what is my promised pain?
from conception
to my first deception
i wondered what my promised pain was

is it as sweet and seductive
as a lovers first touch?
or is it as ****** and dull
as entangled flesh in a bush full of thorny rose crowns?
will my pain be promised from myself,
or someone else who takes my ground?

will our promised pain tell us who we are?
"mirror mirror on the wall, show me, define me"
we all yelled until our breath gave out,
our voices piercing the infinite heaven,
wishing for the mirror on the wall to show us as
the perfect chain
but the only thing that shows us who we are,
is the reality of pain,
our promised pain?

how will i know when i feel my promised pain?
emotional, physical, will i even know it hit me?
will i be on the ground, bawling, unable to be in touch with what is pain?
will i bleed, contort, and bruise?
how do i know when the promised pain that was gifted from me from conception,
will turn it's age old gears unto me?

who promised us this pain?
this pain, whether we deserve or don't
this pain, without a messiah in cloth to save us from
this pain, this pain, this promised pain
this pain, we can't describe
this pain, we were all bound to from birth
this pain, that only your touch may heal
but then again, our promised pain
is god or the devil's deal.

this pain, this vowed pain,
the pain of a demon's pitchfork,
an angel's sword of justice,
this promised pain, this pain of no mercy,
does it last forever, or just a second?
does it return, or leave forever?
what is this promised pain,
we were gifted with from birth?

my memory of your promised pain,
a pain i could not feel,
a pain as slow as the minutes ticking away on the clock,
for i've been watching your for a while,
since you walked into my life,
a monday morning, able to heal a pain.

a monday morning, filled with pain,
a stab of happiness,
a cut of despair,
i was much too shy,
to let my feelings show,
but you let them free,
and that was the beginning of possible promised pain.

at last, we can talk,
maybe in another way,
and at last, i love you,
it became too hard to say,
due to our promised pain,
if only i could say the words i feel.

tell me if you've had promised pain,
tell me what your feelings are,
tell me if you love me not
i have so much, i need to ask you,
but now that chance has gone, flee in the run of a rabbit,
when you reach your fading *****,
in my heart,
those promised memories stay,
glowing pride, your only smiling
through that promised pain.

You promised me you would take care of me like a precious baby
You promised me you would be there even when my cradle breaks
You promised me you would fix the pieces of my broken mental puzzles
You promised me you would wipe away my tears,
You promised me you will be my shell and shun away my fears,
You promised me there would always be days where I can smile without having to worry,
You promised me i'll never have to be alone,
You promised me and made me believe that there is always hope,
You promised to swim with me atleast once,
You promised to play that song with your guitar,
You promised me you'll buy me you'll buy me that strawberry cheese milkshake,
You promised me to get me that dress,
You promised me you will be the best for me,
You promised to not hurt me ever,
You promised me that I will be your one and only,
You promised me You'll always be my Guardian angel,
All i can say is you promised. With the ED behind every promise.
It's never going ** happen? I wish to know your promises do come true.
I'll wait as long as ever.

Because I loved you

Because you filtered away my doubts

Because you created a picture, a frame, and a decoration

Because you promised



Because whenever I see your name I want to scream

Because when I see your name I think of you

Because when I think of you, I think of it, that day

Because you promised



Because when I was down, you picked me up

Because your soul was in sync with mine

Because you brought out the best in me

Because you promised Because I loved you

Because you filtered away my doubts

Because you created a picture, a frame, and a decoration

Because you promised



Because whenever I see your name I want to scream

Because when I see your name I think of you

Because when I think of you, I think of it, that day

Because you promised



Because when I was down, you picked me up

Because your soul was in sync with mine

Because you brought out the best in me

Because you promised

Because when you said “forever” I tried not to believe it

Because when you said it, you were so confident

Because you told me I was your one and only

Because you promised



Because when you shattered my heart, I cried
Because I cried for days and days, my eyes grew tired
Because my eyes grew tired so did my mind
Because you promised

Because when someone promises, I expect them to let me down, and  
Because I was hoping you’d be different, I fell
Because when I fall, I fall hard
Because you promised

Because as I sunk deeper into your arms, I saw my future
Because I saw us at the altar, I saw us in the delivery room
Because I felt sure that you would be my always
Because you promised

Because 3 month and 9 days ago you let me go

Because when I begged for you to stay, you said “I don’t know what to say.”

Because you cried and I cried, I believed it wasn’t over

Because you promised



Because when you took our pictures down I felt empty  

Because I hadn’t taken mine down, mine are still up

Because you happened

Because you promised



Because I let myself fall for you

Because I let you take my heart into your two greedy hands

Because when you looked into my eyes, I believed

Because you promised



Because when you said I love you, I didn’t know it was  

Because you were saying goodbye

Because you were with her now

Because you promised



Because she was closer in proximity

Because 131 miles was too far for you

Because when you wanted ***, I wasn’t there

Because you promised



Because when I said forever, I meant it

Because you were my all

Because I was the fool who let you in

Because you promised



Because I dressed how you wanted

Because I did what you wanted

Because I was the “perfect girlfriend”

Because you promised



Because you were mine

Because I was yours

Because I thought we would be that 2%

Because you promised



Because you left me broken

Because you crushed my heart

Because I wished you well

Because I promised