
her beauty
her grace
her humbleness
a desire arises
to possess her
Why???
Coz am so good
can keep her happy
this is how?... my mind interpreted
But
her heart doesn't know the logic
.... ........
In love
her heart refuse to see
what my mind conceived...
Longing for an answer,
Knowing it won't come,
I beg for God's mercy.

I scream "Who are you!"
With no reason to cry,
I feel tears on my cheek.

"Today's the day" She says.
Sounds like a melody,
played by an old violin.

Metallic, dense, and rusty.
Like smoke from a foundry.
Rumbling about, back and forth.
You, can never be taught.
Sleeping still, not with this beeping bill.

'Beep beep beep!' your alarm quacks
"Shut your mouth" you thaw from slumber.

Smashing it down, thrashing it to the ground, time to mell under your sheets.
"*******.."
Barney backpack,
Cowboy Boots,
Little tow-head
boy.

Tasseled  hat,
Winners robe,
Fine young
man.


Issued backpack,
Army boots,
Future straight
ahead.

I'll be okay when
you leave, Then cry
when I can.
Upon dead limb the
the vultures sit.

Waiting the wolf
his fill.

Necks twisted,
Wings flattened,

Ready to clean
the bones.
So many questions, so many tales and stories they tell.
Plenty speak. Any, will listen.

But not all do. But they do not know the true.
Your true intentions.
Your true thoughts.
Your true nature.
Your true heart.

For they can not hear, for they do not listen.
All they hear is their own,
*voice
In Mama's life her only worry,
Should be if she's at home in time to watch her story.

Not bills paid, money owed, or if she can make it.
There's a big diffrence between "Borrow it" and "Take it"

Worries that she'll break a bone from the meds she can't afford.
Part D is joke, Ain't that what Medicare is for?

And If they did pay cash, What would happen to the Horde?

The old man, He's still working, just to feed the tribe.
Wondering if he quits will the others stay alive?

Never used to worry if the sky turned into gray.
Now wondering what he'll do if it were to rains for days.

The tribe they don't care, I don't think they even wonder,
Just who is gonna feed them once the bank is 6 feet under?
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