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Melinda Éva Jul 2015
Apu used to tell me,
as storms would haunt the night,
that the lightning was from God's camera
taking a picture of all that He treasured
The thunder was the rolling film
ready for another capture
And the rain was from the angels
crying at how beautiful His creation was
…and still is
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
.on a lighter note, from what you'll find included below... the Rolling Stones or the Beatles? well... as well when asking the question John Coltrane or Miles Davies, or, or... Bach, Mozart, or Beethoven... in the last case? the latter. **** me... he loved music so much that he became deaf... just like Homer became blind; god, i love these famous instances of benevolent reasoning; with its cruel culminating outcome / closure... fate, it would seem... but then the sly nudge by something akin to... well i'm unsure which i prefer: Michelangelo's creation of Adam... or Rembrandt's Belshazzar's Feast... i think (but not doubt) that i'm more fond of the latter depiction.

i seriously only have a couple
of words to make a counter-argument...
this won't take long,
this is not going to become
one of those video tirades
  (Beethoven's ode to joy
is still playing in the background,
and yes, i am moderately sober,
i had to cook up a butter chicken
curry with a coriander
    and mind chutney for the chapaties...
chap chap... bud bud...
you want a stereotypical
Apu from the Simpsons?
just watch Australia's master-chef
from this year,
and look up a guy called
Sashi Cheliah...
    buddy bud bud... you get
the picture; it's his recipe...
   curry all day, curry in the morning,
curry in the afternoon,
curry in the evening,
dreaming of curry)...
internet de-platforming...
isn't it... technically illegal?
       just curious...
because...
             my internet provider cannot
exactly switch off my access
to the internet...
like a bailiff...
   i'm not paying the electricity bills,
so they come, and switch off
my electricity supply...
   what "we're" talking about is
a case of illegality...
   to de-platform you'd require
a service provider to implement sound
justifications...
but then...
   paradox avenue:
    they're not getting the money
needed to be a service provider...
so... i'm only supposed to have
the infrastructure of buying ****
online, and banking online...
   STOP ******* UP WITH THE *******
PLAYGROUND! PUT THE SAND
BACK INTO THE SANDBOX...
PUT THE WATER BACK INTO
THE TRAFALGAR SQ. FOUNTAIN!
it's illegal...
              why aren't the hardware
companies, beating the living **** out
of these software providers?
websites are software,
they're not the computers,
the cables, the workload of Atlases...
****... this is becoming a tirade
worthy of a video...
but Beethoven's ode to joy is playing
in the background,
and i never feel like talking...
itchy fingers you see...
the devil has work for idle hands...
it's illegal...
   because it bypasses the terms
of agreement you already made with
the internet providers...
so what... you can only do so much
on the internet?
these people have paid
for their internet connection!
                 what, a, load, of, *******;
so? ensure they pay less
for their internet access...
  given that a limited internet access
is being implemented...
i'm already past being ******
off at the jukebox...
       now i'm fuming... kettle mad
just around the time when
the water starts to boil.
Ksjpari  Oct 2017
MY SWEET FAMILY
Ksjpari Oct 2017
See my cool family, Pari or Emily.
Father is the head of the family
Mother is the tail of it. Like simile
They work for one another early
Keeping all things together surely.
All children and grandparents lively
Are the bogies of this train Charlie.
All guests are passengers in hurry
Who come and go without fury.
Such people are good and chilly
Whom you can find in wood easily.
Daughters, sons are joy sheer to see.
Mitesh, Kunal and Siddu speak eagerly,
Pallu, Paisa, Deepu and Apu are showy,
All my cousins with Mital and Vaikhari
Punam, Amit and Shau talk truth clearly.
But the Family is never ending journey
The elders are turning on its cool key.
I too am a member of such dear Family
And would invite to join it Sam or Lily;
See my cool family, Pari or Emily.
I am what I am because of my family only. So I am devoting the poem to them
2D World Dec 2018
You know what I've got a message for the future to me, myself and wife
I know I....we've been through some ups and downs, hit so many lows but always got high
I'm your past but still gifted because I'm my present waiting to see our surprise nonetheless pleasant
But I trust your judgment because I know you chose right, fought the fight and got a full moon and not the crescent
This message is to show you how far you've come and what you've done
I'm the unfinished product and you're the aftermath of operation put down the gun
I'm proud of you, you finally found a beauty who could handle your inner beast
Going above and beyond like Luffy overseas you found your very own One Piece
But hold on for a bit, its about to time I spoke to my future wife so I can show her that all this ink wasn't just for nothing
I'm gonna show you that this holiday season wasn't only for cuffing
I'm praying for the day I get to meet you even though I can feel your energy nearby
I think it'll happen all of a sudden, when cupid drops down for a visit and surprises me with a drive by
So I might as well shoot my shot and hope you're the one this message goes to
Because I'm trying to become a petty thief like Aladdin and Apu
Only difference is my crime will make history, it'd make me an international Christmas thief
I'll steal you and your heart and afterwards I'll steal a kiss under the mistletoe right before I run off with you and the reef
I don't question my future self since I know he has the greatest and wouldn't settle for anything inferior
I could just picture it out now me and you buying our own house and decorating the interior
You'd be the only one clearing my conscience and cleaning my psyche
We'd be the shoulder for the other when things get rough and have deep discussions on a nightly
Cry with you through every struggle, tell you its going to be alright and hold you tightly
Have our disagreements and get into arguments where things get a little too feisty
But ****, I wish I could put myself in my future's footsteps now and experience all that first hand
I still think of it all as my personal fantasy, a miraculous kingdom and a luxurious life all for one man
Luckily you'll be living that dream while I'm working on making that my soon to be reality
So if I scare her a bit its because you know I'm unorthodox and she'll have to get to used to this abnormal activity
My world will collide with yours my soon to be future wife
Its like we're exchanging vows right now, holding hands in marriage and I'm making you mine for life
Now to finish off this message to my future self I hope you understand that you're holding a diamond in the rough
I don't want to say you should be spoiling her but one thing you should remember is enough could never be enough
I'm still here hoping you remember the words we always said hoping their fresh in your memory like a tic tac
Because you can never forget 'every minor setback is just another reason for a major comeback'
I can already imagine it, tearing off the wrapping paper and loosening the ribbon, getting what was on my wish list
I hope to see you inside because all I want is you for my gift this Christmas
#MoveOnImpulse        #NeverWaitTooLate    #GetHerBeforeItsTooLate
#YouHoldThePower     #Christmas2K19SoonToBe
Mateuš Conrad Sep 2017
you know why i smashed my martin (& co.) 00015M solid mahogany vintage acoustic guitar? for one, my ex-girlfriend's father ****** her up, after i "apparently" broke her heart: i don't remember breaking any of his property - guess a sad dole daughter's worth of heartbreak turns it into a right to break private property... my, what generous excuses! but that's beside the point... i finally smashed the guitar, why? because i couldn't play the blues man, because i couldn't play the blues... it's one thing jerking off an ac/dc solo, but another to sip the blues rhythm... you ain't got the blues rhythm: you got jack-****! so off she went, to the guillotine on the pavement... i mean: standard blues riffs is one thing, but to actually master the blues? talk about black privilege.

and it was always like that:
  the beatles vs. the rolling stones "debate" -
i gave up on the blues,
i am pretty sure i had a phase where
i listened to nothing but blues -
   but then i amounted to more patience
as an admirer of jazz -
    kept the brain ticking -
      a nice unorthodoxy from classical whitey
music -
   really? can we talk about black
privilege? god, i hate myself for this
political language within the current zeitgeist
of:
     it's not about being offended -
let me clarify: there's a grand canyon's worth
of disparity being being rude &
being polite when working the "offended"
by free speech gimmick...
    being rude & being polite is plainly
dialectical: **** me, bring in thesaurus rex
and call it: courteous vs. being a polish farmer
who just moved into the city,
and doesn't comprehend the idea of
a supermarket queue -
and there is a ****** well ruling difference,
like ****** and the jurisprudent notion
of attempt / intent...
  both receive a charge in the court -
        by being rude means you were
****** in your familial antics for far too long
and you're a clean slate,
but purposive rudeness, i.e. crafting offence?
that's a problem, i'm sorry to say -
there's no dialectical approach to unraveling
this "per se" of stature -
i'm actually more bereaved by the death
of dialectics than that of god...
       there's no way you can actually invite
dialectical investigation in most of today's
arguments...
        dialectics in shorthand?
   play stupid, until the opposite party
showcases a higher tier of stupidity -
   but just this competing over the most crass
and shortened argument, being said
& subsequently being left unchallenged -
i remember at school: the gift of the gab was
synonymous with: don't let the other person
speak, or make a question...
someone ought to compensate this vocab
black hole as to what the technique actually is -
just a name would do,
     since, as i already said:
there's a stark difference between being rude
and being offensive -
     since what compensates being polite
       if rude becomes *to offend
?
seems like such a dumb question to ask -
          point being, i don't might being offended:
i get an adrenaline rush -
   i can't afford the sort of adrenaline rush
that a bungee jump could invite -
so i guess, the poor man's choice of adrenaline
is to become "offended";
i love it though: it's like a get the chance to
overpower a troll by turning into an orc -
      and a mean ******* i can become.
ah, enough of the current "trend" of topic...
so me comes along this article in a sunday
supplement of a newspaper (sunday,
given the additions, and the news review section,
probably the only day a newspaper
makes sense) -
and i come across... generation xanax...
hmm... now that's mighty interesting...
god, i hate using the words "they" use!
so first off they slagged off millennials -
loafers, stoners, parasites, loners -
     boomerangs ****-brain scums -
     i love these "journalists": they've woken up,
finally!
     there was something odd that
the post-millennial generation zzz (snore) would
or could ever be so squeaky clean!
  unimaginable!
       well, apparently, they've been - bee-zee...
busy bees these rodger steiners have been...
stay of the ***** they said,
model citizens they said:
  don't drink, don't smoke, **** is so lame-oh...
hmm... too good to be true i thought
at first... when i was 14 we used to hit the cheap
strong cider (white lightning) at our
local youth club, bought **** magazines
and felt ashamed with an apu looking at as
stoically - and then played pool...
    we used to go to the top of parking lots
and spit at strangers from the top...
   throw stones at passing trains...
             and **** in phone-boxes if not
public trash-cans, and every party we went
to? we called it frankfurt -
      otherwise known as a sausage fest...
someone of us settled, someone of us said:
i've got a load of blank pieces of paper -
i'd like to see them filled...
          for posterity;
but **** me i knew something was wrong...
so now the current generation of "rebels"
has taken a liking to anti-anxiety medication,
under the umbrella (slang, for protection)
shield of "prescriptive medication"?
   wow... totally blew my mind -
  while i was making my own anti-insomnia
cocktail of *****, 25mg of amitriptyline,
and on the somewhat rare occasion 250mg
of naproxen (which creates a longer sleeping
session); and in today's front page article?
a good night's sleep does more good than
a 50% pay-rise;
but me and *****? i guess i must have
brought with me a stone heart -
      and have subsequently ended up being
the only person within a mile:
who can still laugh out loud without
faking it... how? because the laugh emerges
from the vacuous presence of:
me... and me alone.
   i know why these younglings took to prescription
drugs...
    they never learned how to drink,
and probably, never will...
        alcohol has long been mishandled,
and esp. stronger liquor -
            it's no longer seen as a sedative -
someone people "think" alcohol is imbued
with caffeine, that it's a party drug -
    and if it is a "party" drug - no one everyone
looks plain: dumb;
and since i have no hold on barbiturates
like nietzsche, i guess i'm his answer when he
implored to be taught by dionysus -
  he so desperately wanted to change his
barbiturates habit for alcohol...
         but i'm in a sense a pseudo-"sage" -
i don't look toward the harvest of grapes -
but wheat, or potatoes -
       given the latter: as i'm currently drinking
russian standard.
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2018
wild eyed... unlike a live Tom Waits
track...

   more like... madonna...
and a song from, "the" first album...

lucky star...

           bill maher humor on
the basis of the Apu controversy...

oh... and the 1970s Italian
pornographic movie industry...
classic *****...
like... these people really like
to ****, what's supposed to be ******,
and deviate from whatever
the hand translates into imitating
****... like sitting on it
for the third-person numbing
experience...

    sure... but... who minds the dubbing?
ah ****...
throw in some scenes
from bret easton ellis' story...
but keep the madonna track...
star... light... star right...
star light... star right...
        star light... ooh yeah!

oh yeah... 1970s Italian pornographic
films...
      lucky would i be,
had i **** like that...
  Monica Roccaforte and all...
        the modern *******
is just crass...
   i sweat to god...
i will never give up the pleasure
of taking a ****,
to merely replace it with doing
****...
no chance... ah-ah...
            (like some variant a-ha or something?)

but you know, it's Italian,
i ****** off to fine art once...
the Renaissance nudes...
      what?!
                 the women have a let-go moment
being able to monetize videos
using ******...
me? or any man?
what... arm-chair and scented candles?

here's the combo:
take a **** (no. 1)
take a **** (no. 2)
  ******* (no. 3)...
then jump into the shower (no. 4)...
who said anything about
the theatrics of *******
outside of a female
compensation theater...
it's all
   equivalent to Azamat
  (film? Borat)...
           it's equated to taking a ****...

but please keep that
madonna track in mind...
             lucky star...
the bass on that track is like...
an avalanche...
            i get a ******* just thinking
about it.

— The End —