I mostly am stuck in the depths of my own head
but I would much rather be in yours, instead

he takes me, something so tarnished and broken and makes me feel complete

if only for a moment, i go from being an ashen speck of coal to being a pearl

and when i sleep my pillows are his arms, oyster shells and i gleam in my dreams in the mirror of his very essence,

i speak with confidence but he knows i falter, a tight rope artist clinging to the rope for dear life, watching the world beneath me constantly destroy and rebuild itself, as i try and fail to regain composure

and although many thoughts have yet to leave my tongue, he knows i believe

that i am not capable of being loved,

but still when i close my eyes his rose petal lips find my ears

and whisper sweet nothings

until awake fades to sleep, and sleeping fades to dreaming

my veins started to feel like tangled up coils of thread that thawed and lacerated as the cold came and left

clip my iridescent wings
strip me like saturn without
her rings

these pills have me so
reticent
but I never lied when had I said
that I was spent
my porcelain lips part like a butterfly

and my words pour out and

cut like silver kitchen knives

my problems fogged up

and spilled through these vents

but I never lied when I had said

that I was spent

the night is dark and relentless

and unforgiving and for a moment

I almost hate myself for painting myself

back into this starless black abyss

I beg for the moon to kiss my hollow cheek

but she is gone, hidden away and angry with me

I cry and howl, my mane gone along with

the stars with no promise to return by the break of dawn

I whisper a remark:

it is so very dark

I am alone with nothing but the sound of my

pounding heartbeat in this sad ghost town

nothing can keep me warm, now

not even you or your arms

I am see-through

I am no longer safe from harm

as everything
freezes over and dies
a solitary gust of smoke
escapes my mouth
into frigid air and
I feel I am finally alive