******-man, ******-man
Does whatever a ****** can
Wanks a **** any size,
He'll undo your trouser flies
Watch Out!
Here **** the ******-man.

Does he ***?
listen bud
When he **** its like a flood
he **** from his ***** head
Take a look at his bed
Hey, there
There goes the ******-man

When his suit is to tight
His bulge starts to slime
He wanks through the night
and spunks all the time

******-man, ******-man
Friendly neighborhood ******-man
**** and *****
He's ignored
Tossing is his reward
To him, life is a monkey spank up
Whenever there's **** up
You'll find the ******-man

My unrequited golden dove,
you are a merchant banker
them bloomin' groovy bars
are sad tonight

but given the chance I wouldda gotten
cash & carried
& spent me porridge knife
loving your mince pies

had I not known
you'd treat me golden dove thus
& yes, been your trouble & strife
with all me Horse & cart.......

I know, not smart
I know, not smart


Translation:

( In English tis not a very impressive poem... it's just amusing how you can make cockney rhyming slang into a poem, so I've been experimenting.... I really want to send this to the guy I'm unrequitedly in love with actually... & leave him (hopefully)confused & in the dark as to what I wrote....mostly I just really want to call him a ' merchant banker' e.g ' ******' & get away with it!! xD ' ******' is a particularly offensive term to use when referring to a man!)

* My unrequited love
you are a ******
them ****** stars
are sad tonight

but given the chance I would have gotten
married
& spent my life
loving your eyes

had I not known
you would treat my love thus
& yes, been your wife
with all my heart

I know, not smart
I know, not smart