Whatever this was
I knew the color wasn't that black
Rainbow came once,
The smile on my face can't be moved

But then, the glow fades
Darkness grew again
Burst into fire
The growth of the flames is within me

How can someone be this sad?
No one asked if rainbow is really a happy color
People just assumed
Like how most of us fake positivity

When will that day come?
When hurt is no more
All colors are neutral
Happiness is within

I can't wait 'til that day comes
Where I can finally say
Black is a good thing,
In order to appreciate the new color

I once wrote your name
                  full of admiration and flame.

"Moon,
carrying the weight of the night sky
on its own

If the moon doesn't light the sky
would people bother to look at the
Moon?"

— Jeon Jungkook

Everything happened in a snap
1, 2, 3 as I count,
tears suddenly froze.
Time; how can you count time?
Overthinking comes by, as this happened so abrupt.
What to do?
Instead, when will I feel contented?
When will everything sink in?

life
is so complicated
and simple
at the same time

life
will require you to do something,
yet require you to surrender
at the same time

life
will feel like surviving
and living
at the same time

life
is the ugliest,
yet the most beautiful thing
at the same time

maybe it's the adulting life that's slowly sinking in
maybe it's the harsh reality that makes anyone feel numb
or maybe it's just everyday that there's always a part that we need to be strong

but whatever it is,
whatever the world may throw,
or if everyone else is trying to bring anyone down,

I know that I will always have you,
and it's beyond unimaginable and surreal that you're patient with me,
that you still care for me,
and that you'll always be there,
in these tough times.

thank you for being with me.
I'm so glad you exist.

And I only wish you happiness, until we meet again.

"Why does it hurt, liking someone so much?"
"Because life is a give and take process. Once you only give, you'll end up having nothing, and the 'take' one, you'll miss it. Thinking why did you gave so much."

I asked Him for a sign
A sign to continue, a sign to not stop liking you
Or the vice versa
There's only an hour and thirty minutes left
For the sign to happen, or, sadly and unfortunately, not;
That sign, is the most unexpected sign that could happen
For it doesn't get to your interest
But, that's the purpose of signs isn't it?
That if it will happen, it will.
I maybe sad, or happy
When the clock will strike 12;
I created my own Cinderella story
But I'm the prince
Waiting for a miracle to happen
Standing by for the sign to occur
Will I be happy?
Or sadness will struck an arrow
That will take my smile away?

This is the first time I felt it.
It is an honor to feel the type of love that I craved.
A paradox of yearning the type of love that makes you breathe.
Unconditional.
Nezuko and Tanjiro.
Gojo and Geto.
This might be the last time I will feel it, too.

your eyes made the rainbow shine
I'm a witness of it
everytime you look at me
I'm engulfed by the mysteries
hidden behind those black brown eyes

I said to myself before
I won't let myself fall in your black void
keep reminding myself that I'm just bothered
but hey, your void is so strong
no power can help me not to descend

you're enchanting
the galaxies you bring
made the stars dance happily
I danced with the stars, too
but I don't know if I was happy for so long?

this is supposed to be a poem
but this turned out to be a letter
I... li y
I just want you to be happy
and I'm glad I've known you

""You like because, and you love despite."

Hi ----. I wanna start my Christmas greeting with that special quote above. The moment I start liking you, it was all of the "because." Because you're funny, because you make me happy in times I can't even raise my lips to form a smile, or because your jokes are on different level that my humor can't keep up. You are that guy whom anyone can be with and not feel any awkwardness at all. Everyone like you as you are, because of those "because's." But hey, here comes the second part of the quote: the moment when I started to love you and everything became a moment of "despite." I love you despite of our differences. I may be that girl who's weak and tender, and keeps that laughing face to protect her from hurting, and you may be that guy who doesn't care at anyone or anything, but I still love you. I love you despite of not being the guy that's my type. You're far from my type and I think you knew that. I love you despite of what you chose to be, and I'll still be here to support you whatever your choice will be.

Every moment I spent my day thinking and being with you, I get to know more about you. And the more I know about you, the more my love goes deeper for you. It's funny how God didn't gave me someone who's perfect, but someone whom I need and want. I want someone who doesn't smoke, He gave me you. I want someone who likes & cares about kids genuinely, He gave me you. I want someone who has compassion in everyone, He gave me you. He gave me someone who is not only just capable of being perfect for me, but also someone who's willing to take care of me regardless of whatever status we may be.

Merry Christmas. I will always be here, and when I say that, I mean it. I love you.

you with the sea,
who would've thought that,
it'll be a magical combination
no art could give

the serenity the sea reflects,
the peace my heart felt whenever I look at you,
problems disappear
a masterpiece is created

you with the sea,
I want to cry in pain
the beauty it portray
appreciation is not enough

sunsets, sunrise
could I ever see that scene again?
you with the sea
how enchanting that be

there are days where you just think blankly
think,
and wonder why certain things happen to people.
you wanna give up,
but at the same time you don't.
you're feeling hopeless,
but you're trying to look for something hopeful,
even if it's just a small thing.

I want to be gone,
but at the same time, I just want this to end.
we're all sad,
but there are times where we just crave to be happy.

Why have I forgotten this day?
This day was one of the happiest.
It made me happy, even just for hours.
The sunflower bloomed,
Looked up to the sky, smiled and said,
"I like how the sky always smile at me,
Like how problems disappear on its blue,
bright place..."

There were two roads.
We chose to walk on the right side,
Didn't know that there will be a cross road ahead
I'm too confident thinking that you will still choose the right side
And a sudden realization happen;
I was left alone,
Walking on the right side.

I heard a story one time,
A story I couldn't and wish not to forget.

There was a boy.
A small young boy, sensitive to what other feels,
A kind young boy who chooses to see the good out of everyone.
He's an innocent young boy who sees the world in a good sense.
One day, he was playing in a playground,
He saw an insect walking in the middle of it.
He and his friends were playing a game, and that game needs running.
He so badly wanted to protect the insect that he went directly to the insect.
He covered the insect with both of his hands, trying to protect it from the kids who are running.
The other kids saw what he did.
Never did he know he can influence other people that easily.
The other kids copied what he did, and covered him while he was covering the insect.
He knows the intentions of the kids were good.
He saw that the other kids just wanted to do what he was doing because he see the good in people.
But due to the weight of all the kids,
When he opened both of his hands where the insect can be found,
He saw the insect crushed and flat.
It broke his heart.
It broke his heart so much that he couldn't forget the story.

This boy that I'm talking about is now a man with job and responsibilities.
He still remembers clearly the time that his inner kid couldn't forget.
I could still see the inner kid in him, every single time we spent together.
I could still see the boy that protected the insect and had his heart broken because the insect died.
He's still the sensitive boy, hiding in a "have a strong heart" man.
He still gets his heart broken in the smallest things, hiding in a "I'm okay, I can do it."
I'm happy I witnessed both the boy and the man.
And I'm happy I get to experience to love this boy and this man.