i feel it hit me again as if ive swallowed mercury as if there are bees dying in my lungs as if suddenly nothing has ever been right with this god awful world and i cant ******* stand to sit in the same room any more.
im so sick of this im so sick of this im so sick of this
ill destroy my hearing for the next few hours or however long it takes for the music to overtake the intensity of emotion im feeling. i cant describe it i dont want to see or hear or think i need a filter in my brain to catch all the ******* thats cluttering up my mind i cant think straight for now at least the music can brush up all the crap i need to rest i need it to be quiet seemingly i can only find silence in noise loud enough to drown out everything else. i cant even hear the music its just... quiet
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