Crying—
a place I return to more often than I should,
where joy feels like a mirage,
something I chase in hopes it might be true.

Kindness spills from me unchecked,
I feel  and care too deeply, it weighs too much inside my chest.
Here is where silence might serve me better, but I never seem to learn.

I thought I found you.
Truly.
The safety your embrace gave me,
was more than I had ever known.
It frightened me
so warm, so sudden and yet I do not want to let you go.

"This is a dream," I whispered.
Biting my hand to check
Because time is fleeting,
and happiness is something I always seem to chase.

I want you to stay.
But I can’t force you, love.
This feeling is new—
not the echo of a love I once knew,
but something deeper,
something terrifyingly beautiful and also something im scared to look in full view.

Now tears fall freely
as I write these lines that make little sense,
but how can I hide what you make me feel -
especially now that I know you feel the same way.

I carry baggage, a heavy one it's true but these are wounds I cannot drop.
They're mine and shaped me.
And even with them,
I still want to be enough.

I know you know, I want you to stay.
But if I must let you go,
I fear I’ll break.

I would plead,
but that would be unfair—
to you,
to me,
to the love I fear I wont be able to fully give.