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She kissed me
not because
she wanted to
but because
she could.

We fell in
love.
Not because
we could
but because
we wanted to.

We made
mistakes.
Not because
we wanted to
but because
we could.

We thought
we were
perfect.
Not because
we could
but because
we wanted to.

I vomited in
the bathroom
of a
Baltimore
7-11
because
sometimes
you cannot
hold it in
much
longer.

Her hands shook
as she held her
mirror
because
sometimes
your reflection
can only
tell you
so much.

My body shook.
Her body stiff.
And when
the bodies
move
the hearts
stop.

She lied some.
I drank words.
The veins
in hands
are maps
to imagined
consciousness.

Really,
it's just
a
*******
*****.

Music to
my ears.
Nervousness
between
blinks.
Noise to
my brain.

She said,
"I love you"
not because
she wanted to
but because
she could.

I said,
"I love you, too,"
not because
I could
but because
I wanted to.
**** now we're outside the bar
**** now we're in the car
**** now we're talking *****
**** this is gonna go far

**** now we're at your house
******* just threw off your blouse
**** now we're on the couch
**** now I'm ***** as a hyperactive mouse

**** your ***** tastes so good
**** your soft, ready for my wood
**** your so ******* tight!
this is probably gonna last all night
So clearly im *****...
It is 3:09 in the morning
Law and order plays on my TV
I just finished my third glass of wine
I am so lonely
I listened to One Direction for an hour
their music fills the holes in my heart
I am ready for bed, I feel myself getting sleepy
but I can't bring myself to lie down
I feel my legs getting cold
it's raining outside
I wish there was someone here to hold me
I hate sleeping in such a big bed all by myself
I wish I had someone to share it with
I have so much on my mind
it's causing me anxiety
I watch commercials trying to distract myself
from feeling so lonely
WRITTEN BY: Mandie Michelle Sanders
WRITTEN ON: February. 1, 2016 Monday 3:17 am
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