Everything happened in a snap
1, 2, 3 as I count,
tears suddenly froze.
Time; how can you count time?
Overthinking comes by, as this happened so abrupt.
What to do?
Instead, when will I feel contented?
When will everything sink in?

I once wrote your name
                  full of admiration and flame.

"Moon,
carrying the weight of the night sky
on its own

If the moon doesn't light the sky
would people bother to look at the
Moon?"

— Jeon Jungkook

maybe it's the adulting life that's slowly sinking in
maybe it's the harsh reality that makes anyone feel numb
or maybe it's just everyday that there's always a part that we need to be strong

but whatever it is,
whatever the world may throw,
or if everyone else is trying to bring anyone down,

I know that I will always have you,
and it's beyond unimaginable and surreal that you're patient with me,
that you still care for me,
and that you'll always be there,
in these tough times.

thank you for being with me.
I'm so glad you exist.

I asked Him for a sign
A sign to continue, a sign to not stop liking you
Or the vice versa
There's only an hour and thirty minutes left
For the sign to happen, or, sadly and unfortunately, not;
That sign, is the most unexpected sign that could happen
For it doesn't get to your interest
But, that's the purpose of signs isn't it?
That if it will happen, it will.
I maybe sad, or happy
When the clock will strike 12;
I created my own Cinderella story
But I'm the prince
Waiting for a miracle to happen
Standing by for the sign to occur
Will I be happy?
Or sadness will struck an arrow
That will take my smile away?

"Why does it hurt, liking someone so much?"
"Because life is a give and take process. Once you only give, you'll end up having nothing, and the 'take' one, you'll miss it. Thinking why did you gave so much."

your eyes made the rainbow shine
I'm a witness of it
everytime you look at me
I'm engulfed by the mysteries
hidden behind those black brown eyes

I said to myself before
I won't let myself fall in your black void
keep reminding myself that I'm just bothered
but hey, your void is so strong
no power can help me not to descend

you're enchanting
the galaxies you bring
made the stars dance happily
I danced with the stars, too
but I don't know if I was happy for so long?

this is supposed to be a poem
but this turned out to be a letter
I... li y
I just want you to be happy
and I'm glad I've known you

And I only wish you happiness, until we meet again.

you with the sea,
who would've thought that,
it'll be a magical combination
no art could give

the serenity the sea reflects,
the peace my heart felt whenever I look at you,
problems disappear
a masterpiece is created

you with the sea,
I want to cry in pain
the beauty it portray
appreciation is not enough

sunsets, sunrise
could I ever see that scene again?
you with the sea
how enchanting that be

Why have I forgotten this day?
This day was one of the happiest.
It made me happy, even just for hours.
The sunflower bloomed,
Looked up to the sky, smiled and said,
"I like how the sky always smile at me,
Like how problems disappear on its blue,
bright place..."

You were the first one
That both my heart and mind can handle
Not too much of a cry
Not too much of a smile

You are the great example of average
My soul meets someone
That made it feel average
Yet contented

No strings attached, as the brain said
All strings attached, as the heart said
Ready as a warrior, ones heart
But weakling at the actual fight

Stop, the brain again proclaimed
Stop, protesting that this should not continue anymore
Stop, pleading as if whispering to the wounded

"You can't take it anymore,
Why did we even start this?" asked brain.

"I was happy at the beginning,
and it's all that it takes." heart answered.

That stare isn't supposed to be mine
Yet I caught it

I caught a glimpse of your galaxy
Trying to mix in with mine.
How can every galaxy in your eyes,
Pull my soul closer to those stars
The stars that makes you shine the brightest?

That stare,
That black hole have eaten me alive
Thank goodness, I was sane that time
Or else I might do something I will regret.

My heart is contented with that glimpse.
The glimpse that made every vein jump
The galaxy that made my body chill
The stare that made my whole being still.

there are days where you just think blankly
think,
and wonder why certain things happen to people.
you wanna give up,
but at the same time you don't.
you're feeling hopeless,
but you're trying to look for something hopeful,
even if it's just a small thing.

I want to be gone,
but at the same time, I just want this to end.
we're all sad,
but there are times where we just crave to be happy.

There were two roads.
We chose to walk on the right side,
Didn't know that there will be a cross road ahead
I'm too confident thinking that you will still choose the right side
And a sudden realization happen;
I was left alone,
Walking on the right side.

""You like because, and you love despite."

Hi ----. I wanna start my Christmas greeting with that special quote above. The moment I start liking you, it was all of the "because." Because you're funny, because you make me happy in times I can't even raise my lips to form a smile, or because your jokes are on different level that my humor can't keep up. You are that guy whom anyone can be with and not feel any awkwardness at all. Everyone like you as you are, because of those "because's." But hey, here comes the second part of the quote: the moment when I started to love you and everything became a moment of "despite." I love you despite of our differences. I may be that girl who's weak and tender, and keeps that laughing face to protect her from hurting, and you may be that guy who doesn't care at anyone or anything, but I still love you. I love you despite of not being the guy that's my type. You're far from my type and I think you knew that. I love you despite of what you chose to be, and I'll still be here to support you whatever your choice will be.

Every moment I spent my day thinking and being with you, I get to know more about you. And the more I know about you, the more my love goes deeper for you. It's funny how God didn't gave me someone who's perfect, but someone whom I need and want. I want someone who doesn't smoke, He gave me you. I want someone who likes & cares about kids genuinely, He gave me you. I want someone who has compassion in everyone, He gave me you. He gave me someone who is not only just capable of being perfect for me, but also someone who's willing to take care of me regardless of whatever status we may be.

Merry Christmas. I will always be here, and when I say that, I mean it. I love you.

I guess I'm scared
because of that dream, I can't explain.
"what if"s come through, running
running, running, running
as if they're about to flow beyond my thinking capacity
"what if you leave?"
"what if you are making your choice right now,
thinking what to say to not make me feel alone"
"what if,
I'm the only one making this work"
what if...

Hi.

I don't know why I just felt like writing to you today. It's 4:39 AM, and it's funny how I just re-read the last conversation we had, even though the only thing left is what you said.

Well, I'm writing to say that I've finally healed. I can finally say this, that I've completely healed. And with this, I wanna say (from the bottom of my heart) that I'm sorry. I said plenty of hurtful words that you don't deserve. You've been kind to me, you were there when I needed someone to listen, you became a friend to me. A true friend, and what did I give back in return? Pain. There's no enough sorry to remove the sins I did to you. I'm still bothered by what I did actually. I kept saying to myself that that's the only way that I can forget, but it's funny how up until now I can't forget. Maybe it's karma for me. That I can't forget a person that made me feel special. So, I apologize once again.

It's really funny how after six months there's still no changes in my life. I'm still stuck in my room. The words I said before, like how I would like to talk to you again after six months, I was hoping that my life would be better. But yep, after six--no seven actually, I still am here, stuck. And I still can't trust other people, and the person I've thought when I'm not okay and I'm in a fight with my bf, is you. You're the only friend I've considered in this life. But, I hope that soon I can meet other people who I can trust the same thing as how I trusted you.

And I also wanna say, even though it's ironic and hypocrite of me to say, that I hope you're happy. I hope you're smiling. I hope you have someone to tell your small and trivial things again. From the very bottom of my heart, I hope you're smiling genuinely. And I hope those people you trust and keep won't betray or leave you.

When you're trying your best
But things just won't work out

ever feel so lost
you didn't even see the arrows
that's right in front of you