Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
George Krokos Dec 2010
Aborigines and kangaroos
boomerangs and didjeridoos.
Leafy gum tree branch and koala bear
black stump in the middle of nowhere.
Jolly swagman camped by a billabong
in 'Waltzing Matilda' a favourite song.
The wild brumbies roaming free in the outback
a scruffy hobo living alone in a country shack.
Aboriginal myths called their dreamtime
the native Australians regard as sublime.
Ring-tailed possum and wombat
aussie bloke wearing akubra hat.
Alice Springs and Ayers Rock
outback stations and livestock.
Ned Kelly bushranger and his law brushes
the Eureka stockade during the gold rushes.
Laughing kookaburra and old man emu
platypus swimming in underwater view.
Banjo Patterson’s poem ‘The Man from Snowy River’
who went riding down mountain side without a quiver.
Surfers paradise and the Great Barrier reef
sixties rock ‘n roll legend: Johnny O’Keefe.
Anzac marches and the land of the Southern cross
old Cobb & Co. stagecoach used to travel across.
Glorious summer sunshine and winter rains
severe country drought and the desert plains.
Eucalyptus scent and Tea-tree oil
good health remedies from the soil.
Fresh water yabbies and the witchety grub
all make good tucker in the bush or scrub.
Crocodiles in the Kakadu national park
Burrumundi and the great white shark.
Sydney harbour bridge and the Opera House
Daintree rain forest and the kangaroo mouse.
Sheep wool farming and old shearing sheds
Melbourne Cup horse race for thoroughbreds.
Riverboat cruising up and down the Murray
passing border country towns not in a hurry.
Cradle mountain and the Tasmanian Devil
saying ‘fair dinkum’ means it’s on the level.
AFL rules football and big crowds at the MCG
playing one day cricket there is exciting to see.
The Fitzroy Gardens and Captain Cook’s cottage
are there for all to see as symbols of our heritage.
The Twelve Apostles standing along a rugged stretch of coast
a Ninety-Mile beach is something about which we can also boast.
The Glass House mountains are a sight to see and even to climb
by those who consider themselves fit enough and in their prime.
The great Australian Bight and the road on the Nullarbor plain
is a great feat to drive across and be able to come back again.
The local native wild dog known by name as the Dingo
has nothing to do with a game people play called Bingo.
There’s also a game called two-up that some people play
by which they gamble most of their weeks wages away.
Luna Park in St.Kilda and the annual Royal Melbourne Show
are places where you can take the kids to have fun people know.
There’s the local pub where you can go and have a drink with your mates
and is what many do all day long having a few too many in all the States.
This great southern land of Australia has so much to see and to offer
it would be a ****** shame if one didn’t give a **** or was a scoffer.
_________
Private Collection - written in 2002
Australia takes her pen in hand
To write a line to you,
To let you fellows understand
How proud we are of you.

From shearing shed and cattle run,
From Broome to Hobson's Bay,
Each native-born Australian son
Stands straighter up today.

The man who used to "**** his drum",
On far-out Queensland runs
Is fighting side by side with some
Tasmanian farmer's sons.

The fisher-boys dropped sail and oar
To grimly stand the test,
Along that storm-swept Turkish shore,
With miners from the west.

The old state jealousies of yore
Are dead as Pharaoh's sow,
We're not State children any more —
We're all Australians now!

Our six-starred flag that used to fly
Half-shyly to the breeze,
Unknown where older nations ply
Their trade on foreign seas,

Flies out to meet the morning blue
With Vict'ry at the prow;
For that's the flag the Sydney flew,
The wide seas know it now!

The mettle that a race can show
Is proved with shot and steel,
And now we know what nations know
And feel what nations feel.

The honoured graves beneath the crest
Of Gaba Tepe hill
May hold our bravest and our best,
But we have brave men still.

With all our petty quarrels done,
Dissensions overthrown,
We have, through what you boys have done,
A history of our own.

Our old world diff'rences are dead,
Like weeds beneath the plough,
For English, Scotch, and Irish-bred,
They're all Australians now!

So now we'll toast the Third Brigade
That led Australia's van,
For never shall their glory fade
In minds Australian.

Fight on, fight on, unflinchingly,
Till right and justice reign.
Fight on, fight on, till Victory
Shall send you home again.

And with Australia's flag shall fly
A spray of wattle-bough
To symbolise our unity —
We're all Australians now.
The farmers are doing it tough
Tough, it is hard to understand
Why they give money to the farmers and when it comes to helping the homeless they don’t give a ****
You see people give all the money to protect the farmers
And they don’t want to help the homeless
The homeless need more money
They are sleeping rough rain hail or shine and if we don’t get rain the farmers want to be helped, mind you the food comes from there and you know what Australians think of Aussie grown and  we must sort of think of that but the homeless are swept under the rug by Australians when they ask for a few simple dollars and they get nothing, and you never see a telethon on television for them
But you see the formers get the nod, well I suppose farmers are having a tough time but they have a home at night to go to
While the homeless have nothing
Sorry, I feel strongly about helping homeless people through tough times and I am just saying my piece
Julie Grenness Jul 2015
Are migrants proud Australians?
Our nation based on immigration,
One polyglot meld of humanity,
To Australia show fidelity,
Our nation of peaceful tolerance,
People from Earth's shifting sands,
Living here in our Great Southern Land,
Deployment should not be our dance,
Nothing wrong with loyalty,
Patriotism our children's legacy,
---Great Southern Land,
All welcome to be Australians!
Inspired by a newspaper headline. Feedback welcome.
BRIANO ALLIANO PERFORMS AT JUPITER MOON


hi dudes and welcome to jupiter moon where i will chuck a methane smoothie all over dad

so he can stop treating me like him at home, you see last night dad used the old young dudes

tp say i am not like my mate pat anymore, no, don’t want to be a cool kid to my dad, but i can

clean my house to what i like, and nothing more, buddy, so if you treat me like dad, you must

except i want to be a poor man, because dads way will never work, he should work on betty campbell

here is cruising round with red bull


I see some sorry old soul walking around the town, with a leather jacket on and a red bull in his hand, you see he looks kind if ***** and ****** up in the head he also looks so droopy, too, he should be home in bed, he'll go into JB hifi, if they'll let him in, that is and then he'll notice his red bull can is empty, he didn't know what to do, and everyone is staring at him, he yells out really loud WHAT ARE YA LOOKIN' AT YA ******, and nearly gets into a fight, and he was going completely crazy, yes he was weird, so ran through the mall, saying, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, I have to get my red bull, it's a f..n matter of life and death, if I don't get a red bull now, I swear I'll **** someone, waddaya think of that, everyone was saying as he passed thinking this man is cool, I think he's a loser cruising around with his red bull
When he got his second can open it up and it squirted everywhere, and unknown to him that half the can was lost in that squirt, so he cruised around with his can saying howdy to the chicks and saying hi dudes to the chaps, and, man he felt so cool, as he went over to JB hifi, yes his red bull can was empty again, and he yelled out ****, this time he was really ****** violent, he knocked over an old lady going to the bank and punched a yeah mate yeah kid,  (nerd) in the gut, and he was like that all the way to the red bull shop, when he got their the red bull was sold out and the store clerk said we have red eye, mother or V, and he said I don't want those, they are woosey drinks, I only drink red bull, because about 1 hour the man was taken by the police, as he was cruising it gives me wings, as I left he saw a kid who bought the last red bull, and he offered him $50 for it, and the kid said, money comes and money goes, but this red bull stays with me forever, and he got violent threatening to **** him as such and the kid said, ok dude, keep ya shirt on, give me $50 for this can and I will give it to you, they exchanged what they had and the kid went to the police station to fill in a statement saying he was threatened by a crazy red bull ******, and in around with the kids red bull, the police took him away the kid identified him as the guy, whi would convert to violence, to be cruising around, oh yeah, yes, man cruising around with his red bull, what a loser

and now here is my next song, called go to bed little shy boy, because i feel like a hooligan with my itchy feet, and i feel like i am getting kidnapped on earth because i am a tad messy, cause dad will never help me, when i do work, i feel like a lady, well, ****** oath i am a
lady to a tease, but i don’t want to get teased though, so i am a man
You see, you are still a little shy boy, and we are still teasing you
So, now you are working, man, come, leave us
And let us muck around, we want to smoke our bongs
As well as drink our bourbons, and drink 100 beers
Yeah we all feel cool, and don't wake up little shy boy
We want the adults to not bother us, cause we are having so much
Fun, we don't want to be adults,and don't want you to worry about us either
You see, all the men, are sitting there, trying to muck with them
Saying tease him, if you want to tease, just teaee him
But at the end of the day, man, we aren't really teasing
We are sitting up all night, being bums and young bludgers
And it's because you are such a ******
We might be making it seemed you are getting teased
But, we really want to leave you alone,,if you leave us alone
Cause, we are drug addicts,,and we want you to respect the fact
That we don't want to work, as long as you think that you aren't a young bludger
Everything will be already, but young bludgers go to bed for work
So mate, just enjoy yourself, and smoke your bongs
And have a good time, doing it
You see, I want to enjoy ourselves doing this
You are now leaving us all on our lonesome
See ya dudes
yeah, i don’t wanna be a cool kid to tease so i say to you, shut up cockbreath, here is my next song


I am a man and other men are teasing me with the kids
This is driving me crazy, I told them that I am a man
And I don't stand for this kind of juvenile behaviour
You see the kids didn't listen to that, they just laughed
And for a while each man kept on trying to be mature adults
Which we all know they're not, said for the kids to leave me alone
And then said, he isn't a target for teasing
But then after 3 days, the men said, what the flaming ****
We are going to tease this ****** yuppie
Yes, we'll tease them with the kids
The kids would teaee and when you go to the men
The men will teaee them too. They will act like all other Australians
And tease you as well, yes and they will ****** find it ****** fun
You are suffering cause you haven't got many friends

And the kids are laughing, while the ******* men say
You are a fucken big old softie,and you are now with no friends
Then you get a knife and try to stab him
And after that you punch him in the back
And then you draw out your knife and threaten to slit his throat
If he doesn't stop fucken teasing him
But they go, I am teasing you, and that's the only way I am being



You see when I go out of my bedroom after having a night of ***
The kids ate teasing me, left right and centre
And I try to handle it, but it's so ****** hard for me to do
Because they are saying things like, I am going to bash you up
And giving me a pineapple drink which was ****** wee
close to you
So if the kiddies are teasing you, and you turn to me, to get me to muck with you
I will say, I ain't mucking with you, mate, neh
I am just teas---ase---ing you with the kiddies, you aren't like us, cause when we tease you
Mate, you can't handle it, and then you say, you are spastic, and dumb as well. And I will punch you with this metal part of my leather glove, to show you who can't fucken handle teasing, you **** of the earth, fucken man
Then you go to your room, and they don't talk to you anymore
Because they are treating you like a target to tease
And that drives me crazy. And i yelled out
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING THE MAN WHO IS GETTI NG TEASED BY MEN AND THE KIDS,  LEAVE ME THE **** ALONE
And they did, I am now a free spirit, no one can successfully taste me, never


yeah, i don’t wanna get teased by the men and kids, so i will be a hooligan oops, i am a cool person

you see, i am a polite man, hey, what did you say, you are protecting me with your hey, so i want dad to fly off, ok

have found a polite way to

I have found a polite way to say I love you even if I don't really mean it
I have found a polite way to tell you to ******* when you constantly bug me at my place of work, and that is treat him like an employee and then sack him, that'll work
I have found a polite way to tell someone that their weird without making them get upset
I have found a polite way to say to a right wing party that their policies stink by saying, you guys are a bunch of total perfectionists, who care nothing for the little guys
I have found a polite way to tell someone that they aren't the right sort of friend for me by saying, please mate, I need to broaden my horizons, so can you leave my perfect world buddy
I have found a polite way to tell my boss that I am resigning and that is I really don't want this place of employment, it's not really my cup of tea
I have found a polite way tell someone in a bar to stop bugging me by asking them nicely to please leave me alone and if that doesn't work then leave the bar saying if people aren't going to be nice to me here, I ain't going to come here
I have found a polite way to call someone a young bludger by telling them that they are as lazy as you were when you were their age
I find polite ways to say anything because I value my
Life too much to be hurt people's feelings, I am really cool, man

ya see i hear voices of people saying i have no real problems, but i wanna be famous, and i want to move to adelaide, but i don’t get positive feedback

so i feel like getting drunk and vomiting like this song

You see I love to have a few beers, or chocolate, and chips, oh yeah
This was what I really enjoy when I go to a pub at night
You see I live next door to this nightclub, called the hungry ****** horse
And I ain't cursing because I want to, man, that s what it's called
I met a man named Roger Killbert, who I had *** with and having a few
But the beers weren't doing good for Roger, they made him really sick
You see he was getting drunk and vomiting, yes, he was really sick
I don't share children with him, so why did I stay with him
You see he lost his family in the recent fires, and this is the first time he went out
And Roger was getting a sickly taste in his mouth, oh yeah
And it made him *****, he was sick,
You see it was just vomiting, so I didn't bother to take him to hospital
But I changed my mind, when te blood came out, it was really bad
So I took him to the hospital, and the hospital said he fine
But I know in my fucken ****** heart, that he was sick
Then he vomited blood, and the nurse said
To Roger to go to the waiting room
Because this isn't too important, but we do know that it was
And I said, why don't you get your *** in gear
And help my fucken friend, and from that moment
They labelled me a stubborn girl, yes I hated that a lot
And I said, yes, I'm stubborn, but I care for him, and have you got
Someone you care about, you hear about doctors like you
And I am more than just a stubborn woman
If you don't look after my friend, or at least try
I will soo your pants right off
He fucken had the nerve to say on what grounds
I am trying, to be my job, follow work protocol
Yes, I am doing fine, I earn a lot of money
And I deserve every cent, then I said you deserve squat
But I don't really care, when we left, yes I sooed his pants off
And since that ****** day, this doctor never learnt his lesson
We were moved to another hospital
You see he is getting drunk and vomiting, and he was very sick
And we are enjoying spending his money we got out of the doctor
Yes I feel ****** good

you can get your earth bodies to look at aaron clayton or aaa youtube TV, to hear everything performed by me

here is my next song


now, i will tell you where my cool kid is, at the mall mucking around
you see I go to the mall, being with young people
And I have so much fun, making young people mistakes
Like drinking all night and passing by McDonald's
For a McFeast and fries and coke
I will look like a junk food hooligan
And yes I will look so cool to the young
But I wish it was as simple as that
I want to have some fun
So I saw my two friends Eddie and Daniel
And we mucked around having fun
But it wasn't really what I wanted, man
So I told them both to *******
For 3 years after they purposely ran into me
And call me Woosey, and um, they will put the smoke in their ear
And eat McDonalds while I will try to be an adult
And every adult decision I make, they said Woosey, Woosey, Woosey
And then I got up and said you kids make me sick
But I couldn't say that, and they called me Woosey, because I was
Too Woosey to be a man, that opens up to his problems
But I felt like trying my hand trying to intimidate them
And make them leave me alone, it drives me crazy
All I want to be is a normal young dude, you know
Playing around making mistakes as well as being cool
But I have **** like you two teasing me as if your friendship is a fucken lie
You look like greedy pigs when you eat your McDonald's
And you are a ******* when you bang your head against the tapes
Yeah, dude, you look like a Woosey to me, mate
I am just doing the kind of things that Patrick did
Because what he likes to do, is similar to what I like to do
I like hard rock music, but I ain't a little young dude
Who is to scared to escape the tease
You guys are two little Wooseys, and I will say you are Wooseys
Mainly because you eat little young food like maccas
And you stick the cigarette in your hair, like a ******
I am a cool young dude, cool young dudes do art, and don't look lost
I'm not lost, I am so radical dudes, let's party
I am now on the healing process, because Daniel is the only Woosey
And that's the truth, you see


you see, how many of you guys have been called a woosey, you see i believe in loving life and here is my next song

i still wanna be young, what is wrong with that
Yes, mate, I am happy and I feel cool
I feel my body is getting younger and I want to break the adult rule
Mind you, there is nothing wrong with growing up, and being wise, so to speak
But really that's too formal, man, doing that will just send you weak
You need to do things that are exciting
Like go on an aero plane, like to Thailand or Vietnam, or even the mighty USA
You should go on long rail journeys too, yes that's a bit of a buzz
You can either choose having a sleeper, living the lap of luxury
Or roughing it up on the single ride seat
You can also grab a hot meal on the train
And you can eat it in the dining car
And you can eat it up, real fast, so you aren't away from the seat too long
I also like a bus trip, like to Batemans bay or beyond
And a trip to Sydney. Melbourne, Brisbane, Hervey bay, gold coast, and fantastic Adelaide
I go into a club and if I hear music I will either tap my foot or dance to it
Depending on the mood of the place
I also like to stay in a Hotel, and watch a bit of ****** Rupertvision
Some shows are good, and thouroughly entertained me so much
But not enough to make me give to that rich *****
I sometimes like a good trip in the country, where I climb mountains
Or just look at the views from lookouts and even the wild life
And mind you, you can have a ball in the country, cause you have no main worries
No worries at all, sonny Jim
Then you can spend the weekend in Sydney for the Carols in the domain
Where you get in early, pick a great spot, and take in the Christmas spirit
Mind you, you have to wait in line at the toilets, but it's all in good fun
And mate, if you happen to lose, dad, or even your mum
Just go to the stage, and tell them that you are a lost boy
With no directional skills, and how do I find mummy again
Of course they will help find them, but you really just wanted to get on the idiot box
And mate, just wait for the hiding you get off mum or dad
For wasting important television viewing time
There are so many things you can do, but, mate
You need to get a job, oh yeah, don't make your mum and dad pay
That can make you uncool
You see, I am a 43 year old young dude, yeah
And I will be there, till the day I join the afterlife, oh yeah
i hear voices of people saying, i ain’t going to help you little cool ki, ****** oath i am cool kid



Hi little kid, you can't find your mummy, you are a baby
Cause this is a family event, and it's quite ****** safe
Just ask a fellow kid, sure you are safe little kid
But then another kid will come, and trick me into
Looking like a phedaphile, and I won't be able to get out of it
So little kid, keep looking around for your mummy
And, yes you will see her, and I ain't helping you
Cause I am not the kids teasing Buddy
You see I want kids to let me be a true grown up
Who wants to be cool, and have a lot of fun
With other grown ups, and if kids can think of Judy being with each other
The city will look after their needs a lot better
You see, I dressed up as Santa, but I ain't helping you kid
So *******, or I will put you in the toilet
Do you want that, I don't fucken think so
I can tell you, I ain't no kid, I am an adult
Who wants to have fun and enjoy life
I don't want you kids to come up to me
And ask me to do something inappripiate
Even if it looks innocent, it ain't, I aren't that type of guy
You kids are a pack of fucken losers
And just keep yourselfs in your family groups
Cause that will suit me just fine, because
I ain't gonna he
Foreigners are people somewhere else,
Natives are people at home;
If the place you’re at
Is your habitat,
You’re a foreigner, say in Rome.
But the scales of Justice balance true,
And *** leads into tat,
So the man who’s at home
When he stays in Rome
Is abroad when he’s where you’re at.

When we leave the limits of the land in which
Our birth certificates sat us,
It does not mean
Just a change of scene,
But also a change of status.
The Frenchman with his fetching beard,
The Scot with his kilt and sporran,
One moment he
May a native be,
And the next may find him foreign.

There’s many a difference quickly found
Between the different races,
But the only essential
Differential
Is living different places.
Yet such is the pride of prideful man,
From Austrians to Australians,
That wherever he is,
He regards as his,
And the natives there, as aliens.

Oh, I’ll be friends if you’ll be friends,
The foreigner tells the native,
And we’ll work together for our common ends
Like a preposition and a dative.
If our common ends seem mostly mine,
Why not, you ignorant foreigner?
And the native replies
Contrariwise;
And hence, my dears, the coroner.

So mind your manners when a native, please,
And doubly when you visit
And between us all
A rapport may fall
Ecstatically exquisite.
One simple thought, if you have it pat,
Will eliminate the coroner:
You may be a native in your habitat,
But to foreigners you’re just a foreigner.
Mike Essig Jan 2016
Here's to all my Aussie friends.

You fought with bravery and honor
at Kimberley, Passchendaele,
Gallipoli, Romani, Crete,
Tobruck, Milne Bay, Yongju
and even in Vietnam.

And I know why you did it.

Abounding in your back yards
were stalking cassowaries, spiders
that rot your flesh, invisible
but lethal jelly fish,
Coastal Taipan and Brown snakes,
not to mention saltwater crocodiles
Great White sharks, Stone Fish,
blue ringed octopi and
the odd Marble Cone Snail.

War must have seemed safe
compared to he horrors of home.

Here's to you mates. Fair Dinkum.
I would have been on the first
transport out, too.

  ~mce
you see cronus and barry allan and buddha, has been battling the terrible forces

of cyclone marcia, which is caused by the cosmic fight of ted bundy and ronnie biggs

you see, brian allan was very tired, because he had to fight the terrible winds caused

by ted and ronnie, you see what happening is, kids and surfers and rock fishermen

and all sorts of the yobbos culture, have let ted bundy and ronnie biggs take full control

and ned kelly and the crazy ed gein, you see i just wanted to do tapestries, but, my eyes

were too tired, and i had to put power into these stupid people, who are doing all this

ya know rock fishing, and surfing, it’s herd to understand why, you see, at present i am

treated like a hooligan, but i am battling to keep the cyclones from really damaging the

earth, and there is some people stuck in an elevator, and kids near a poo,l, with high seas,

i know, it is a bit of excitement, but reality why are people allowing themselves to go out

and battle these evil spirits that caused this cyclone marcia, and elvis tried to keep these

evil spirits from killing with the powers of music, here goes

i wanna be, your teddy bear, you see i take out of my bag and cuddle you some more

i don’t wanna be a tiger, tigers play to rough, i don’t want to be a lion

the lion ain’t the type ya ought to love enough

i know you can be found sitting all alone

if you can’t come around, at least please telephone

don’t be cruel, just stop these spirits

i know it can be hard, but baby it it’s just you i am thinking of

and then elvis sang to ed gein ted bundy ronnie biggs and ned kelly

you guys are nothing but evil hound dogs, to trap these australians like this

you trap these australians thinking it’s fun to break the rules

you will never **** these people, no matter how stupid they are

you see these criminals can cause more problems, now they’re dead

ted bunny said, we are wrecking houses heh heh heh

we are forcing people to battle winds while surfing heh heh heh heh

the children caught near the rock pool, heh heh heh heh

people stuck in hotel elevator  heh heh heh heh

ted bundy said, i have everybody fooled,

then said he is glad he is dead, because nobody will believe in stories

ted bundy ronnie biggs ed gein and ned kelly making these cyclone victims

think it’s exciting to take the kids to look at the raging seas

yeah, ted bunny is loving every minute of this, every minute, every minute

and even the eye of ted bundy and ed gein looking at the queensland coast saying a loud

HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH, foolish earthlings

cronus barry allan and buddha and athena, are pushing the cyclone away

but it’s hard to beat these evil spirits

I AM CRONUS
My friends a witch doctor
He wants to grab from within
Yes, he is a witch doctor
He is a horrible beast
And when you feed the witch doctor
You give plenty of yeast
Oh yeah dude you are the coolest dude I ever saw
You are the witch doctor
From Bangalore
You see the witch doctor
He’ll steal food off your plate
Yes that witch doctor
He doesn’t wanna be your mate
He is a witch doctor
Which will grab from within
You see he is a bad witch doctor
We need to lock him up
Oh yeah dudes swing your hips
And party party party real ****** hard
Then the witch doctor
Will move to Australia
To show us you can really party
Without alcohol
But Australians won’t listen mate they need their alcohol
And that is the way of this
Crazy mixed up world
With the witch doctor
Being the target by police
But his powers make the police
Say just this
The witch doctor is too powerful
Nobody will catch him, no
Then the witch, who is the witch doctors wife
She told him to stop his little prank
The witch doctor said
No I will never stop oh no
So the witch cast a spell to make the witch doctor more loving
Then the witch doctor
Went to the party
He really enjoyed himself there
There was no need for evil
The witch and the witch doctor
Lived happily ever after
And they did
THE SHAKS ARE THE TERRORISTS GETTING THEIR OWN BACK ON THE SOUTH COAST


YOU SEE WHEN THE TERRORISTS DIED, THERE IS NO WAY KNOW TO MAN THAT THEY

AREN’T GOING TO EXCEPT DEFEAT, LIKE A COWARD, SO THEY INJECTED THEIR SOUL

AGAINST BUUDHA’S ADVICE, TO BRING SHARKS CLOSE TO BEACHES ON THE NSW NORTH AND

SOUTH COAST, YOU SEE, WE NEED TO GET RID OF THESE SHARKS, BUT THE TERROSIST

SOULD IN THE SHARKS WON’T BUDGE, YEAH THIS IS THE WAY TO TRAP AUSTRALIA

BECAUSE THEY LOOK AT IT AS BEING A FORCE OF NATURE, SO HEAPS OF TERRORISTS

WHICH ARE DEAD, YOU SEE THE HEAD TERRORIST IN CHARGE OF THE SHARK ATTACKS, IS

OSAMA BIN LADEN, SAYING AUSTRALIANS ARE SO FUCKEN GULLIBLE, YA KNOW WITH ALL

THE SHARKS, IN THE WATER, THEY WILL STILL SWIM OR SURF IN THE DANGEROUS WATERS

AND THEY MADE THE SHARK ATTACK THESE AUSTRALIANS, AND EACH AUSTRALIAN WAS

TRYING TO FIND WAYS TO GET RID OF THESE SHARKS, BUT OSAMA WON’T BUDGE

AND NONE OF THE OTHER TERRORISTS DON’T BUDGE EITHER

YA SEE OSAMA BIN LADEN IS COMING TO THE NSW COAST

YA SEE OSMA BIN LADEN COMES IN THE FORM OF A SHARK

OSAMA BIN LADEN, GETS IN THE MIND OF TWO PEOPLE ATTACKING SOMEONE IN PYRMONT

AND ALL THE TERRORISTS ARE SITTING SIPPING METHANE SMOOTHIES

ENJOYING THEIR SOULS ATTACKING THESE GULLIBLE AUSTRALIANS

CAUSE PEOPLE SHOULD LISTEN TO THE LIFEGUARD, I KNOW IT’S FUN TO SURF

BUT WE ARE LETTING THE TERRORIST SPIRIT WIN, THEY ATTACK YOU NEARLY DIE

THE SHARK ATTACKS, WE NEARLY DIE, OR DIE, TERRORISTS WIN THE WAR, IN 2014

AND WE STILL LOOK AT THIS AS BEING ANOTHER LIFE THE TERRORISTS SPIRIT HAS CLAIMED WITH THE SHARK

OSAMA BIN LADEN, IS FORCING THE SHARK ATTACKS

OSAMA BIN LADEN, MAKING THE AUSTRALIANS ******

OSAMA BIN LADEN IS KILLING US ONE BY ONE

IF THE SHARK IS THERE DON’T SWIM OR SURF

JUST TO MAKE YOU SAFE, AND CALM THE TERRORIST SPIRIT

LET’S TAKE THE SOUL OF THE TERRORISTS OUT OF THE SHARK

AND MAKE THE WATER SAFE TO SWIM OR SURF IN FOREVER AND EVER AMEN

THE DEAD TERRORISTS ARE WINNING WHILE WE DON’T LISTEN TO PEOPLE’S ADVICE

LISTEN TO LIFEGUARDS, AUSTRALIANS
the neptune benefit tooth extraction concert


with briano alliano


hi dudes, i am briano alliano and i am up here on neptune

doing a benefit concert to help athena help my earth body

with his tooth extraction, and the first song is i am bop and

i am unskinny, here goes



you see i am walking around looking silly, oh yeah

i party really hard, yeah

and i put gasoline to pump up my car yeah

and that makes me feel all so cool

my selected teeth are leaving my mouth yeah

i will party yeah, and that’ll make me cool

that makes me feel like i am bop, and i am unskinny

you see partying is the way to be

you see i am feeling all so strange

and when i was young i was called strange

by young dudes who were jealous of me

i party in the club with a seafood basket and a coke, yeah

yeah, green coke is what i like the best

and i am bop, and i am unskinny and i feel so radical

oh yeah, i do, yeah

i am having my tooth extractions

oh yeah, that will make me feel like i am falling overl, oh yeah

and that makes me bop, who is very unskinny, bop pity hoop

this next song, dudes is a ******* of our behaved prime minister

hey, mr abbott, why are my dentist bills so high

abbott replied, in these hardened economic times

we have to tighten our belts, and heads back to his mansion

and reverse cycle air conditioning

and we call out

hey, mr abbott

hey mr abbott

hey mr abbott

why are you giving us problems with dental care

you are stuffing us around, fella

so what is the problem, mr abbott, what f..k is going on

you are making poor people suffer, day in day out

and hey mr abbott, how do you suppose to think we feel about it

ya silly old fool, what’s wrong wit5h ya mr abbott

and now after i gave our behated prime minister a serve

here is my song called 15 miles

15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving us round the bend

ya see they are pushing us around every day and night

i am finding it hard to cross the stateline


you see i go to space every time i sleep

and when i am there, i have no time to peep

i throw methane all over the dead

brad, randy, mark and paul had a lot on them

and now i feel like tipping methane all over fred

and as i did that, i felt so great

then we go 15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving me round the bend

this concert, dudes raises the awareness of my dental surgery through athena

and i lay it out for my friend philomena

and travelling for 15 miles right on time

to get all the way to reach the state line

PARTY

PARTY

PARTY

PARTY

We’ll do that every day and night

as we reach the great australian bite, right now

and, dudes here is another song, called fly burgers

fly burgers, are as tasty as can be

fly burgers, are good enough for me

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun

at the footy, the flies are cooking on the plate

they are saying ya little young dudes

you are sitting up too late

just catch a well cooked blowie

and get out the bowl

put the fly in the burger mix

yeah, drown ‘em in a hole,

YEAH

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

then add lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

now in a restaurant a fly comes in

and parks on the griller

you feel like going to the zoo

and talk to a gorilla

just catch that flaming’ blowie

and add lettuce and tomato

and cook the fly, yeah that is sweet

as tasty as gelato

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun

in the summer friends drop round

to enjoy the atmosphere

some bring coke, some bring wine

and the australians all brought beer

the bbq man noticed a fly upon his back

he got the swat, and whacked it up,

OH HERE JACK

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between

two buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have so much fun

now the hospital has been busy this year

since fly burgers were on the menu

people saying that fly burgers

put germs right in you

an old man, a young boy

both died of poisoning

and nobody knows if it was

the fly burgers that did them in

fly burgers are good enough to eat

fly burgers are such a tasty treat

just catch a blowie between tw2o buttered buns

add some lettuce and tomato

and have a lot of fun, and have soooo much ****** fun,

DUDES PARTY

DUDES PARTY

DUDES PARTY

YOUNG DUDES WANT TO HAVE FLY BURGERS ON BBQ PLATES ALL OVER THE WORLD

SO DO FAM——LI——ES

and have so much fun, oh yeah


here is the next song, called the club is open


you see the club is open, is open is open

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

you see the club is open, is open, is open

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

you see come on carry me, ya see a clubber, i will always be

the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

ya excellent service is so cool

yeah mate yeah, we break no rule

you see the club is open for the patrons to enjoy

and now i will get this methane smoothie and throw it all over the crowd, yeah

this will be cool, man

and now dudes, the dental surgery is complete

the benefit concert is over

i will fly back to Canberra

the tooth extraction is complete, i am leaving neptune

see ya next time,

tata love, from the oldie in myself

— The End —