we embarked on our journey together with a kiss --
a kiss with tears embedded in that memory.
a kiss with tears still forming in your eyes
as you remembered a former lover,
your almost.
ultimately, we ended our journey together with a kiss --
a kiss with tears swimming from our eyes,
trickling down to our lips.
a kiss that meant the end of me for you,
as you did the same thing your former lover did,
and became my almost.

is this what you want?
is this who you truly are?
sometimes it feels easier to think that
i met someone else.
perhaps a ghost,
or a mirage of you.
eventually, i come to the conclusion that,
it was still you.
i met a side of you that i instantly loved,
and even the version of you that left,
still have my heart with it.

last night,
there were tears in my eyes and i chuckled for a moment.
after so many days,
i finally have the time to think about what just transpired.
i finally have the time to remember you,
to think about the chaos,
the storm you brought in me.
i'm left feeling distraught, not with you but with myself for allowing it.
why didn't i fight the urge to go near you?
logic never saved me, it only made matters worse.
i tried to rationalize every part of you that didn't make any sense.
i tried to explain why every moment we part,
everything burns.
i'm still burning, only the flames are bigger.
and you're still the catalyst.

the past few days have been nothing but haunting,
its as if every memory that i once cherished --
every detail of your face,
comes back to me,
mocking me,
taunting me to keep going.
i'm looking for the answer, but the question is
all but a mystery to me.
what is it i'm trying to ask?
am i asking for you?
am i asking what went wrong?
or am i asking for what the meaning of everything was?
nothing makes sense even if i was so sure,
i was ready to get lost in you.
to lose for you.
nothing could have prepared me for everything that stands
before me -- between you and i.
and i know, even if you tried,
you couldn't care for me,
the way i care for you.

i don't blame you,
i'm not an easy fire to hold on to,
the fire i exude is one that burns
to the core.
if its too much, i apologize just this once.
i didn't mean to be too much,
i only wanted to give you warmth,
to set fire in your dying heart,
to help light the path that was dimming ahead of you.
perhaps i can't help you, and that's okay.
perhaps, the only way for you to come back to me,
is to realize the fire that you've started in me,
wasn't something you should be afraid of.

i'm on hold for you,
my body,
my mind
and even if you're against it,
my heart is here for you.
its too late to be careful,
too late,
for i am already hurt,
already feeling,
already yours.

knowing the flame would burn,
did not stop me from reaching out,
hoping it would only sting a little.
the flame did not burn,
as painful as i thought it would,
but it spread within me,
and it is coursing through my veins.
the flame,
that is...you,
even this confusing part of you,
has already made it under my skin.
its futile to tell me to go,
to stop,
for i have already begun to feel
dangerous things for you,
even if the odds are against
the favor of this.