That feeling when you catch yourself in a washroom mirror and think, "God you look terrible."
That feeling when your physical nails break at clawing your mind out of a creeping depression. Like shackles tied to the weight of your mistakes pulling you back to that place.
That feeling when you can't process what's fair and unfair. Where you went wrong and why you're not better to begin with.
That feeling when you're at a constant battle of worth, convincing yourself to exist. When old vices and bad memories hit you with a bone chilling gust.
That feeling when you can't fake it hard enough to hide the damage. Ripped to shreds, sewing them in whatever pattern to just get over it.

I should be able to hear what everyone is saying...
The sudden realization serves as requiem in the form of a cool steel breeze
one that ebbs and flows to me
recounting a time of mindless days and apathy flooding in
Endless days
and hemorrhaged youth
conceive but don't produce
i'd like to think i'm all in and wise
but I really don't have a ******* clue
at least
not anymore