i feel it hit me again
as if ive swallowed mercury
as if there are bees dying in my lungs
as if suddenly nothing has ever been right with this god awful world and i cant ******* stand to sit in the same room any more.

im so sick of this im so sick of this im so sick of this

ill destroy my hearing for the next few hours
or however long it takes for the music to overtake the intensity of emotion im feeling.
i cant describe it
i dont want to see or hear or think
i need a filter in my brain to catch all the ******* thats cluttering up my mind
i cant think straight
for now at least the music can brush up all the crap
i need to rest
i need it to be quiet
seemingly i can only find silence in noise loud enough to drown out everything else.
i cant even hear the music
its just... quiet

I feel it again
the growing pain
of inadequacy
of being hollowed out
from the core
to be filled
with longing

I fought attachment
knowing the risk
But your beauty
Was too powerful
I loved you
despite myself

I bleed out
unseen

Pictures,
Some of us knows it paints a single word,
Perception,
A creation,
Of an illusion.

~*RSD