Wannabe wrote to the judge and said he wanted to proceed pro se.
The judge replied back and said that it was okay.
Not knowing that Wannabe knew less about law than most lawyers forgot
When Wannabe was looking on Amazon, he had an amazing thought.
They said if you wanted to hide something from a black put it in a book.
But he replied to himself, They did not figure that this black would look.
Wannabe figured that he could teach himself the law like school.
He didn’t know that both the professor and the student in this case was a fool.
Finally, and most amazingly, the day for the trial was here.
Wannabe was confident he would win, he did not fear.
He say that the landlord had at his side appointed counsel.
But Wannabe thought that the case hinged on the stronger will.


Wannabe held on to the podium as if he wanted it choked
There wasn’t a single rule of opening statements he hadn’t broken.
Wannabe said To my friends, my enemies, and my haters.
He thought this is my chance to say what wasn’t in the motion papers.
Then Wannabe looked up at the judge and said May it please the court.
This should be both a property dispute and a tort.
Because during my time there, he made me very distressed.
He was both a menace to society and an enemy of progress
The landlord’s lawyer did not object because he was so shocked.
That the law could be so abused, battered and mocked.

Then the landlord’s lawyer called his witness to the stand.
And asked him a very simple direct question.
Wannabe shouted out with a loud cry, “Objection”
Then he said under his breathe for all to hear, “I am not the one”
The judge said that Wannabe’s objection was overruled.
Wannabe said, “Im not a lawyer” and the judge replied, “No one was fooled”.
Wannabe continued to carry on until the judge called him for a conference.
And told him that if he did not behave, his case would be dismissed.
Then it came time for Wannabe and Wannabe said, “I wish to direct-examine me”.
The judge said No you cant do that, and very angrily.
Wannabe had to sit down because he did not have a witness or expert.
Then the judge said that he lost, and Wannabe was especially hurt.

Wannabe claimed from a young age he was meant to play pro basketball.
Even though he wasn’t strong, couldn’t jump high, and couldn’t go fast at all.
He tried to shoot foul shots at the park but he just shot foul.
When someone would bump him he was mad he didn’t get calls.
Wannabe would flop so much people watching said he was trying to audition.
And he would shoot the mid range jumper as if he was going fishing.
See, Wannabe played on the varsity team in high school  but his uncle was the coach.
And he would not listen to people who told him he had the wrong approach.
Wannabe attacked the basket like it stole something, but he would miss the shot.
His shooting form  on the basketball looked like he hurt his wrist a lot
Because Wannabe  would shoot the ball almost from his side.
And when Wannabe did not make it in it was like someone had died.
Because Wannabe said the rims was tilted and his friend said his shot was tilted.
Now Wannabe doesn’t talk to that friend anymore because he felt jilted.
Rebounding was a foreign concept to Wannabe and defense  did not know his game.
So when he had to guard someone it was like a free basket because there was an open lane.
Wannabe did not get steals or blocks, because he said that those were not points.
And when somebody scored on him, Wannabe said it was because of his aching joints.
But Wannabe is in the park, because he thinks one day he will be in the NBA.
But the time that he would get signed seems like an eternity away.

Look at all these wannabe gangsters
Terrorising our streets
That one's wearing camouflage trousers
Just wait till you hear him speak
'Dems bear skills mate'
'Can you lend me fifty bar?'
He sounds like he's from Los Angeles
Doing time in the yard
But he's not
He still lives at home with his mum
And his pregnant girlfriend
And he's under the thumb
You see them outside Tesco
But they're not shopping for pesto
Let's go
They've seen the old bill
He's known around this town
For selling dodgy pills
Guns, knives and slang
That's what you need
If you wanna be in their gang
No education
Just a stolen Playstation
And don't forget the ****
Even on a school night
They're out doing speed
You'll see 'em in the park
With a bottle of cider
Then they'll start
On a poor old-timer
Tracky bottoms
And a Burberry hat
Chav fashion
Cause they think they're all that
But the funny thing is
They don't have a clue
They don't think like
Me or you
They think that they're rap stars
Dreaming of fast cars
But they're just wankers
More like 'wannabe gangsters'