the music was playing so lovely then it found a scratch. found a scratch. found a scratch.
and when it was so lovely
    that music in my head
the wild din, swoosh round about from being a kid
and then, the record found a scratch. a scratch. a scratch.

mom's song she sang to me in her arms was beautiful dreamer. beautiful dreamer.
  scraaaaaaatch.
the song became out of key.
lullaby baby, gonna make you cry. here's auntie schizophrenia.
    we will welcome her into our song, too.
auntie schizie sounds like the scraaaaaaaaatch.
     the scratch in my young mind. in my mind.

i'm bloated with memories.
  words said,
     mistakes made,
wrong choices.
can't dance no more you see: the record is scratched.

no daddy don't look. i'll hide away. hide away.
towels under the door. covered in clothes. shower in fear.
the record scratch again. the record scratch again.
the music once came from riding in his wheelbarrow. carefree. music.
   become a teen and the record scratched.

i dreamed i held August in my arms.
Held her tight and cried into her thick black hair. i held her so tight.
  i miss you.
the record scratched.
it was music once. i thought it would always be there.
   but the record once again scratched.

so now the pills make music. like angels in my brain.
i dreamed God allowed me to hear His Holy choir.
Sounds like nothing else. Music. No scratches anymore. The music is inside.
I wish He'd pluck me out, but He will not.
   He doesn't love me enough to take me in time. and so, the record will scratch.

these pills in my head right now and music again.
    sweet.
  harmony.
       light.
  float.
yesterday they made me shake, sweat, fight my sleep.
he held my shaking body. unsure. he can't know.
  he wants to fix it.
  i keep it hidden.
it will scratch his record and end his music too.

pluck pluck scratch scratch.
the music was playing so lovely then it found a scratch.
found a scratch.
   found a scratch.

Scratch scratch,
Itch itch,
The shadow creatures aren't my friends.
"Pull at your skin" they mutter,
"You have demons within."
"Scratch away and banish them."
Scratch scratch,
Itch itch,
The shadow creatures are back again.
"They reside behind your eyes,
Ya better scratch away and banish them."
Scratch scratch,
Itch itch,
They're back and I can't hide;
For they're in my head you see,
So there is no escape for me.
"Better do as your told or else...
You think we're scary now?"
They all laugh at the pain I am in.
Scratch scratch,
Itch itch,
They stole my body; I'm captive within.
Scratch scratch,
Itch itch,
Scratch scratch,
Itch itch,
Scratch scratch,
Itch itch.

Scratch, scratch, scratch,
Another few lines,
These ones showed up last week,
These ones are from yesterday,
It's because of all the mistakes I've made,
It's because I let you go,
It's because I failed a test,
It's because I am me.
It used to make you angry,
But,
Since you're gone,
I can start doing it again,
Just one time more,
Scratch, scratch, scratch.

My mind is a blank, and i cant find the words to write. Scratch that, i cant find the right words to type. Scratch that, Im just going to try and keep this light. Scratch that, Im just going to say what's right. Scratch that, i have a feeling Im going to be here all night. So lets just try this again, from the top they say. Just let my hands type, let them go on their way, way, way, way....DAM IT!! Im stuck on way. Just start typing something. Down by the bay, where the buffalo roam, down to my home, i dare not go. Just go, just go. Take off from here. Let the words flow, let this writers block disappear. I CANT!! Im forever stuck, with my gears caught in this muck. The muck of what to write. Cuz what i want to write, i cant seem to keep right in my head. Its impossible to focus, i cant remember what i said. Something about love, or something about hate. Scratch that, it was something about fate. See what i mean, this game isn't easy. I can always right about that, or reeces pieces. Scratch that, Im not talking about that. This is a poem, i need to bring it back. Back to my topic, scratch that. Back to my focus, scratch that. Back to....scratch that. Im just going to leave it at that.

Scratch-scratch-scratch
You can hear my hand against my leg.
Scratch-scratch-scratch
Primal hair versus modern skin
Scratch-scratch-scratch
Soft versus rough
Smooth versus jagged
This will be a fight to the death!