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Michael R Burch Feb 2020
When Pigs Fly
Michael R Burch
Feb 2020
When Pigs Fly
by Michael R. Burch
On the Trail of Tears,
my Cherokee brothers,
why hang your heads?
Why shame your mothers?
Laugh wildly instead!
We will soon be dead.
When we lie in our graves,
let the white-eyes take
the woodlands we loved
for the *** and the rake.
It is better to die
than to live out a lie
in so narrow a sty.
In October 1838 the Cherokees began to walk the "Trail of Tears." Most of them made the thousand mile journey west to Oklahoma on foot. An estimated 4,000 people, or a quarter of the tribe, died en route. The soldiers "escorting" the Cherokees at bayonet point refused permission for the dead to be buried, threatening to shoot anyone who disobeyed. So the living were forced to carry the corpses of the dead until camp was made for the night. Years after the Cherokees had been rounded up and driven down the Trail of Tears, John G. Burnett reflected on what he and his fellow soldiers had done, saying, "Schoolchildren of today do not know that we are living on lands that were taken from a helpless race at the bayonet point, to satisfy the white man's greed... ****** is ****** and somebody must answer, somebody must explain the streams of blood that flowed in the Indian country... Somebody must explain the four thousand silent graves that mark the trail of the Cherokees to their exile." Keywords/Tags: Cherokee, Native American, Trail of Tears, Ethnic Cleansing, Genocide, ******, Evil, Death, March, Death March, Infanticide, Matricide, Racism, Racist, Discrimination, Violence, Fascism, White Supremacists, Horror, Terror, Terrorism, Greed, Gluttony, Avarice, Lust, ****, mrbpig, mrbpigs
Cherokee Prayer
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
As I walk life's trails
imperiled by the raging wind and rain,
grant, O Great Spirit,
that yet I may always
walk like a man.
This prayer makes me think of Native Americans walking the Trail of Tears with far more courage and dignity than their “civilized” abusers.
Native American Prayer
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Help us learn the lessons you have left us
in every leaf and rock.
Native American Travelers' Blessing
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Let us walk together here
among earth's creatures great and small,
remembering, our footsteps light,
that one wise God created all.
Sioux Vision Quest
by Crazy Horse, Oglala Lakota Sioux, circa 1840-1877
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
A man must pursue his Vision
as the eagle explores
the sky's deepest blues.
Cherokee Travelers' Blessing I
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I will extract the thorns from your feet.
For yet a little while, we will walk life's sunlit paths together.
I will love you like my own brother, my own blood.
When you are disconsolate, I will wipe the tears from your eyes.
And when you are too sad to live, I will put your aching heart to rest.
Published by Better Than Starbucks and Cherokee Native Americans
Cherokee Travelers' Blessing II
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Happily may you walk
in the paths of the Rainbow.
Oh,
and may it always be beautiful before you,
beautiful behind you,
beautiful below you,
beautiful above you,
and beautiful all around you
where in Perfection beauty is finished.
Published by Better Than Starbucks
Cherokee Travelers' Blessing III
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
May Heaven’s warming winds blow gently there,
where you reside,
and may the Great Spirit bless all those you love,
this side of the farthest tide.
And wherever you go,
whether the journey is fast or slow,
may your moccasins leave many cunning footprints in the snow.
And when you look over your shoulder, may you always find the Rainbow.
Published by Better Than Starbucks
What is life?
The flash of a firefly.
The breath of the winter buffalo.
The shadow scooting across the grass that vanishes with sunset.
―Blackfoot saying, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Warrior's Confession
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Oh my love, how fair you are—
far brighter than the fairest star!
Cherokee Proverb
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Before you judge
a man for his sins
be sure to trudge
many moons in his moccasins.
Cherokee Prayer
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
As I walk life's trails
imperiled by the raging wind and rain,
grant, O Great Spirit,
that yet I may always
walk like a man.
When I think of this prayer, I think of Native Americans walking the Trail of Tears.
The Receiving of the Flower
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Let us sing overflowing with joy
as we observe the Receiving of the Flower.
The lovely maidens beam;
their hearts leap in their *******.
Why?
Because they will soon yield their virginity to the men they love!
The Deflowering
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Remove your clothes;
let down your hair;
become as naked as the day you were born—
virgins!
Prelude to *******
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Lay out your most beautiful clothes,
maidens!
The day of happiness has arrived!
Grab your combs, detangle your hair,
adorn your earlobes with gaudy pendants.
Dress in white as becomes maidens ...
Then go, give your lovers the happiness of your laughter!
And all the village will rejoice with you,
for the day of happiness has arrived!
The Flower-Strewn Pool
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
You have arrived at last in the woods
where no one can see what you do
at the flower-strewn pool ...
Remove your clothes,
unbraid your hair,
become as you were
when you first arrived here
naked and shameless,
virgins, maidens!
Native American Proverbs
The soul would see no Rainbows if not for the eyes’ tears.
—loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
A woman’s highest calling is to help her man unite with the Source.
A man’s highest calling is to help his woman walk the earth unharmed.
—loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
—White Elk, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
What is life?
The flash of a firefly.
The breath of a winter buffalo.
The shadow scooting across the grass that vanishes with sunset.
—Blackfoot saying, translation by Michael R. Burch
Speak less thunder, wield more lightning. — Apache proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
The more we wonder, the more we understand. — Arapaho proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Adults talk, children whine. — Blackfoot proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Don’t be afraid to cry: it will lessen your sorrow. — Hopi proverb
One foot in the boat, one foot in the canoe, and you end up in the river. — Tuscarora proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Our enemy's weakness increases our strength. — Cherokee proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
We will be remembered tomorrow by the tracks we leave today. — Dakota proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
No sound's as eloquent as a rattlesnake's tail. — Navajo saying, translation by Michael R. Burch
The heart is our first teacher. — Cheyenne proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Dreams beget success. — Maricopa proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Knowledge interprets the past, wisdom foresees the future. — Lumbee proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
The troublemaker's way is thorny. — Umpqua proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Earthbound
an original poem by Michael R. Burch
Tashunka Witko, better known as Crazy Horse, had a vision of a red-tailed hawk at Sylvan Lake, South Dakota. In his vision he saw himself riding a spirit horse, flying through a storm, as the hawk flew above him, shrieking. When he awoke, a red-tailed hawk was perched near his horse.
Earthbound,
and yet I now fly
through the clouds that are aimlessly drifting ...
so high
that no sound
echoing by
below where the mountains are lifting
the sky
can be heard.
Like a bird,
but not meek,
like a hawk from a distance regarding its prey,
I will shriek,
not a word,
but a screech,
and my terrible clamor will turn them to clay—
the sheep,
the earthbound.
Years after the Cherokees had been rounded up and driven down the Trail of Tears, John G. Burnett reflected on what he and his fellow soldiers had done, saying, "Schoolchildren of today do not know that we are living on lands that were taken from a helpless race at the bayonet point, to satisfy the white man's greed ... ****** is ****** and somebody must answer, somebody must explain the streams of blood that flowed in the Indian country ... Somebody must explain the four thousand silent graves that mark the trail of the Cherokees to their exile."
In the same year, 1830, that Stonewall Jackson consigned Native Americans to the ash-heap of history, Georgia Governor George Gilmer said, "Treaties are expedients by which ignorant, intractable, and savage people are induced ... to yield up what civilized people have the right to possess." By "civilized" he apparently meant people willing to brutally dispossess and **** women and children in order to derive economic benefits for themselves.
These nights bring dreams of Cherokee shamans
whose names are bright verbs and impacted dark nouns,
whose memories are indictments of my pallid flesh . . .
and I hear, as from a great distance,
the cries tortured from their guileless lips, proclaiming
the nature of my mutation.
―Michael R. Burch, from "Mongrel Dreams" (my family is part Cherokee, English and Scottish)
After Jackson was re-elected with an overwhelming majority in 1832, he strenuously pursued his policy of removing Native Americans, even refusing to accept a Supreme Court ruling which invalidated Georgia's planned annexation of Cherokee land. But in the double-dealing logic of the white supremacists, they had to make the illegal resettlement of the Indians appear to be "legal," so a small group of Cherokees were persuaded to sign the "Treaty of New Echota," which swapped Cherokee land for land in the Oklahoma territory. The Cherokee ringleaders of this infamous plot were later assassinated as traitors. (****** was similarly obsessed with the "legalities" of the **** Holocaust; isn't it strange how mass murderers of women and children can seek to justify their crimes?)
Native Americans understood the "circle of life" better than their white oppressors ...
When we sit in the Circle of the People,
we must be responsible because all Creation is related
and the suffering of one is the suffering of all
and the joy of one is the joy of all
and whatever we do affects everything in the universe.
—"Lakota Instructions for Living" by White Buffalo Calf Woman, translated by Michael R. Burch
Veiled
by Michael R. Burch
She has belief
without comprehension
and in her crutchwork shack
she is
much like us . . .
tamping the bread
into edible forms,
regarding her children
at play
with something akin to relief . . .
ignoring the towers ablaze
in the distance
because they are not revelations
but things of glass,
easily shattered . . .
and if you were to ask her,
she might say:
sometimes God visits his wrath
upon an impious nation
for its leaders’ sins,
and we might agree:
seeing her mutilations.
Published by Poetry Super Highway and Modern War Poems.
Ali’s Song
by Michael R. Burch
They say that gold don’t tarnish. It ain’t so.
They say it has a wild, unearthly glow.
A man can be more beautiful, more wild.
I flung their medal to the river, child.
I flung their medal to the river, child.
They hung their coin around my neck; they made
my name a bridle, “called a ***** a *****.”
They say their gold is pure. I say defiled.
I flung their slave’s name to the river, child.
I flung their slave’s name to the river, child.
Ain’t got no quarrel with no Viet Cong
that never called me ******, did me wrong.
A man can’t be lukewarm, ’cause God hates mild.
I flung their notice to the river, child.
I flung their notice to the river, child.
They said, “Now here’s your bullet and your gun,
and there’s your cell: we’re waiting, you choose one.”
At first I groaned aloud, but then I smiled.
I gave their “future” to the river, child.
I gave their “future” to the river, child.
My face reflected up, dark bronze like gold,
a coin God stamped in His own image―BOLD.
My blood boiled like that river―strange and wild.
I died to hate in that dark river, child,
Come, be reborn in this bright river, child.
Originally published by Black Medina
Note: Cassius Clay, who converted to Islam and changed his “slave name” to Muhammad Ali, said that he threw his Olympic boxing gold medal into the Ohio River. Confirming his account, the medal was recovered by Robert Bradbury and his wife Pattie in 2014 during the Annual Ohio River Sweep, and the Ali family paid them $200,000 to regain possession of the medal. When drafted during the Vietnamese War, Ali refused to serve, reputedly saying: “I ain't got no quarrel with those Viet Cong; no Vietnamese ever called me a ******.” The notice mentioned in my poem is Ali's draft notice, which metaphorically gets tossed into the river along with his slave name. I was told through the grapevine that this poem appeared in Farsi in an Iranian publication called Bashgah. ―Michael R. Burch
evol-u-shun
by Michael R. Burch
does GOD adore the Tyger
while it’s ripping ur lamb apart?
does GOD applaud the Plague
while it’s eating u à la carte?
does GOD admire ur intelligence
while u pray that IT has a heart?
does GOD endorse the Bible
you blue-lighted at k-mart?
Enheduanna, the daughter of the famous King Sargon the Great of Akkad, is the first ancient writer whose name remains known today. She appears to be the first named poet in human history and the first known author of prayers and hymns. Enheduanna, who lived circa 2285-2250 BCE, is also one of the first women we know by name.
Lament to the Spirit of War
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
You hack down everything you see, War God!
Rising on fearsome wings
you rush to destroy the land,
descending like a raging storm,
howling like a hurricane,
screaming like a tempest,
thundering, raging, ranting, drumming,
whiplashing whirlwinds!
Men falter at your approaching footsteps.
Tortured dirges scream
on your lyre of despair.
Like a fiery Salamander you poison the land:
growling over the earth like thunder,
vegetation collapsing before you,
blood gushing down a mountainside.
Spirit of hatred, greed and vengeance!
******* of heaven and earth!
Your ferocious fire consumes our land.
Whipping your stallion
with furious commands,
you decide our fate.
You triumph over all human rites and prayers.
Who can explain your tirade,
why you go on so?
Temple Hymn 15
to the Gishbanda Temple of Ningishzida
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
Most ancient and terrible shrine,
set deep in the mountain,
dark like a mother's womb...
Dark shrine,
like a mother's wounded breast,
blood-red and terrifying...
Though approaching through a safe-seeming field,
our hair stands on end as we near you!
Gishbanda,
like a neck-stock,
like a fine-eyed fish net,
like a foot-shackled prisoner's manacles...
your ramparts are massive,
like a trap!
But once we’re inside,
as the sun rises,
you yield widespread abundance!
Your prince
is the pure-handed priest of Inanna, heaven's Holy One,
Lord Ningishzida!
Oh, see how his thick, lustrous hair
cascades down his back!
Oh Gishbanda,
he has built this beautiful temple to house your radiance!
He has placed his throne upon your dais!
The Exaltation of Inanna: Opening Lines and Excerpts
by Enheduanna, the daughter of Sargon I of Akkad and the high priestess of the Goddess Inanna
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Lady of all divine powers!
Lady of the resplendent light!
Righteous Lady adorned in heavenly radiance!
Beloved Lady of An and Uraš!
Hierodule of An, sun-adorned and bejeweled!
Heaven’s Mistress with the holy diadem,
Who loves the beautiful headdress befitting the office of her own high priestess!
Powerful Mistress, seizer of the seven divine powers!
My Heavenly Lady, guardian of the seven divine powers!
You have seized the seven divine powers!
You hold the divine powers in your hand!
You have gathered together the seven divine powers!
You have clasped the divine powers to your breast!
You have flooded the valleys with venom, like a viper;
all vegetation vanishes when you thunder like Iškur!
You have caused the mountains to flood the valleys!
When you roar like that, nothing on earth can withstand you!
Like a flood descending on floodplains, O Powerful One, you will teach foreigners to fear Inanna!
You have given wings to the storm, O Beloved of Enlil!
The storms do your bidding, blasting the unbelievers!
Foreign cities cower at the chaos You cause!
Entire countries cower in dread of Your deadly South Wind!
Men cower before you in their anguished implications,
raising their pitiful outcries,
weeping and wailing, beseeching Your benevolence with many wild lamentations!
But in the van of battle, everything falls before You, O Mighty Queen!
My Queen,
You are all-conquering, all-devouring!
You continue Your attacks like relentless storms!
You howl louder than the howling storms!
You thunder louder than Iškur!
You moan louder than the mournful winds!
Your feet never tire from trampling Your enemies!
You produce much wailing on the lyres of lamentations!
My Queen,
all the Anunna, the mightiest Gods,
fled before Your approach like fluttering bats!
They could not stand in Your awesome Presence
nor behold Your awesome Visage!
Who can soothe Your infuriated heart?
Your baleful heart is beyond being soothed!
Uncontrollable Wild Cow, elder daughter of Sin,
O Majestic Queen, greater than An,
who has ever paid You enough homage?
O Life-Giving Goddess, possessor of all powers,
Inanna the Exalted!
Merciful, Live-Giving Mother!
Inanna, the Radiant of Heart!
I have exalted You in accordance with Your power!
I have bowed before You in my holy garb,
I the En, I Enheduanna!
Carrying my masab-basket, I once entered and uttered my joyous chants ...
But now I no longer dwell in Your sanctuary.
The sun rose and scorched me.
Night fell and the South Wind overwhelmed me.
My laughter was stilled and my honey-sweet voice grew strident.
My joy became dust.
O Sin, King of Heaven, how bitter my fate!
To An, I declared: An will deliver me!
I declared it to An: He will deliver me!
But now the kingship of heaven has been seized by Inanna,
at Whose feet the floodplains lie.
Inanna the Exalted,
who has made me tremble together with all Ur!
Stay Her anger, or let Her heart be soothed by my supplications!
I, Enheduanna will offer my supplications to Inanna,
my tears flowing like sweet intoxicants!
Yes, I will proffer my tears and my prayers to the Holy Inanna,
I will greet Her in peace ...
O My Queen, I have exalted You,
Who alone are worthy to be exalted!
O My Queen, Beloved of An,
I have laid out Your daises,
set fire to the coals,
conducted the rites,
prepared Your nuptial chamber.
Now may Your heart embrace me!
These are my innovations,
O Mighty Queen, that I made for You!
What I composed for You by the dark of night,
The cantor will chant by day.
Now Inanna’s heart has been restored,
and the day became favorable to Her.
Clothed in beauty, radiant with joy,
she carried herself like the elegant moonlight.
Now to the Noble Hierodule,
to the Wrecker of foreign lands
presented by An with the seven divine powers,
and to my Queen garbed in the radiance of heaven ...
O Inanna, praise!
The Exaltation of Inanna: Opening Lines, an Excerpt
Nin-me-šara by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
Lady of all divine powers,
Lady of the all-resplendent light,
Righteous Lady clothed in heavenly radiance,
Beloved Lady of An and Uraš,
Mistress of heaven with the holy diadem,
Who loves the beautiful headdress befitting the office of her high priestess,
Powerful Mistress who has seized all seven divine powers,
My lady, you are the guardian of the seven divine powers!
You have seized the divine powers,
You hold the divine powers in your hand,
You have gathered up the divine powers,
You have clasped the divine powers to your breast!
Like a dragon you have spewed venom on foreign lands that know you not!
When you roar like Iškur at the earth, nothing can withstand you!
Like a flood descending on alien lands, O Powerful One of heaven and earth, you will teach them to fear Inanna!
Temple Hymn 7: an Excerpt
to the Kesh Temple of Ninhursag
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, high-situated Kesh,
form-shifting summit,
inspiring fear like a venomous viper!
O, Lady of the Mountains,
Ninhursag’s house was constructed on a terrifying site!
O, Kesh, like holy Aratta: your womb dark and deep,
your walls high-towering and imposing!
O, great lion of the wildlands stalking the high plains!...
Temple Hymn 17: an Excerpt
to the Badtibira Temple of Dumuzi
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, house of jeweled lapis illuminating the radiant bed
in the peace-inducing palace of our Lady of the Steppe!
Temple Hymn 22: an Excerpt
to the Sirara Temple of Nanshe
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, house, you wild cow!
Made to conjure signs of the Divine!
You arise, beautiful to behold,
bedecked for your Mistress!
Temple Hymn 26: an Excerpt
to the Zabalam Temple of Inanna
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O house illuminated by beams of bright light,
dressed in shimmering stone jewels,
awakening the world to awe!
Temple Hymn 42: an Excerpt
to the Eresh Temple of Nisaba
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, house of brilliant stars
bright with lapis stones,
you illuminate all lands!
...
The person who put this tablet together
is Enheduanna.
My king: something never created before,
did she not give birth to it?
Update of "A Litany in Time of Plague"
by Michael R. Burch
THE PLAGUE has come again
To darken lives of men
and women, girls and boys;
Death proves their bodies toys
Too frail to even cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
Tycoons, what use is wealth?
You cannot buy good health!
Physicians cannot heal
Themselves, to Death must kneel.
Nuns’ prayers mount to the sky.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
Beauty’s brightest flower?
Devoured in an hour.
Kings, Queens and Presidents
Are fearful residents
Of manors boarded high.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
We have no means to save
Our children from the grave.
Though cure-alls line our shelves,
We cannot save ourselves.
"Come, come!" the sad bells cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
NOTE: This poem is meant to capture the understandable fear and dismay the Plague caused in the Middle Ages, and which the coronavirus has caused in the 21st century. We are better equipped to deal with this modern plague, thanks to advances in science, medicine and sanitation. We do not have to succumb to fear, but it would be wise to have a healthy respect for the nasty bug and heed the advice of medical experts.--MRB
Regret
by Michael R. Burch
Regret,
a bitter
ache to bear . . .
once starlight
languished
in your hair . . .
a shining there
as brief
as rare.
Regret . . .
a pain
I chose to bear . . .
unleash
the torrent
of your hair . . .
and show me
once again―
how rare.
Published by The HyperTexts and The Chained Muse
The Stake
by Michael R. Burch
Love, the heart bets,
if not without regrets,
will still prove, in the end,
worth the light we expend
mining the dark
for an exquisite heart.
Originally published by The Lyric
If
by Michael R. Burch
If I regret
fire in the sunset
exploding on the horizon,
then let me regret loving you.
If I forget
even for a moment
that you are the only one,
then let me forget that the sky is blue.
If I should yearn
in a season of discontentment
for the vagabond light of a companionless moon,
let dawn remind me that you are my sun.
If I should burn―one moment less brightly,
one instant less true―
then with wild scorching kisses,
inflame me, inflame me, inflame me anew.
Originally published by The HyperTexts
The Effects of Memory
by Michael R. Burch
A black ringlet
curls to lie
at the nape of her neck,
glistening with sweat
in the evaporate moonlight ...
This is what I remember
now that I cannot forget.
And tonight,
if I have forgotten her name,
I remember:
rigid wire and white lace
half-impressed in her flesh ...
our soft cries, like regret,
... the enameled white clips
of her bra strap
still inscribe dimpled marks
that my kisses erase ...
now that I have forgotten her face.
Villanelle: Because Her Heart Is Tender
by Michael R. Burch
for Beth
She scrawled soft words in soap: "Never Forget,"
Dove-white on her car's window, and the wren,
because her heart is tender, might regret
it called the sun to wake her. As I slept,
she heard lost names recounted, one by one.
She wrote in sidewalk chalk: "Never Forget,"
and kept her heart's own counsel. No rain swept
away those words, no tear leaves them undone.
Because her heart is tender with regret,
bruised by razed towers' glass and steel and stone
that shatter on and on and on and on,
she stitches in wet linen: "NEVER FORGET,"
and listens to her heart's emphatic song.
The wren might tilt its head and sing along
because its heart once understood regret
when fledglings fell beyond, beyond, beyond ...
its reach, and still the boot-heeled world strode on.
She writes in adamant: "NEVER FORGET"
because her heart is tender with regret.
To the boy Elis
by Georg Trakl
translation by Michael R. Burch
Elis, when the blackbird cries from the black forest,
it announces your downfall.
Your lips sip the rock-spring's blue coolness.
Your brow sweats blood
recalling ancient myths
and dark interpretations of birds' flight.
Yet you enter the night with soft footfalls;
the ripe purple grapes hang suspended
as you wave your arms more beautifully in the blueness.
A thornbush crackles;
where now are your moonlike eyes?
How long, oh Elis, have you been dead?
A monk dips waxed fingers
into your body's hyacinth;
Our silence is a black abyss
from which sometimes a docile animal emerges
slowly lowering its heavy lids.
A black dew drips from your temples:
the lost gold of vanished stars.
TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: I believe that in the second stanza the blood on Elis's forehead may be a reference to the apprehensive ****** sweat of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. If my interpretation is correct, Elis hears the blackbird's cries, anticipates the danger represented by a harbinger of death, but elects to continue rather than turn back. From what I have been able to gather, the color blue had a special significance for Georg Trakl: it symbolized longing and perhaps a longing for death. The colors blue, purple and black may represent a progression toward death in the poem.
Turkish Poetry Translations
Attilâ İlhan (1925-2005) was a Turkish poet, translator, novelist, screenwriter, editor, journalist, essayist, reviewer, socialist and intellectual.
Ben Sana Mecburum: “You are indispensable”
by Attila Ilhan
translation by Nurgül Yayman and Michael R. Burch
You are indispensable; how can you not know
that you’re like nails riveting my brain?
I see your eyes as ever-expanding dimensions.
You are indispensable; how can you not know
that I burn within, at the thought of you?
Trees prepare themselves for autumn;
can this city be our lost Istanbul?
Now clouds disintegrate in the darkness
as the street lights flicker
and the streets reek with rain.
You are indispensable, and yet you are absent ...
Love sometimes seems akin to terror:
a man tires suddenly at nightfall,
of living enslaved to the razor at his neck.
Sometimes he wrings his hands,
expunging other lives from his existence.
Sometimes whichever door he knocks
echoes back only heartache.
A screechy phonograph is playing in Fatih ...
a song about some Friday long ago.
I stop to listen from a vacant corner,
longing to bring you an untouched sky,
but time disintegrates in my hands.
Whatever I do, wherever I go,
you are indispensable, and yet you are absent ...
Are you the blue child of June?
Ah, no one knows you―no one knows!
Your deserted eyes are like distant freighters ...
Perhaps you are boarding in Yesilköy?
Are you drenched there, shivering with the rain
that leaves you blind, beset, broken,
with wind-disheveled hair?
Whenever I think of life
seated at the wolves’ table,
shameless, yet without soiling our hands ...
Yes, whenever I think of life,
I begin with your name, defying the silence,
and your secret tides surge within me
making this voyage inevitable.
You are indispensable; how can you not know?
Fragments
by Attila Ilhan
loose English translations/interpretations by Michael R. Burch
The night is a cloudy-feathered owl,
its quills like fine-spun glass.
It gazes out the window,
perched on my right shoulder,
its wings outspread and huge.
If the encroaching darkness seems devastating at first glance,
the sovereign of everything,
its reach infinite ...
Still somewhere within a kernel of light glows secretly
creating an enlightened forest of dialectics.
In September’s waning days one thinks wanly of the arrival of fall
like a ship appearing on the horizon with untrimmed, tattered sails;
for some unfathomable reason fall is the time to consider one’s own demise―
the body smothered by yellowed leaves like a corpse rotting in a ghoulish photograph ...
Bitter words
crack like whips
snapping across prison yards ...
Then there are words like pomegranate trees in bloom,
words like the sun igniting the sea beyond mountainous horizons,
flashing like mysterious knives ...
Such words are the burning roses of an infinite imagination;
they are born and they die with the flutterings of butterflies;
we carry those words in our hearts like pregnant shotguns until the day we expire,
martyred for the words we were prepared to die for ...
What I wrote and what you understood? Curious and curiouser!
Mehmet Akif Ersoy: Modern English Translations of Turkish Poems
Mehmet Âkif Ersoy (1873-1936) was a Turkish poet, author, writer, academic, member of parliament, and the composer of the Turkish National Anthem.
Snapshot
by Mehmet Akif Ersoy
loose English translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Earth’s least trace of life cannot be erased;
even when you lie underground, it encompasses you.
So, those of you who anticipate the shadows,
how long will the darkness remember you?
Zulmü Alkislayamam
"I Can’t Applaud Tyranny"
by Mehmet Akif Ersoy
loose English translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I can't condone cruelty; I will never applaud the oppressor;
Yet I can't renounce the past for the sake of deluded newcomers.
When someone curses my ancestors, I want to strangle them,
Even if you don’t.
But while I harbor my elders,
I refuse to praise their injustices.
Above all, I will never glorify evil, by calling injustice “justice.”
From the day of my birth, I've loved freedom;
The golden tulip never deceived me.
If I am nonviolent, does that make me a docile sheep?
The blade may slice, but my neck resists!
When I see someone else's wound, I suffer a great hardship;
To end it, I'll be whipped, I'll be beaten.
I can't say, “Never mind, just forget it!” I'll mind,
I'll crush, I'll be crushed, I'll uphold justice.
I'm the foe of the oppressor, the friend of the oppressed.
What the hell do you mean, with your backwardness?
Çanakkale Sehitlerine
"For the Çanakkale Martyrs"
by Mehmet Akif Ersoy
loose English translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Was there ever anything like the Bosphorus war?―
The earth’s mightiest armies pressing Marmara,
Forcing entry between her mountain passes
To a triangle of land besieged by countless vessels.
Oh, what dishonorable assemblages!
Who are these Europeans, come as rapists?
Who, these braying hyenas, released from their reeking cages?
Why do the Old World, the New World, and all the nations of men
now storm her beaches? Is it Armageddon? Truly, the whole world rages!
Seven nations marching in unison!
Australia goose-stepping with Canada!
Different faces, languages, skin tones!
Everything so different, but the mindless bludgeons!
Some warriors Hindu, some African, some nameless, unknown!
This disgraceful invasion, baser than the Black Death!
Ah, the 20th century, so noble in its own estimation,
But all its favored ones nothing but a parade of worthless wretches!
For months now Turkish soldiers have been vomited up
Like stomachs’ retched contents regarded with shame.
If the masks had not been torn away, the faces would still be admired,
But the ***** called civilization is far from blameless.
Now the ****** demand the destruction of the doomed
And thus bring destruction down on their own heads.
Lightning severs horizons!
Earthquakes regurgitate the bodies of the dead!
Bombs’ thunderbolts explode brains,
rupture the ******* of brave soldiers.
Underground tunnels writhe like hell
Full of the bodies of burn victims.
The sky rains down death, the earth swallows the living.
A terrible blizzard heaves men violently into the air.
Heads, eyes, torsos, legs, arms, chins, fingers, hands, feet ...
Body parts rain down everywhere.
Coward hands encased in armor callously scatter
Floods of thunderbolts, torrents of fire.
Men’s chests gape open,
Beneath the high, circling vulture-like packs of the air.
Cannonballs fly as frequently as bullets
Yet the heroic army laughs at the hail.
Who needs steel fortresses? Who fears the enemy?
How can the shield of faith not prevail?
What power can make religious men bow down to their oppressors
When their stronghold is established by God?
The mountains and the rocks are the bodies of martyrs! ...
For the sake of a crescent, oh God, many suns set, undone!
Dear soldier, who fell for the sake of this land,
How great you are, your blood saves the Muslims!
Only the lions of Bedr rival your glory!
Who then can dig the grave wide enough to hold you. and your story?
If we try to consign you to history, you will not fit!
No book can contain the eras you shook!
Only eternities can encompass you! ...
Oh martyr, son of the martyr, do not ask me about the grave:
The prophet awaits you now, his arms flung wide open, to save!
Sessiz Gemi (“Silent Ship”)
by Yahya Kemal Beyatli
loose translation by Nurgül Yayman and Michael R. Burch
for the refugees
The time to weigh anchor has come;
a ship departing harbor slips quietly out into the unknown,
cruising noiselessly, its occupants already ghosts.
No flourished handkerchiefs acknowledge their departure;
the landlocked mourners stand nurturing their grief,
scanning the bleak horizon, their eyes blurring ...
Poor souls! Desperate hearts! But this is hardly the last ship departing!
There is always more pain to unload in this sorrowful life!
The hesitations of lovers and their belovèds are futile,
for they cannot know where the vanished are bound.
Many hopes must be quenched by the distant waves,
since years must pass, and no one returns from this journey.
Full Moon
by Yahya Kemal Beyatli
loose translation by Nurgül Yayman and Michael R. Burch
You are so lovely
the full moon just might
delight
in your rising,
as curious
and bright,
to vanquish night.
But what can a mortal man do,
dear,
but hope?
I’ll ponder your mysteries
and (hmmmm) try to
cope.
We both know
you have every right to say no.
The Music of the Snow
by Yahya Kemal Beyatli
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
This melody of a night lasting longer than a thousand years!
This music of the snow supposed to last for thousand years!
Sorrowful as the prayers of a secluded monastery,
It rises from a choir of a hundred voices!
As the *****’s harmonies resound profoundly,
I share the sufferings of Slavic grief.
My mind drifts far from this city, this era,
To the old records of Tanburi Cemil Bey.
Now I’m suddenly overjoyed as once again I hear,
With the ears of my heart, the purest sounds of Istanbul!
Thoughts of the snow and darkness depart me;
I keep them at bay all night with my dreams!
Translator’s notes: “Slavic grief” because Beyatli wrote this poem while in Warsaw, serving as Turkey’s ambassador to Poland, in 1927. Tanburi Cemil Bey was a Turkish composer.
Thinking of you
by Nazim Hikmet
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Thinking of you is beautiful, hopeful―
like listening to the most beautiful songs
sung by the earth's most beautiful voices.
But hope is insufficient for me now;
I don't want to listen to songs.
I want to sing love into birth.
I love you
by Nazim Hikmet
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I love you―
like dipping bread into salt and eating;
like waking at night with a raging fever
and thirstily lapping up water, my mouth to the silver tap;
like unwrapping the unwieldy box the postman delivers,
unable to guess what's inside,
feeling fluttery, happy, doubtful.
I love you―
like flying over the sea the first time
as something stirs within me
while the sky softly darkens over Istanbul.
I love you―
as men thank God gratefully for life.
Sparrow
by Nazim Hikmet
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Little sparrow,
perched on the clothesline,
do you regard me with pity?
Even so, I will watch you
soar away through the white spring leaves.
The Divan of the Lover
the oldest extant Turkish poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
All the universe as one great sign is shown:
God revealed in his creative acts unknown.
Who sees or understands them, jinn or men?
Such works lie far beyond mere mortals’ ken.
Nor can man’s mind or reason reach that strand,
Nor mortal tongue name Him who rules that land.
Since He chose nothingness with life to vest,
who dares to trouble God with worms’ behests?
For eighteen thousand worlds, lain end to end,
Do not with Him one atom's worth transcend!
Fragment
by Prince Jem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Behold! The torrent, dashing against the rocks, flails wildly.
The entire vast realm of Space and Being oppresses my soul idly.
Through bitterness of grief and woe the sky has rent its morning robe.
Look! See how in its eastern palace, the sun is a ****** globe!
The clouds of heaven rain bright tears on the distant mountain peaks.
Oh, hear how the deeply wounded thunder slowly, mournfully speaks!
An Ecstasy of Fumbling
by Michael R. Burch
The poets believe
everything resolves to metaphor—
a distillation,
a vapor
beyond filtration,
though perhaps not quite as volatile as before.
The poets conceive
of death in the trenches
as the price of art,
not war,
fumbling with their masque-like
dissertations
to describe the Hollywood-like gore
as something beyond belief,
abstracting concrete bunkers to Achaemenid bas-relief.
Excerpts from “Travels with Einstein”
by Michael R. Burch
for Trump
I went to Berlin to learn wisdom
from Adolph. The wild spittle flew
as he screamed at me, with great conviction:
“Please despise me! I look like a Jew!”
So I flew off to ’Nam to learn wisdom
from tall Yankees who cursed “yellow” foes.
“If we lose this small square,” they informed me,
earth’s nations will fall, dominoes!”
I then sat at Christ’s feet to learn wisdom,
but his Book, from its genesis to close,
said: “Men can enslave their own brothers!”
(I soon noticed he lacked any clothes.)
So I traveled to bright Tel Aviv
where great scholars with lofty IQs
informed me that (since I’m an Arab)
I’m unfit to lick dirt from their shoes.
At last, done with learning, I stumbled
to a well where the waters seemed sweet:
the mirage of American “justice.”
There I wept a real sea, in defeat.
Originally published by Café Dissensus
The Leveler
by Michael R. Burch
The nature of Nature
is bitter survival
from Winter’s bleak fury
till Spring’s brief revival.
The weak implore Fate;
bold men ravish, dishevel her . . .
till both are cut down
by mere ticks of the Leveler.
I believe I wrote this poem around age 20, in 1978 or thereabouts. It has since been published in The Lyric, Tucumcari Literary Review, Romantics Quarterly and The Aurorean.
The Hippopotami
by Michael R. Burch
There’s no seeing eye to eye
with the awesomely huge Hippopotami:
on the bank, you’re much taller;
going under, you’re smaller
and assuredly destined to die!
Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch
There once was a camel who loved to ****.
Please get your lewd minds out of their slump!
He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump!
The Echoless Green
by Michael R. Burch
for and after William Blake
At dawn, laughter rang
on the echoing green
as children at play
greeted the day.
At noon, smiles were seen
on the echoing green
as, children no more,
many fine vows they swore.
By twilight, their cries
had subsided to sighs.
Now night reigns supreme
on the echoless green.
Unlikely Mike
by Michael R. Burch
I married someone else’s fantasy;
she admired me despite my mutilations.
I loved her for her heart’s sake, and for mine.
I hid my face and changed its connotations.
And in the dark I danced—slight, Chaplinesque—
a metaphor myself. How could they know,
the undiscerning ones, that in the glow
of spotlights, sometimes love becomes burlesque?
Disfigured to my soul, I could not lose
or choose or name myself; I came to be
another of life’s odd dichotomies,
like Dickey’s Sheep Boy, Pan, or David Cruse:
as pale, as enigmatic. White, or black?
My color was a song, a changing track.
Spring Was Delayed
by Michael R. Burch
Winter came early:
the driving snows,
the delicate frosts
that crystallize
all we forget
or refuse to know,
all we regret
that makes us wise.
Spring was delayed:
the nubile rose,
the tentative sun,
the wind’s soft sighs,
all we omit
or refuse to show,
whatever we shield
behind guarded eyes.
Originally published by Borderless Journal
The Shijing or **** Jing (“Book of Songs” or “Book of Odes”) is the oldest Chinese poetry collection, with the poems included believed to date from around 1200 BC to 600 BC. According to tradition the poems were selected and edited by Confucius himself. Since most ancient poetry did not rhyme, these may be the world’s oldest extant rhyming poems.
Shijing Ode #4: “JIU MU”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
In the South, beneath trees with drooping branches
thick with vines that make them shady,
we find our lovely princely lady:
May she repose in happiness!
In the South, beneath trees with drooping branches
whose clinging vines make hot days shady,
we wish love’s embrace for our lovely lady:
May she repose in happiness!
In the South, beneath trees with drooping branches
whose vines, entwining, make them shady,
we wish true love for our lovely lady:
May she repose in happiness!
Shijing Ode #6: “TAO YAO”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
The peach tree is elegant and tender;
its flowers are fragrant, and bright.
A young lady now enters her future home
and will manage it well, day and night.
The peach tree is elegant and tender;
its fruits are abundant, and sweet.
A young lady now enters her future home
and will make it welcome to everyone she greets.
The peach tree is elegant and tender;
it shelters with bough, leaf and flower.
A young lady now enters her future home
and will make it her family’s bower.
Shijing Ode #9: “HAN GUANG”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
In the South tall trees without branches
offer men no shelter.
By the Han the girls loiter,
but it’s vain to entice them.
For the breadth of the Han
cannot be swum
and the length of the Jiang
requires more than a raft.
When cords of firewood are needed,
I would cut down tall thorns to bring them more.
Those girls on their way to their future homes?
I would feed their horses.
But the breadth of the Han
cannot be swum
and the length of the Jiang
requires more than a raft.
When cords of firewood are needed,
I would cut down tall trees to bring them more.
Those girls on their way to their future homes?
I would feed their colts.
But the breadth of the Han
cannot be swum
and the length of the Jiang
requires more than a raft.
Shijing Ode #10: “RU FEN”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
By raised banks of the Ru,
I cut down branches in the brake.
Not seeing my lord
caused me heartache.
By raised banks of the Ru,
I cut down branches by the tide.
When I saw my lord at last,
he did not cast me aside.
The bream flashes its red tail;
the royal court’s a blazing fire.
Though it blazes afar,
still his loved ones are near ...
It was apparently believed that the bream’s tail turned red when it was in danger. Here the term “lord” does not necessarily mean the man in question was a royal himself. Chinese women of that era often called their husbands “lord.” Take, for instance, Ezra Pound’s famous loose translation “The River Merchant’s Wife.” Speaking of Pound, I borrowed the word “brake” from his translation of this poem, although I worked primarily from more accurate translations. In the final line, it may be that the wife or lover is suggesting that no matter what happens, the man in question will have a place to go, or perhaps she is urging him to return regardless. The original poem had “mother and father” rather than “family” or “loved ones,” but in those days young married couples often lived with the husband’s parents. So a suggestion to return to his parents could be a suggestion to return to his wife as well.
Shijing Ode #12: “QUE CHAO”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
The nest is the magpie's
but the dove occupies it.
A young lady’s soon heading to her future home;
a hundred carriages will attend her.
The nest is the magpie's
but the dove takes it over.
A young lady’s soon heading to her future home;
a hundred carriages will escort her.
The nest is the magpie's
but the dove possesses it.
A young lady’s soon heading to her future home;
a hundred carriages complete her procession.
Shijing Ode #26: “BO ZHOU” from “The Odes of Bei”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
This cypress-wood boat floats about,
meandering with the current.
Meanwhile, I am distraught and sleepless,
as if inflicted with a painful wound.
Not because I have no wine,
and can’t wander aimlessly about!
But my mind is not a mirror
able to echo all impressions.
Yes, I have brothers,
but they are undependable.
I meet their anger with silence.
My mind is not a stone
to be easily cast aside.
My mind is not a mat
to be conveniently rolled up.
My conduct so far has been exemplary,
with nothing to criticize.
Yet my anxious heart hesitates
because I’m hated by the herd,
inflicted with many distresses,
heaped with insults, not a few.
Silently I consider my case,
until, startled, as if from sleep, I clutch my breast.
Consider the sun and the moon:
how did the latter exceed the former?
Now sorrow clings to my heart
like an unwashed dress.
Silently I consider my options,
but lack the wings to fly away.
The Drawer of Mermaids
by Michael R. Burch
This poem is dedicated to Alina Karimova, who was born with severely deformed legs and five fingers missing. Alina loves to draw mermaids and believes her fingers will eventually grow out.
Although I am only four years old,
they say that I have an old soul.
I must have been born long, long ago,
here, where the eerie mountains glow
at night, in the Urals.
A madman named Geiger has cursed these slopes;
now, shut in at night, the emphatic ticking
fills us with dread.
(Still, my momma hopes
that I will soon walk with my new legs.)
It’s not so much legs as the fingers I miss,
drawing the mermaids under the ledges.
(Observing, Papa will kiss me
in all his distracted joy;
but why does he cry?)
And there is a boy
who whispers my name.
Then I am not lame;
for I leap, and I follow.
(G’amma brings a wiseman who says
our infirmities are ours, not God’s,
that someday a beautiful Child
will return from the stars,
and then my new fingers will grow
if only I trust Him; and so
I am preparing to meet Him, to go,
should He care to receive me.)
Keywords/Tags: mermaid, mermaids, child, children, childhood, Urals, Ural Mountains, soul, soulmate, radiation
On the Horns of a Dilemma (I)
by Michael R. Burch
Love has become preposterous
for the over-endowed rhinoceros:
when he meets the right miss
how the hell can he kiss
when his horn is so ***** it lofts her thus?
I need an artist or cartoonist to create an image of a male rhino lifting his prospective mate into the air during an abortive kiss. Any takers?
On the Horns of a Dilemma (II)
by Michael R. Burch
Love has become preposterous
for the over-endowed rhinoceros:
when he meets the right miss
how the hell can he kiss
when his horn deforms her esophagus?
On the Horns of a Dilemma (III)
by Michael R. Burch
A wino rhino said, “I know!
I have a horn I cannot blow!
And so,
ergo,
I’ll watch the lovely spigot flow!
The Horns of a Dilemma Solved, if not Solvent
by Michael R. Burch
A wine-addled rhino debated
the prospect of living unmated
due to the scorn
gals showed for his horn,
then lost it to poachers, sedated.
The Arrival of the Sea Lions
by Michael R. Burch
The sound
of hounds
resounds in the sound.
Hounds Impounded
by Michael R. Burch
The sound
of hounds
resounds
in the pound.
Prince Kiwi the Great
by Michael R. Burch
Kiwi’s
a ***-wee
but incredibly bright:
he sleeps half the day,
pretending it’s night!
Prince Kiwi
commands us
with his regal air:
“Come, humans, and serve me,
or I’ll yank your hair!”
Kiwi
cries “Kree! Kree!”
when he wants to be fed ...
suns, preens, flutters, showers,
then it’s off to bed.
Kiwi’s
a ***-wee
but incredibly bright:
he sleeps half the day,
pretending it’s night!
Kiwi is our family’s green-cheeked parakeet. Parakeets need to sleep around 12 hours per day, hence the pun on “bright” and “half the day.”
Ah! Sunflower
by Michael R. Burch
after William Blake
O little yellow flower
like a star ...
how beautiful,
how wonderful
we are!
Published as the collection "When Pigs Fly"
by Michael R. Burch
On the Trail of Tears,
my Cherokee brothers,
why hang your heads?
Why shame your mothers?
Laugh wildly instead!
We will soon be dead.
When we lie in our graves,
let the white-eyes take
the woodlands we loved
for the *** and the rake.
It is better to die
than to live out a lie
in so narrow a sty.
In October 1838 the Cherokees began to walk the "Trail of Tears." Most of them made the thousand mile journey west to Oklahoma on foot. An estimated 4,000 people, or a quarter of the tribe, died en route. The soldiers "escorting" the Cherokees at bayonet point refused permission for the dead to be buried, threatening to shoot anyone who disobeyed. So the living were forced to carry the corpses of the dead until camp was made for the night. Years after the Cherokees had been rounded up and driven down the Trail of Tears, John G. Burnett reflected on what he and his fellow soldiers had done, saying, "Schoolchildren of today do not know that we are living on lands that were taken from a helpless race at the bayonet point, to satisfy the white man's greed... ****** is ****** and somebody must answer, somebody must explain the streams of blood that flowed in the Indian country... Somebody must explain the four thousand silent graves that mark the trail of the Cherokees to their exile." Keywords/Tags: Cherokee, Native American, Trail of Tears, Ethnic Cleansing, Genocide, ******, Evil, Death, March, Death March, Infanticide, Matricide, Racism, Racist, Discrimination, Violence, Fascism, White Supremacists, Horror, Terror, Terrorism, Greed, Gluttony, Avarice, Lust, ****, mrbpig, mrbpigs
Cherokee Prayer
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
As I walk life's trails
imperiled by the raging wind and rain,
grant, O Great Spirit,
that yet I may always
walk like a man.
This prayer makes me think of Native Americans walking the Trail of Tears with far more courage and dignity than their “civilized” abusers.
Native American Prayer
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Help us learn the lessons you have left us
in every leaf and rock.
Native American Travelers' Blessing
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Let us walk together here
among earth's creatures great and small,
remembering, our footsteps light,
that one wise God created all.
Sioux Vision Quest
by Crazy Horse, Oglala Lakota Sioux, circa 1840-1877
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
A man must pursue his Vision
as the eagle explores
the sky's deepest blues.
Cherokee Travelers' Blessing I
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I will extract the thorns from your feet.
For yet a little while, we will walk life's sunlit paths together.
I will love you like my own brother, my own blood.
When you are disconsolate, I will wipe the tears from your eyes.
And when you are too sad to live, I will put your aching heart to rest.
Published by Better Than Starbucks and Cherokee Native Americans
Cherokee Travelers' Blessing II
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Happily may you walk
in the paths of the Rainbow.
Oh,
and may it always be beautiful before you,
beautiful behind you,
beautiful below you,
beautiful above you,
and beautiful all around you
where in Perfection beauty is finished.
Published by Better Than Starbucks
Cherokee Travelers' Blessing III
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
May Heaven’s warming winds blow gently there,
where you reside,
and may the Great Spirit bless all those you love,
this side of the farthest tide.
And wherever you go,
whether the journey is fast or slow,
may your moccasins leave many cunning footprints in the snow.
And when you look over your shoulder, may you always find the Rainbow.
Published by Better Than Starbucks
What is life?
The flash of a firefly.
The breath of the winter buffalo.
The shadow scooting across the grass that vanishes with sunset.
―Blackfoot saying, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Warrior's Confession
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Oh my love, how fair you are—
far brighter than the fairest star!
Cherokee Proverb
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Before you judge
a man for his sins
be sure to trudge
many moons in his moccasins.
Cherokee Prayer
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
As I walk life's trails
imperiled by the raging wind and rain,
grant, O Great Spirit,
that yet I may always
walk like a man.
When I think of this prayer, I think of Native Americans walking the Trail of Tears.
The Receiving of the Flower
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Let us sing overflowing with joy
as we observe the Receiving of the Flower.
The lovely maidens beam;
their hearts leap in their *******.
Why?
Because they will soon yield their virginity to the men they love!
The Deflowering
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Remove your clothes;
let down your hair;
become as naked as the day you were born—
virgins!
Prelude to *******
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Lay out your most beautiful clothes,
maidens!
The day of happiness has arrived!
Grab your combs, detangle your hair,
adorn your earlobes with gaudy pendants.
Dress in white as becomes maidens ...
Then go, give your lovers the happiness of your laughter!
And all the village will rejoice with you,
for the day of happiness has arrived!
The Flower-Strewn Pool
excerpt from a Mayan love poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
You have arrived at last in the woods
where no one can see what you do
at the flower-strewn pool ...
Remove your clothes,
unbraid your hair,
become as you were
when you first arrived here
naked and shameless,
virgins, maidens!
Native American Proverbs
The soul would see no Rainbows if not for the eyes’ tears.
—loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
A woman’s highest calling is to help her man unite with the Source.
A man’s highest calling is to help his woman walk the earth unharmed.
—loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
When you were born, you cried and the world rejoiced.
Live your life so that when you die, the world cries and you rejoice.
—White Elk, loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
What is life?
The flash of a firefly.
The breath of a winter buffalo.
The shadow scooting across the grass that vanishes with sunset.
—Blackfoot saying, translation by Michael R. Burch
Speak less thunder, wield more lightning. — Apache proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
The more we wonder, the more we understand. — Arapaho proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Adults talk, children whine. — Blackfoot proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Don’t be afraid to cry: it will lessen your sorrow. — Hopi proverb
One foot in the boat, one foot in the canoe, and you end up in the river. — Tuscarora proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Our enemy's weakness increases our strength. — Cherokee proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
We will be remembered tomorrow by the tracks we leave today. — Dakota proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
No sound's as eloquent as a rattlesnake's tail. — Navajo saying, translation by Michael R. Burch
The heart is our first teacher. — Cheyenne proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Dreams beget success. — Maricopa proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Knowledge interprets the past, wisdom foresees the future. — Lumbee proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
The troublemaker's way is thorny. — Umpqua proverb, translation by Michael R. Burch
Earthbound
an original poem by Michael R. Burch
Tashunka Witko, better known as Crazy Horse, had a vision of a red-tailed hawk at Sylvan Lake, South Dakota. In his vision he saw himself riding a spirit horse, flying through a storm, as the hawk flew above him, shrieking. When he awoke, a red-tailed hawk was perched near his horse.
Earthbound,
and yet I now fly
through the clouds that are aimlessly drifting ...
so high
that no sound
echoing by
below where the mountains are lifting
the sky
can be heard.
Like a bird,
but not meek,
like a hawk from a distance regarding its prey,
I will shriek,
not a word,
but a screech,
and my terrible clamor will turn them to clay—
the sheep,
the earthbound.
Years after the Cherokees had been rounded up and driven down the Trail of Tears, John G. Burnett reflected on what he and his fellow soldiers had done, saying, "Schoolchildren of today do not know that we are living on lands that were taken from a helpless race at the bayonet point, to satisfy the white man's greed ... ****** is ****** and somebody must answer, somebody must explain the streams of blood that flowed in the Indian country ... Somebody must explain the four thousand silent graves that mark the trail of the Cherokees to their exile."
In the same year, 1830, that Stonewall Jackson consigned Native Americans to the ash-heap of history, Georgia Governor George Gilmer said, "Treaties are expedients by which ignorant, intractable, and savage people are induced ... to yield up what civilized people have the right to possess." By "civilized" he apparently meant people willing to brutally dispossess and **** women and children in order to derive economic benefits for themselves.
These nights bring dreams of Cherokee shamans
whose names are bright verbs and impacted dark nouns,
whose memories are indictments of my pallid flesh . . .
and I hear, as from a great distance,
the cries tortured from their guileless lips, proclaiming
the nature of my mutation.
―Michael R. Burch, from "Mongrel Dreams" (my family is part Cherokee, English and Scottish)
After Jackson was re-elected with an overwhelming majority in 1832, he strenuously pursued his policy of removing Native Americans, even refusing to accept a Supreme Court ruling which invalidated Georgia's planned annexation of Cherokee land. But in the double-dealing logic of the white supremacists, they had to make the illegal resettlement of the Indians appear to be "legal," so a small group of Cherokees were persuaded to sign the "Treaty of New Echota," which swapped Cherokee land for land in the Oklahoma territory. The Cherokee ringleaders of this infamous plot were later assassinated as traitors. (****** was similarly obsessed with the "legalities" of the **** Holocaust; isn't it strange how mass murderers of women and children can seek to justify their crimes?)
Native Americans understood the "circle of life" better than their white oppressors ...
When we sit in the Circle of the People,
we must be responsible because all Creation is related
and the suffering of one is the suffering of all
and the joy of one is the joy of all
and whatever we do affects everything in the universe.
—"Lakota Instructions for Living" by White Buffalo Calf Woman, translated by Michael R. Burch
Veiled
by Michael R. Burch
She has belief
without comprehension
and in her crutchwork shack
she is
much like us . . .
tamping the bread
into edible forms,
regarding her children
at play
with something akin to relief . . .
ignoring the towers ablaze
in the distance
because they are not revelations
but things of glass,
easily shattered . . .
and if you were to ask her,
she might say:
sometimes God visits his wrath
upon an impious nation
for its leaders’ sins,
and we might agree:
seeing her mutilations.
Published by Poetry Super Highway and Modern War Poems.
Ali’s Song
by Michael R. Burch
They say that gold don’t tarnish. It ain’t so.
They say it has a wild, unearthly glow.
A man can be more beautiful, more wild.
I flung their medal to the river, child.
I flung their medal to the river, child.
They hung their coin around my neck; they made
my name a bridle, “called a ***** a *****.”
They say their gold is pure. I say defiled.
I flung their slave’s name to the river, child.
I flung their slave’s name to the river, child.
Ain’t got no quarrel with no Viet Cong
that never called me ******, did me wrong.
A man can’t be lukewarm, ’cause God hates mild.
I flung their notice to the river, child.
I flung their notice to the river, child.
They said, “Now here’s your bullet and your gun,
and there’s your cell: we’re waiting, you choose one.”
At first I groaned aloud, but then I smiled.
I gave their “future” to the river, child.
I gave their “future” to the river, child.
My face reflected up, dark bronze like gold,
a coin God stamped in His own image―BOLD.
My blood boiled like that river―strange and wild.
I died to hate in that dark river, child,
Come, be reborn in this bright river, child.
Originally published by Black Medina
Note: Cassius Clay, who converted to Islam and changed his “slave name” to Muhammad Ali, said that he threw his Olympic boxing gold medal into the Ohio River. Confirming his account, the medal was recovered by Robert Bradbury and his wife Pattie in 2014 during the Annual Ohio River Sweep, and the Ali family paid them $200,000 to regain possession of the medal. When drafted during the Vietnamese War, Ali refused to serve, reputedly saying: “I ain't got no quarrel with those Viet Cong; no Vietnamese ever called me a ******.” The notice mentioned in my poem is Ali's draft notice, which metaphorically gets tossed into the river along with his slave name. I was told through the grapevine that this poem appeared in Farsi in an Iranian publication called Bashgah. ―Michael R. Burch
evol-u-shun
by Michael R. Burch
does GOD adore the Tyger
while it’s ripping ur lamb apart?
does GOD applaud the Plague
while it’s eating u à la carte?
does GOD admire ur intelligence
while u pray that IT has a heart?
does GOD endorse the Bible
you blue-lighted at k-mart?
Enheduanna, the daughter of the famous King Sargon the Great of Akkad, is the first ancient writer whose name remains known today. She appears to be the first named poet in human history and the first known author of prayers and hymns. Enheduanna, who lived circa 2285-2250 BCE, is also one of the first women we know by name.
Lament to the Spirit of War
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
You hack down everything you see, War God!
Rising on fearsome wings
you rush to destroy the land,
descending like a raging storm,
howling like a hurricane,
screaming like a tempest,
thundering, raging, ranting, drumming,
whiplashing whirlwinds!
Men falter at your approaching footsteps.
Tortured dirges scream
on your lyre of despair.
Like a fiery Salamander you poison the land:
growling over the earth like thunder,
vegetation collapsing before you,
blood gushing down a mountainside.
Spirit of hatred, greed and vengeance!
******* of heaven and earth!
Your ferocious fire consumes our land.
Whipping your stallion
with furious commands,
you decide our fate.
You triumph over all human rites and prayers.
Who can explain your tirade,
why you go on so?
Temple Hymn 15
to the Gishbanda Temple of Ningishzida
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
Most ancient and terrible shrine,
set deep in the mountain,
dark like a mother's womb...
Dark shrine,
like a mother's wounded breast,
blood-red and terrifying...
Though approaching through a safe-seeming field,
our hair stands on end as we near you!
Gishbanda,
like a neck-stock,
like a fine-eyed fish net,
like a foot-shackled prisoner's manacles...
your ramparts are massive,
like a trap!
But once we’re inside,
as the sun rises,
you yield widespread abundance!
Your prince
is the pure-handed priest of Inanna, heaven's Holy One,
Lord Ningishzida!
Oh, see how his thick, lustrous hair
cascades down his back!
Oh Gishbanda,
he has built this beautiful temple to house your radiance!
He has placed his throne upon your dais!
The Exaltation of Inanna: Opening Lines and Excerpts
by Enheduanna, the daughter of Sargon I of Akkad and the high priestess of the Goddess Inanna
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Lady of all divine powers!
Lady of the resplendent light!
Righteous Lady adorned in heavenly radiance!
Beloved Lady of An and Uraš!
Hierodule of An, sun-adorned and bejeweled!
Heaven’s Mistress with the holy diadem,
Who loves the beautiful headdress befitting the office of her own high priestess!
Powerful Mistress, seizer of the seven divine powers!
My Heavenly Lady, guardian of the seven divine powers!
You have seized the seven divine powers!
You hold the divine powers in your hand!
You have gathered together the seven divine powers!
You have clasped the divine powers to your breast!
You have flooded the valleys with venom, like a viper;
all vegetation vanishes when you thunder like Iškur!
You have caused the mountains to flood the valleys!
When you roar like that, nothing on earth can withstand you!
Like a flood descending on floodplains, O Powerful One, you will teach foreigners to fear Inanna!
You have given wings to the storm, O Beloved of Enlil!
The storms do your bidding, blasting the unbelievers!
Foreign cities cower at the chaos You cause!
Entire countries cower in dread of Your deadly South Wind!
Men cower before you in their anguished implications,
raising their pitiful outcries,
weeping and wailing, beseeching Your benevolence with many wild lamentations!
But in the van of battle, everything falls before You, O Mighty Queen!
My Queen,
You are all-conquering, all-devouring!
You continue Your attacks like relentless storms!
You howl louder than the howling storms!
You thunder louder than Iškur!
You moan louder than the mournful winds!
Your feet never tire from trampling Your enemies!
You produce much wailing on the lyres of lamentations!
My Queen,
all the Anunna, the mightiest Gods,
fled before Your approach like fluttering bats!
They could not stand in Your awesome Presence
nor behold Your awesome Visage!
Who can soothe Your infuriated heart?
Your baleful heart is beyond being soothed!
Uncontrollable Wild Cow, elder daughter of Sin,
O Majestic Queen, greater than An,
who has ever paid You enough homage?
O Life-Giving Goddess, possessor of all powers,
Inanna the Exalted!
Merciful, Live-Giving Mother!
Inanna, the Radiant of Heart!
I have exalted You in accordance with Your power!
I have bowed before You in my holy garb,
I the En, I Enheduanna!
Carrying my masab-basket, I once entered and uttered my joyous chants ...
But now I no longer dwell in Your sanctuary.
The sun rose and scorched me.
Night fell and the South Wind overwhelmed me.
My laughter was stilled and my honey-sweet voice grew strident.
My joy became dust.
O Sin, King of Heaven, how bitter my fate!
To An, I declared: An will deliver me!
I declared it to An: He will deliver me!
But now the kingship of heaven has been seized by Inanna,
at Whose feet the floodplains lie.
Inanna the Exalted,
who has made me tremble together with all Ur!
Stay Her anger, or let Her heart be soothed by my supplications!
I, Enheduanna will offer my supplications to Inanna,
my tears flowing like sweet intoxicants!
Yes, I will proffer my tears and my prayers to the Holy Inanna,
I will greet Her in peace ...
O My Queen, I have exalted You,
Who alone are worthy to be exalted!
O My Queen, Beloved of An,
I have laid out Your daises,
set fire to the coals,
conducted the rites,
prepared Your nuptial chamber.
Now may Your heart embrace me!
These are my innovations,
O Mighty Queen, that I made for You!
What I composed for You by the dark of night,
The cantor will chant by day.
Now Inanna’s heart has been restored,
and the day became favorable to Her.
Clothed in beauty, radiant with joy,
she carried herself like the elegant moonlight.
Now to the Noble Hierodule,
to the Wrecker of foreign lands
presented by An with the seven divine powers,
and to my Queen garbed in the radiance of heaven ...
O Inanna, praise!
The Exaltation of Inanna: Opening Lines, an Excerpt
Nin-me-šara by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
Lady of all divine powers,
Lady of the all-resplendent light,
Righteous Lady clothed in heavenly radiance,
Beloved Lady of An and Uraš,
Mistress of heaven with the holy diadem,
Who loves the beautiful headdress befitting the office of her high priestess,
Powerful Mistress who has seized all seven divine powers,
My lady, you are the guardian of the seven divine powers!
You have seized the divine powers,
You hold the divine powers in your hand,
You have gathered up the divine powers,
You have clasped the divine powers to your breast!
Like a dragon you have spewed venom on foreign lands that know you not!
When you roar like Iškur at the earth, nothing can withstand you!
Like a flood descending on alien lands, O Powerful One of heaven and earth, you will teach them to fear Inanna!
Temple Hymn 7: an Excerpt
to the Kesh Temple of Ninhursag
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, high-situated Kesh,
form-shifting summit,
inspiring fear like a venomous viper!
O, Lady of the Mountains,
Ninhursag’s house was constructed on a terrifying site!
O, Kesh, like holy Aratta: your womb dark and deep,
your walls high-towering and imposing!
O, great lion of the wildlands stalking the high plains!...
Temple Hymn 17: an Excerpt
to the Badtibira Temple of Dumuzi
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, house of jeweled lapis illuminating the radiant bed
in the peace-inducing palace of our Lady of the Steppe!
Temple Hymn 22: an Excerpt
to the Sirara Temple of Nanshe
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, house, you wild cow!
Made to conjure signs of the Divine!
You arise, beautiful to behold,
bedecked for your Mistress!
Temple Hymn 26: an Excerpt
to the Zabalam Temple of Inanna
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O house illuminated by beams of bright light,
dressed in shimmering stone jewels,
awakening the world to awe!
Temple Hymn 42: an Excerpt
to the Eresh Temple of Nisaba
by Enheduanna
loose translation by Michael R. Burch
O, house of brilliant stars
bright with lapis stones,
you illuminate all lands!
...
The person who put this tablet together
is Enheduanna.
My king: something never created before,
did she not give birth to it?
Update of "A Litany in Time of Plague"
by Michael R. Burch
THE PLAGUE has come again
To darken lives of men
and women, girls and boys;
Death proves their bodies toys
Too frail to even cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
Tycoons, what use is wealth?
You cannot buy good health!
Physicians cannot heal
Themselves, to Death must kneel.
Nuns’ prayers mount to the sky.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
Beauty’s brightest flower?
Devoured in an hour.
Kings, Queens and Presidents
Are fearful residents
Of manors boarded high.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
We have no means to save
Our children from the grave.
Though cure-alls line our shelves,
We cannot save ourselves.
"Come, come!" the sad bells cry.
I am sick, I must die.
Lord, have mercy on us!
NOTE: This poem is meant to capture the understandable fear and dismay the Plague caused in the Middle Ages, and which the coronavirus has caused in the 21st century. We are better equipped to deal with this modern plague, thanks to advances in science, medicine and sanitation. We do not have to succumb to fear, but it would be wise to have a healthy respect for the nasty bug and heed the advice of medical experts.--MRB
Regret
by Michael R. Burch
Regret,
a bitter
ache to bear . . .
once starlight
languished
in your hair . . .
a shining there
as brief
as rare.
Regret . . .
a pain
I chose to bear . . .
unleash
the torrent
of your hair . . .
and show me
once again―
how rare.
Published by The HyperTexts and The Chained Muse
The Stake
by Michael R. Burch
Love, the heart bets,
if not without regrets,
will still prove, in the end,
worth the light we expend
mining the dark
for an exquisite heart.
Originally published by The Lyric
If
by Michael R. Burch
If I regret
fire in the sunset
exploding on the horizon,
then let me regret loving you.
If I forget
even for a moment
that you are the only one,
then let me forget that the sky is blue.
If I should yearn
in a season of discontentment
for the vagabond light of a companionless moon,
let dawn remind me that you are my sun.
If I should burn―one moment less brightly,
one instant less true―
then with wild scorching kisses,
inflame me, inflame me, inflame me anew.
Originally published by The HyperTexts
The Effects of Memory
by Michael R. Burch
A black ringlet
curls to lie
at the nape of her neck,
glistening with sweat
in the evaporate moonlight ...
This is what I remember
now that I cannot forget.
And tonight,
if I have forgotten her name,
I remember:
rigid wire and white lace
half-impressed in her flesh ...
our soft cries, like regret,
... the enameled white clips
of her bra strap
still inscribe dimpled marks
that my kisses erase ...
now that I have forgotten her face.
Villanelle: Because Her Heart Is Tender
by Michael R. Burch
for Beth
She scrawled soft words in soap: "Never Forget,"
Dove-white on her car's window, and the wren,
because her heart is tender, might regret
it called the sun to wake her. As I slept,
she heard lost names recounted, one by one.
She wrote in sidewalk chalk: "Never Forget,"
and kept her heart's own counsel. No rain swept
away those words, no tear leaves them undone.
Because her heart is tender with regret,
bruised by razed towers' glass and steel and stone
that shatter on and on and on and on,
she stitches in wet linen: "NEVER FORGET,"
and listens to her heart's emphatic song.
The wren might tilt its head and sing along
because its heart once understood regret
when fledglings fell beyond, beyond, beyond ...
its reach, and still the boot-heeled world strode on.
She writes in adamant: "NEVER FORGET"
because her heart is tender with regret.
To the boy Elis
by Georg Trakl
translation by Michael R. Burch
Elis, when the blackbird cries from the black forest,
it announces your downfall.
Your lips sip the rock-spring's blue coolness.
Your brow sweats blood
recalling ancient myths
and dark interpretations of birds' flight.
Yet you enter the night with soft footfalls;
the ripe purple grapes hang suspended
as you wave your arms more beautifully in the blueness.
A thornbush crackles;
where now are your moonlike eyes?
How long, oh Elis, have you been dead?
A monk dips waxed fingers
into your body's hyacinth;
Our silence is a black abyss
from which sometimes a docile animal emerges
slowly lowering its heavy lids.
A black dew drips from your temples:
the lost gold of vanished stars.
TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: I believe that in the second stanza the blood on Elis's forehead may be a reference to the apprehensive ****** sweat of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane. If my interpretation is correct, Elis hears the blackbird's cries, anticipates the danger represented by a harbinger of death, but elects to continue rather than turn back. From what I have been able to gather, the color blue had a special significance for Georg Trakl: it symbolized longing and perhaps a longing for death. The colors blue, purple and black may represent a progression toward death in the poem.
Turkish Poetry Translations
Attilâ İlhan (1925-2005) was a Turkish poet, translator, novelist, screenwriter, editor, journalist, essayist, reviewer, socialist and intellectual.
Ben Sana Mecburum: “You are indispensable”
by Attila Ilhan
translation by Nurgül Yayman and Michael R. Burch
You are indispensable; how can you not know
that you’re like nails riveting my brain?
I see your eyes as ever-expanding dimensions.
You are indispensable; how can you not know
that I burn within, at the thought of you?
Trees prepare themselves for autumn;
can this city be our lost Istanbul?
Now clouds disintegrate in the darkness
as the street lights flicker
and the streets reek with rain.
You are indispensable, and yet you are absent ...
Love sometimes seems akin to terror:
a man tires suddenly at nightfall,
of living enslaved to the razor at his neck.
Sometimes he wrings his hands,
expunging other lives from his existence.
Sometimes whichever door he knocks
echoes back only heartache.
A screechy phonograph is playing in Fatih ...
a song about some Friday long ago.
I stop to listen from a vacant corner,
longing to bring you an untouched sky,
but time disintegrates in my hands.
Whatever I do, wherever I go,
you are indispensable, and yet you are absent ...
Are you the blue child of June?
Ah, no one knows you―no one knows!
Your deserted eyes are like distant freighters ...
Perhaps you are boarding in Yesilköy?
Are you drenched there, shivering with the rain
that leaves you blind, beset, broken,
with wind-disheveled hair?
Whenever I think of life
seated at the wolves’ table,
shameless, yet without soiling our hands ...
Yes, whenever I think of life,
I begin with your name, defying the silence,
and your secret tides surge within me
making this voyage inevitable.
You are indispensable; how can you not know?
Fragments
by Attila Ilhan
loose English translations/interpretations by Michael R. Burch
The night is a cloudy-feathered owl,
its quills like fine-spun glass.
It gazes out the window,
perched on my right shoulder,
its wings outspread and huge.
If the encroaching darkness seems devastating at first glance,
the sovereign of everything,
its reach infinite ...
Still somewhere within a kernel of light glows secretly
creating an enlightened forest of dialectics.
In September’s waning days one thinks wanly of the arrival of fall
like a ship appearing on the horizon with untrimmed, tattered sails;
for some unfathomable reason fall is the time to consider one’s own demise―
the body smothered by yellowed leaves like a corpse rotting in a ghoulish photograph ...
Bitter words
crack like whips
snapping across prison yards ...
Then there are words like pomegranate trees in bloom,
words like the sun igniting the sea beyond mountainous horizons,
flashing like mysterious knives ...
Such words are the burning roses of an infinite imagination;
they are born and they die with the flutterings of butterflies;
we carry those words in our hearts like pregnant shotguns until the day we expire,
martyred for the words we were prepared to die for ...
What I wrote and what you understood? Curious and curiouser!
Mehmet Akif Ersoy: Modern English Translations of Turkish Poems
Mehmet Âkif Ersoy (1873-1936) was a Turkish poet, author, writer, academic, member of parliament, and the composer of the Turkish National Anthem.
Snapshot
by Mehmet Akif Ersoy
loose English translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Earth’s least trace of life cannot be erased;
even when you lie underground, it encompasses you.
So, those of you who anticipate the shadows,
how long will the darkness remember you?
Zulmü Alkislayamam
"I Can’t Applaud Tyranny"
by Mehmet Akif Ersoy
loose English translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I can't condone cruelty; I will never applaud the oppressor;
Yet I can't renounce the past for the sake of deluded newcomers.
When someone curses my ancestors, I want to strangle them,
Even if you don’t.
But while I harbor my elders,
I refuse to praise their injustices.
Above all, I will never glorify evil, by calling injustice “justice.”
From the day of my birth, I've loved freedom;
The golden tulip never deceived me.
If I am nonviolent, does that make me a docile sheep?
The blade may slice, but my neck resists!
When I see someone else's wound, I suffer a great hardship;
To end it, I'll be whipped, I'll be beaten.
I can't say, “Never mind, just forget it!” I'll mind,
I'll crush, I'll be crushed, I'll uphold justice.
I'm the foe of the oppressor, the friend of the oppressed.
What the hell do you mean, with your backwardness?
Çanakkale Sehitlerine
"For the Çanakkale Martyrs"
by Mehmet Akif Ersoy
loose English translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Was there ever anything like the Bosphorus war?―
The earth’s mightiest armies pressing Marmara,
Forcing entry between her mountain passes
To a triangle of land besieged by countless vessels.
Oh, what dishonorable assemblages!
Who are these Europeans, come as rapists?
Who, these braying hyenas, released from their reeking cages?
Why do the Old World, the New World, and all the nations of men
now storm her beaches? Is it Armageddon? Truly, the whole world rages!
Seven nations marching in unison!
Australia goose-stepping with Canada!
Different faces, languages, skin tones!
Everything so different, but the mindless bludgeons!
Some warriors Hindu, some African, some nameless, unknown!
This disgraceful invasion, baser than the Black Death!
Ah, the 20th century, so noble in its own estimation,
But all its favored ones nothing but a parade of worthless wretches!
For months now Turkish soldiers have been vomited up
Like stomachs’ retched contents regarded with shame.
If the masks had not been torn away, the faces would still be admired,
But the ***** called civilization is far from blameless.
Now the ****** demand the destruction of the doomed
And thus bring destruction down on their own heads.
Lightning severs horizons!
Earthquakes regurgitate the bodies of the dead!
Bombs’ thunderbolts explode brains,
rupture the ******* of brave soldiers.
Underground tunnels writhe like hell
Full of the bodies of burn victims.
The sky rains down death, the earth swallows the living.
A terrible blizzard heaves men violently into the air.
Heads, eyes, torsos, legs, arms, chins, fingers, hands, feet ...
Body parts rain down everywhere.
Coward hands encased in armor callously scatter
Floods of thunderbolts, torrents of fire.
Men’s chests gape open,
Beneath the high, circling vulture-like packs of the air.
Cannonballs fly as frequently as bullets
Yet the heroic army laughs at the hail.
Who needs steel fortresses? Who fears the enemy?
How can the shield of faith not prevail?
What power can make religious men bow down to their oppressors
When their stronghold is established by God?
The mountains and the rocks are the bodies of martyrs! ...
For the sake of a crescent, oh God, many suns set, undone!
Dear soldier, who fell for the sake of this land,
How great you are, your blood saves the Muslims!
Only the lions of Bedr rival your glory!
Who then can dig the grave wide enough to hold you. and your story?
If we try to consign you to history, you will not fit!
No book can contain the eras you shook!
Only eternities can encompass you! ...
Oh martyr, son of the martyr, do not ask me about the grave:
The prophet awaits you now, his arms flung wide open, to save!
Sessiz Gemi (“Silent Ship”)
by Yahya Kemal Beyatli
loose translation by Nurgül Yayman and Michael R. Burch
for the refugees
The time to weigh anchor has come;
a ship departing harbor slips quietly out into the unknown,
cruising noiselessly, its occupants already ghosts.
No flourished handkerchiefs acknowledge their departure;
the landlocked mourners stand nurturing their grief,
scanning the bleak horizon, their eyes blurring ...
Poor souls! Desperate hearts! But this is hardly the last ship departing!
There is always more pain to unload in this sorrowful life!
The hesitations of lovers and their belovèds are futile,
for they cannot know where the vanished are bound.
Many hopes must be quenched by the distant waves,
since years must pass, and no one returns from this journey.
Full Moon
by Yahya Kemal Beyatli
loose translation by Nurgül Yayman and Michael R. Burch
You are so lovely
the full moon just might
delight
in your rising,
as curious
and bright,
to vanquish night.
But what can a mortal man do,
dear,
but hope?
I’ll ponder your mysteries
and (hmmmm) try to
cope.
We both know
you have every right to say no.
The Music of the Snow
by Yahya Kemal Beyatli
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
This melody of a night lasting longer than a thousand years!
This music of the snow supposed to last for thousand years!
Sorrowful as the prayers of a secluded monastery,
It rises from a choir of a hundred voices!
As the *****’s harmonies resound profoundly,
I share the sufferings of Slavic grief.
My mind drifts far from this city, this era,
To the old records of Tanburi Cemil Bey.
Now I’m suddenly overjoyed as once again I hear,
With the ears of my heart, the purest sounds of Istanbul!
Thoughts of the snow and darkness depart me;
I keep them at bay all night with my dreams!
Translator’s notes: “Slavic grief” because Beyatli wrote this poem while in Warsaw, serving as Turkey’s ambassador to Poland, in 1927. Tanburi Cemil Bey was a Turkish composer.
Thinking of you
by Nazim Hikmet
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Thinking of you is beautiful, hopeful―
like listening to the most beautiful songs
sung by the earth's most beautiful voices.
But hope is insufficient for me now;
I don't want to listen to songs.
I want to sing love into birth.
I love you
by Nazim Hikmet
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
I love you―
like dipping bread into salt and eating;
like waking at night with a raging fever
and thirstily lapping up water, my mouth to the silver tap;
like unwrapping the unwieldy box the postman delivers,
unable to guess what's inside,
feeling fluttery, happy, doubtful.
I love you―
like flying over the sea the first time
as something stirs within me
while the sky softly darkens over Istanbul.
I love you―
as men thank God gratefully for life.
Sparrow
by Nazim Hikmet
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Little sparrow,
perched on the clothesline,
do you regard me with pity?
Even so, I will watch you
soar away through the white spring leaves.
The Divan of the Lover
the oldest extant Turkish poem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
All the universe as one great sign is shown:
God revealed in his creative acts unknown.
Who sees or understands them, jinn or men?
Such works lie far beyond mere mortals’ ken.
Nor can man’s mind or reason reach that strand,
Nor mortal tongue name Him who rules that land.
Since He chose nothingness with life to vest,
who dares to trouble God with worms’ behests?
For eighteen thousand worlds, lain end to end,
Do not with Him one atom's worth transcend!
Fragment
by Prince Jem
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
Behold! The torrent, dashing against the rocks, flails wildly.
The entire vast realm of Space and Being oppresses my soul idly.
Through bitterness of grief and woe the sky has rent its morning robe.
Look! See how in its eastern palace, the sun is a ****** globe!
The clouds of heaven rain bright tears on the distant mountain peaks.
Oh, hear how the deeply wounded thunder slowly, mournfully speaks!
An Ecstasy of Fumbling
by Michael R. Burch
The poets believe
everything resolves to metaphor—
a distillation,
a vapor
beyond filtration,
though perhaps not quite as volatile as before.
The poets conceive
of death in the trenches
as the price of art,
not war,
fumbling with their masque-like
dissertations
to describe the Hollywood-like gore
as something beyond belief,
abstracting concrete bunkers to Achaemenid bas-relief.
Excerpts from “Travels with Einstein”
by Michael R. Burch
for Trump
I went to Berlin to learn wisdom
from Adolph. The wild spittle flew
as he screamed at me, with great conviction:
“Please despise me! I look like a Jew!”
So I flew off to ’Nam to learn wisdom
from tall Yankees who cursed “yellow” foes.
“If we lose this small square,” they informed me,
earth’s nations will fall, dominoes!”
I then sat at Christ’s feet to learn wisdom,
but his Book, from its genesis to close,
said: “Men can enslave their own brothers!”
(I soon noticed he lacked any clothes.)
So I traveled to bright Tel Aviv
where great scholars with lofty IQs
informed me that (since I’m an Arab)
I’m unfit to lick dirt from their shoes.
At last, done with learning, I stumbled
to a well where the waters seemed sweet:
the mirage of American “justice.”
There I wept a real sea, in defeat.
Originally published by Café Dissensus
The Leveler
by Michael R. Burch
The nature of Nature
is bitter survival
from Winter’s bleak fury
till Spring’s brief revival.
The weak implore Fate;
bold men ravish, dishevel her . . .
till both are cut down
by mere ticks of the Leveler.
I believe I wrote this poem around age 20, in 1978 or thereabouts. It has since been published in The Lyric, Tucumcari Literary Review, Romantics Quarterly and The Aurorean.
The Hippopotami
by Michael R. Burch
There’s no seeing eye to eye
with the awesomely huge Hippopotami:
on the bank, you’re much taller;
going under, you’re smaller
and assuredly destined to die!
Ballade of the Bicameral Camel
by Michael R. Burch
There once was a camel who loved to ****.
Please get your lewd minds out of their slump!
He loved to give RIDES on his large, lordly lump!
The Echoless Green
by Michael R. Burch
for and after William Blake
At dawn, laughter rang
on the echoing green
as children at play
greeted the day.
At noon, smiles were seen
on the echoing green
as, children no more,
many fine vows they swore.
By twilight, their cries
had subsided to sighs.
Now night reigns supreme
on the echoless green.
Unlikely Mike
by Michael R. Burch
I married someone else’s fantasy;
she admired me despite my mutilations.
I loved her for her heart’s sake, and for mine.
I hid my face and changed its connotations.
And in the dark I danced—slight, Chaplinesque—
a metaphor myself. How could they know,
the undiscerning ones, that in the glow
of spotlights, sometimes love becomes burlesque?
Disfigured to my soul, I could not lose
or choose or name myself; I came to be
another of life’s odd dichotomies,
like Dickey’s Sheep Boy, Pan, or David Cruse:
as pale, as enigmatic. White, or black?
My color was a song, a changing track.
Spring Was Delayed
by Michael R. Burch
Winter came early:
the driving snows,
the delicate frosts
that crystallize
all we forget
or refuse to know,
all we regret
that makes us wise.
Spring was delayed:
the nubile rose,
the tentative sun,
the wind’s soft sighs,
all we omit
or refuse to show,
whatever we shield
behind guarded eyes.
Originally published by Borderless Journal
The Shijing or **** Jing (“Book of Songs” or “Book of Odes”) is the oldest Chinese poetry collection, with the poems included believed to date from around 1200 BC to 600 BC. According to tradition the poems were selected and edited by Confucius himself. Since most ancient poetry did not rhyme, these may be the world’s oldest extant rhyming poems.
Shijing Ode #4: “JIU MU”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
In the South, beneath trees with drooping branches
thick with vines that make them shady,
we find our lovely princely lady:
May she repose in happiness!
In the South, beneath trees with drooping branches
whose clinging vines make hot days shady,
we wish love’s embrace for our lovely lady:
May she repose in happiness!
In the South, beneath trees with drooping branches
whose vines, entwining, make them shady,
we wish true love for our lovely lady:
May she repose in happiness!
Shijing Ode #6: “TAO YAO”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
The peach tree is elegant and tender;
its flowers are fragrant, and bright.
A young lady now enters her future home
and will manage it well, day and night.
The peach tree is elegant and tender;
its fruits are abundant, and sweet.
A young lady now enters her future home
and will make it welcome to everyone she greets.
The peach tree is elegant and tender;
it shelters with bough, leaf and flower.
A young lady now enters her future home
and will make it her family’s bower.
Shijing Ode #9: “HAN GUANG”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
In the South tall trees without branches
offer men no shelter.
By the Han the girls loiter,
but it’s vain to entice them.
For the breadth of the Han
cannot be swum
and the length of the Jiang
requires more than a raft.
When cords of firewood are needed,
I would cut down tall thorns to bring them more.
Those girls on their way to their future homes?
I would feed their horses.
But the breadth of the Han
cannot be swum
and the length of the Jiang
requires more than a raft.
When cords of firewood are needed,
I would cut down tall trees to bring them more.
Those girls on their way to their future homes?
I would feed their colts.
But the breadth of the Han
cannot be swum
and the length of the Jiang
requires more than a raft.
Shijing Ode #10: “RU FEN”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
By raised banks of the Ru,
I cut down branches in the brake.
Not seeing my lord
caused me heartache.
By raised banks of the Ru,
I cut down branches by the tide.
When I saw my lord at last,
he did not cast me aside.
The bream flashes its red tail;
the royal court’s a blazing fire.
Though it blazes afar,
still his loved ones are near ...
It was apparently believed that the bream’s tail turned red when it was in danger. Here the term “lord” does not necessarily mean the man in question was a royal himself. Chinese women of that era often called their husbands “lord.” Take, for instance, Ezra Pound’s famous loose translation “The River Merchant’s Wife.” Speaking of Pound, I borrowed the word “brake” from his translation of this poem, although I worked primarily from more accurate translations. In the final line, it may be that the wife or lover is suggesting that no matter what happens, the man in question will have a place to go, or perhaps she is urging him to return regardless. The original poem had “mother and father” rather than “family” or “loved ones,” but in those days young married couples often lived with the husband’s parents. So a suggestion to return to his parents could be a suggestion to return to his wife as well.
Shijing Ode #12: “QUE CHAO”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
The nest is the magpie's
but the dove occupies it.
A young lady’s soon heading to her future home;
a hundred carriages will attend her.
The nest is the magpie's
but the dove takes it over.
A young lady’s soon heading to her future home;
a hundred carriages will escort her.
The nest is the magpie's
but the dove possesses it.
A young lady’s soon heading to her future home;
a hundred carriages complete her procession.
Shijing Ode #26: “BO ZHOU” from “The Odes of Bei”
ancient Chinese rhyming poem circa (1200 BC - 600 BC)
loose translation/interpretation by Michael R. Burch
This cypress-wood boat floats about,
meandering with the current.
Meanwhile, I am distraught and sleepless,
as if inflicted with a painful wound.
Not because I have no wine,
and can’t wander aimlessly about!
But my mind is not a mirror
able to echo all impressions.
Yes, I have brothers,
but they are undependable.
I meet their anger with silence.
My mind is not a stone
to be easily cast aside.
My mind is not a mat
to be conveniently rolled up.
My conduct so far has been exemplary,
with nothing to criticize.
Yet my anxious heart hesitates
because I’m hated by the herd,
inflicted with many distresses,
heaped with insults, not a few.
Silently I consider my case,
until, startled, as if from sleep, I clutch my breast.
Consider the sun and the moon:
how did the latter exceed the former?
Now sorrow clings to my heart
like an unwashed dress.
Silently I consider my options,
but lack the wings to fly away.
The Drawer of Mermaids
by Michael R. Burch
This poem is dedicated to Alina Karimova, who was born with severely deformed legs and five fingers missing. Alina loves to draw mermaids and believes her fingers will eventually grow out.
Although I am only four years old,
they say that I have an old soul.
I must have been born long, long ago,
here, where the eerie mountains glow
at night, in the Urals.
A madman named Geiger has cursed these slopes;
now, shut in at night, the emphatic ticking
fills us with dread.
(Still, my momma hopes
that I will soon walk with my new legs.)
It’s not so much legs as the fingers I miss,
drawing the mermaids under the ledges.
(Observing, Papa will kiss me
in all his distracted joy;
but why does he cry?)
And there is a boy
who whispers my name.
Then I am not lame;
for I leap, and I follow.
(G’amma brings a wiseman who says
our infirmities are ours, not God’s,
that someday a beautiful Child
will return from the stars,
and then my new fingers will grow
if only I trust Him; and so
I am preparing to meet Him, to go,
should He care to receive me.)
Keywords/Tags: mermaid, mermaids, child, children, childhood, Urals, Ural Mountains, soul, soulmate, radiation
On the Horns of a Dilemma (I)
by Michael R. Burch
Love has become preposterous
for the over-endowed rhinoceros:
when he meets the right miss
how the hell can he kiss
when his horn is so ***** it lofts her thus?
I need an artist or cartoonist to create an image of a male rhino lifting his prospective mate into the air during an abortive kiss. Any takers?
On the Horns of a Dilemma (II)
by Michael R. Burch
Love has become preposterous
for the over-endowed rhinoceros:
when he meets the right miss
how the hell can he kiss
when his horn deforms her esophagus?
On the Horns of a Dilemma (III)
by Michael R. Burch
A wino rhino said, “I know!
I have a horn I cannot blow!
And so,
ergo,
I’ll watch the lovely spigot flow!
The Horns of a Dilemma Solved, if not Solvent
by Michael R. Burch
A wine-addled rhino debated
the prospect of living unmated
due to the scorn
gals showed for his horn,
then lost it to poachers, sedated.
The Arrival of the Sea Lions
by Michael R. Burch
The sound
of hounds
resounds in the sound.
Hounds Impounded
by Michael R. Burch
The sound
of hounds
resounds
in the pound.
Prince Kiwi the Great
by Michael R. Burch
Kiwi’s
a ***-wee
but incredibly bright:
he sleeps half the day,
pretending it’s night!
Prince Kiwi
commands us
with his regal air:
“Come, humans, and serve me,
or I’ll yank your hair!”
Kiwi
cries “Kree! Kree!”
when he wants to be fed ...
suns, preens, flutters, showers,
then it’s off to bed.
Kiwi’s
a ***-wee
but incredibly bright:
he sleeps half the day,
pretending it’s night!
Kiwi is our family’s green-cheeked parakeet. Parakeets need to sleep around 12 hours per day, hence the pun on “bright” and “half the day.”
Ah! Sunflower
by Michael R. Burch
after William Blake
O little yellow flower
like a star ...
how beautiful,
how wonderful
we are!
Published as the collection "When Pigs Fly"
Susan Adele Wiggins Dec 2018
THE WHORE WAR CANTOS
Susan Adele Wiggins
Dec 2018
I.
One night at the Troubadour I spotted this extraordinary girl.
So I asked who she was.
‘A professional,’
That was my introduction that on a scale of one to ten
there were women who were fifteens—beautiful, bright, witty, and
oh, by the way, they worked.
Once I became aware,
I saw these women everywhere.
And I came to learn that most of them were connected to Alex
II.
She had a printer engrave a calling card
that featured a bird of paradise
borrowed from a Tiffany silver pattern
and,
under it,
Alex’s Aviary,
Beautiful and Exotic birds.
A few were women you’d see lunching at Le Dôme:
pampered arm pieces with expensive tastes
and a hint of a delicious but remote sexuality.
Many more were fresh-faced, athletic, tanned, freckled
the quintessential California girl
That you’d take for sorority queens or future BMW owners.
III.
The mechanism of Alex’s sudden notoriety is byzantine,
as these things always are.
One of her girls took up with a rotter,
the couple had a fight,
he went to the police,
the police had an undercover detective visit
(who just happened to be an attractive woman)
and ask to work for her,
she all but embraced her
—and by April of 1988 the district attorney had enough evidence
to charge her with two counts of pandering
and one of pimping.
For Alex, who is fifty-six
and has a heart condition and diabetes,
the stakes may be high.
A conviction carries the guarantee of incarceration.
For the forces of law and order,
the stakes may be higher.
Alex has let it be known that she will subpoena
every cop she’s ever met to testify at her trial.
And the revelations this might produce
—perhaps that Alex compromised policemen
by making girls available to them,
—perhaps that Alex had a deal with the police to provide information
in exchange for their blind eye to her activities
—could be hugely embarrassing to the police and the district attorney.
For Alex’s socially correct clients and friends,
for the socially correct wives of her clients and friends
and for a handful of movie and television executives
who have no idea they are dating or
married to former Alex girls,
the stakes are highest of all.
IV.
Alex’s black book is said to be a catalogue of
Le Tout Los Angeles.
In her head are the ****** secrets
of many of the city’s most important men,
to say nothing of visiting businessmen and Arab princes.
If she decides to warble,
either at her trial or in a book,
her song will shatter more than glass.
V.
A decade ago, I went to lunch at Ma Maison,
There were supposed to have been ten people there,
but only four came.
One of them was a short woman
who called me a few days later and invited me to lunch.
When I arrived, the table was set for two.
I didn’t know who Alex was or what she did,
but she knew the important facts of my situation:
I was getting divorced from a very wealthy man
and doing the legal work myself
to avail lawyers who wanted to get a big settlement for me.
Occasionally, she said, I get a call for a tall, dark-haired,
slender, flat-chested woman
—and I don’t have any.
It wouldn’t be a frequent thing.
There’d be weekends away, sometimes in Palm Springs,
sometimes in Europe.
The men will be elegant,
you’ll have your own room
—there would be no outward signs of impropriety.
And you’d get $10,000 to $20,000 for a weekend.
VI.
The tall, slender, flat-chested brunette
didn’t think it was right for her.
Alex handed her a business card
and suggested that she think about it.
To her surprise, she did
—for an entire week.
This was 1978, and $20,000 then
was like $40,000 now,
I knew it was hooking,
but Alex had never mentioned ***.
Our whole conversation seemed to be about something else.
VII.
I was born in Manila
to a Spanish-Filipina mother and German father,
and when I was twelve
a Japanese soldier came into our house
with his bayonet pointed at us,
ready to do us in.
He locked us in and set the house on fire.
I haven’t been scared by much since that.
My mother always struck me as goofy,
so I jumped on a bus and ran away,
I got off in Oakland,
saw a help-wanted sign on a parish house,
and went in.
I got $200 a month for taking care of four priests.
I spent all the money on pastries for the parish house.
But I didn’t care.
It felt safe.
And the priests sparked my interest in the domestic arts
—in linen, in crystal.
A new priest arrived.
He was unpleasant,
so on a vacation in Los Angeles I took a pedestrian job,
still a teenager,
married a scientist.
We separated eight years later,
he took our two sons to another state
threatened to keep them if I didn’t agree to a divorce.
Keep them I said and hung up.
It’s not that I don’t have a maternal instinct
—though I don’t,
I just hate to be manipulated.
My second husband,
an alcoholic,
had Frank Sinatra blue eyes, and possibly
—I never knew for sure—
had a big career in the underworld
as a contract killer.
Years before we got serious,
he was going out with a famous L.A. ******,
She and her friends were so elegant
that I started spending time with them in beauty salons.
They were so fancy,
so smart
—and they knew incredible people,
like the millionaire who sat in his suite all day
just writing $5,000 checks to girls.
VIII.
I was a florist.
We got to talking.
She was a madam from England
who wanted to sell her book and go home.
I bought it for $5,000.
My husband thought it was cute.
Now you’re getting your feet wet.
Three months later,
he died.
After eleven years of marriage,
just like that.
And of the names in the book
it turned out
that half of the men were also dead.
When I began the men were old and the women were ugly.
IX.
It was like a lunch party you or I would give,
Great food Alex had cooked herself.
Major giggles with old pals.
And then,
instead of chocolate After Eight,
she served three women After Three
This man has seen a bit of life
beyond Los Angeles,
so I asked him how Alex’s stable
compared with that of Madam Claude,
the legendary Parisian procuress.
Oh, these aren’t at all like Claude’s girls,
A Claude girl was perfectly dressed and multilingual
—you could take her to the opera
and she’d understand it.
He told me that when she was 40
she looked at herself in the mirror
and said
Disgusting.
People over 40
should not have ***.
But She Was Clear That She Never Liked It
even when she was young.
Besides, she saw all the street business
go to the tall,
beautiful girls.
She thought that she never had a chance
competing against them.
Instead,
she would take their money by managing them.
X.
Going to a ****** was not looked down upon then.
It was before the pill;
Girls weren’t giving it away.
Claude specialized in
failed models and actresses,
ones who just missed the cut.
But just because they failed
in those impossible professions
didn’t mean they weren’t beautiful,
fabulous.
Like Avis
in those days,
those girls tried harder.
Her place was off the Champs,
just above a branch of the Rothschild bank, where I had an account.
Once I met her,
I was constantly making withdrawals and heading upstairs.
XI.
We took the lift
and Claude greeted us at the door.
My impression was that of the director
of an haute couture house,
very subdued,
beige and gray, very little makeup.
She took us into a lounge and made us drinks,
Whiskey,
Cognac.
There was no maid.
We made small talk for 15 minutes.
How was the weekend?
What’s the weather like in Deauville?
Then she made the segue. ‘I understand you’d like to see some jeunes filles?’
She always used ‘jeunes filles.’
This was Claude’s polite way of saying 18 to 25.
She left and soon returned
with two very tall
jeunes filles,
One was blonde.
This is Eva from Austria.
She’s here studying painting.
And a brunette,
very different,
but also very fine.
This is Claudia from Germany.
She’s a dancer.
She took the girls back into the apartment and returned by herself.
I gave my English guest first choice.
He picked the blonde.
And wasn’t disappointed.
Each bedroom had its own bidet.
There was some nice
polite conversation, and then
It was slightly formal,
but it was high-quality.
He paid Claude
200 francs,
not to the girls
In 1965, 200 francs was about $40.
Pretty girls on Rue Saint-Denis
could be had for 40 francs
so you can see the premium.
Still, it wasn’t out of reach for mere mortals.
You didn’t have to be J. Paul Getty.
XII.
A lot of them
were models at
Christian Dior
or other couture houses.
She liked Scandinavians.
That was the look then
—cold, tall, perfect.
It was cheap for the quality.
They all used her.
The best people wanted
the best women.
Elementary supply and demand.
XIII.
She had a camp number tattooed on her wrist. I saw it.
She showed it to me and Rubi.
She was proud she had survived.
We talked about the camp for hours.
It was even more fascinating than the girls.
She was Jewish
I’m certain of that.
She was horrified at the Jewish collaborators
at the camp who herded
their fellow Jews
into the gas chambers.
That was the greatest betrayal in her life.
XIV.
She was this sad,
lonely little woman.
Later, Patrick told me who she was.
I was bowled over.
It was like meeting Al Capone.
I met two of the girls
who worked for her.
One was what you would expect
Tall
Blonde
Model.
But the other looked like a Rat
Then one night
she came out
all dressed up,
I didn’t even recognize her.
She was even better than the first girl.
Claude liked to transform women like that.
That was her art.
It was very odd,
my cousin told me.
There was not much furniture
and an awful lot of telephones.
“Allô oui,”
XV.
I had so many lunches
with Claude at Ma Maison
She was vicious.
One day,
Margaux Hemingway,
at the height of her beauty, walked by.
Une bonne
—the French for maid
was how Claude cut her dead.
She reduced
the entire world
to rich men wanting *** and
poor women wanting money.
She’d love to page through Vogue and see someone
and say,
When I met her
she was called
Marlene
and she had a hideous nose
and now she’s a princess.
Or she’d see someone and say
Let’s see if she kisses me or not.
It was like
I made her,
and I can destroy her.
She was obsessed
with “fixing” people
—with Saint Laurent clothes,
with Cartier watches,
with Winston jewels,
with Vuitton luggage,
with plastic surgeons.
XVI.
Her prison number was
888
which was good luck in China
but not in California.
‘Ocho ocho ocho,’ she liked to repeat
Even in jail, she was always working,
always recruiting stunning women.
She had a beautiful Mexican cellmate
and gave her Robert Evans’s number
as the first person she should call
when she was released.
XVII.
Never have *** on the first date.
XVIII.
There will always be prostitution,
The prostitution of misery.
And the prostitution of bourgeois luxury.
They will both go on forever.
“Allô oui,”
It was so exciting to hear a millionaire
or a head of state ask,
in a little boy’s voice,
for the one thing
that only you could provide
It's not how beautiful you are, it's how you relate
--it's mostly dialogue.
She was tiny, blond, perfectly coiffed and Chanel-clad.
The French Woman: The Arab Prince, the Japanese Diplomat, the Greek Tycoon, the C.I.A. Bureau Chief — She Possessed Them All!
XIX.
She was like a slave driver in the American South
Once she took a *******,
the makeover put the girl in debt,
because Claude paid all the bills to
Dior,
Vuitton,
to the hairdressers,
to the doctors,
and the girls had to work to pay them off.
It was ****** indentured servitude.
My Swans.
It reached the point
where if you walked into a room
in London
or Rome
as much as Paris
because the girls were transportable,
and saw a girl who was
better-dressed,
better-looking,
and more distinguished than the others
you presumed
it was a girl from Claude.
It was, without doubt,
the finest *** operation ever run in the history of mankind.
**.
The girl had to be
exactly what was needed
so I had to teach her everything she didn’t know.
I played a little the role of Pygmalion.
There were basic things that absolutely had to be done.
It consisted
at the start
of the physical aspect
“surgical intervention”
to give this way of being
that was different from other girls.
Often they had to be transformed
into dream creatures
because at the start
they were not at all
Often I had to teach them how to dress.
Often they needed help
to repair
what nature had given them
which was not so beautiful.
At first they had to be tall,
with pretty gestures,
good manners.
I had lots of noses done,
chins,
teeth,
*******.
There was a lot to do.
Eight times out of ten
I had to teach them how to behave in society.
There were official dinners, suppers, weekends,
and they needed to have conversation.
I insisted they learn to speak English,
read
certain books.
I interrogated them on what they read.
It wasn’t easy.
Each time something wasn’t working,
I was obliged to say so.
You were very demanding?
I was ferocious.
It’s difficult
to teach a girl how to walk into Maxim’s
without looking
ill at ease
when they’ve never been there,
to go into an airport,
to go to the Ritz,
or the Crillon
or the Dorchester.
To find yourself
in front of a king,
three princes,
four ministers,
and five ambassadors at an official dinner.
There were the wives of those people!
Day after day
one had to explain,
explain again,
start again.
It took about two years.
There would always be a man
who would then say of her,
‘But she’s absolutely exceptional. What is that girl doing here?’ ”
XXI.
A New York publisher who visited
the Palace Hotel
in Saint Moritz
in the early seventies told me,
I met a whole bunch of them there.
They were lovely.
The johns wanted everyone to know who they were.
I remember it being said
Giovanni’s Madame Claude girl is going to be there.
You asked them where they came from and they all said
Neuilly.
Claude liked girls from good families.
More to the point she had invented their backgrounds.
I have known,
because of what I did,
some exceptional and fascinating men.
I’ve known some exceptional women too,
but that was less interesting
because I made them myself.
Ah, this question of the handbag.
You would be amazed by how much dust accumulates.
Or how often women’s shoe heels are scuffed.
XXII.
She would examine their teeth and finally she would make them undress.
That was a difficult moment
When they arrived they were very shy,
a bit frightened.
At the beginning when I take a look,
it’s a question of seeing if the silhouette
and the gestures are pretty.
Then there was a disagreeable moment.
I said,
I’m sorry about this unpleasantness,
but I have to ask you to get undressed,
because I can’t talk about you unless I see you.
Believe me, I was embarrassed,
just as they were,
but it had to be done,
not out of voyeurism, not at all
—I don’t like les dames horizontales.
It was very funny
because there were always two reactions.
A young girl,
very sure of herself,
very beautiful,
très bien,
would say
Yes,
Get up, and get undressed.
There was nothing to hide, everything was perfect.
There were those who
would start timidly
to take off their dress
and I would say
I knew already.
The rest is not sadism, but nearly.
I knew what I was going to find.
I would say,
Maybe you should take off your bra,
and I knew it wasn’t going to be
beautiful.
Because otherwise she would have taken it off easily.
No problem.
There were damages that could be mended.
There were some ******* that could be redone,
some not
Sometimes it can be deceptive,
you know,
you see a pretty girl,
a pretty face,
all elegant and slim,
well dressed,
and when you see her naked
it is a catastrophe.
I could judge their physical qualities,
I could judge if she was pretty, intelligent, and cultivated,
but I didn’t know how she was in bed.
So I had some boys,
good friends,
who told me exactly.
I would ring them up and say,
There’s a new one.
And afterwards they’d ring back and say,
Not bad,
Could be better, or
Nulle.
Or,
on the contrary,
She’s perfect.
And I would sometimes have to tell the girls
what they didn’t know.
A pleasant assignment?
No.
They paid.
XXIII.
Often at the beginning
they had an ami de coeur
in other words,
oh,
a journalist, a photographer, a type like that,
someone in the cinema,
an actor, not very well known.
As time went by
It became difficult
because they didn’t have a lot of time for him.
The fact of physically changing,
becoming prettier,
changing mentally to live with millionaires,
produced a certain imbalance
between them
and the little boyfriend
who had not evolved
and had stayed in his milieu.
At the end of a certain time
she would say,
I’m so much better than him. Why am I with this boy?
And they would break up by themselves.
Remember,
this was instant elevation.
For most of them it was a dream existence,
provided they liked the ***,
and those that didn’t never lasted long.
A lot of the clients were young,
and didn’t treat them like tarts but like someone from their own class.
They would buy you presents,
take you on trips.
XXIV.
For me, *** was something very accessoire
I think after a certain age
there are certain spectacles one should not give to others
Now I have a penchant for solitude.
Love, it’s a complete destroyer,
It’s impossible,
a horror,
l’angoisse.
It’s the only time in my life I was jealous.
I’m not a jealous person, but I was épouvantable.
He was jealous too.
We broke plates over each other’s heads;
we became jealous about each other’s pasts.
I said one day
It’s finished.
Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say:
Break my legs,
give me scarlet fever,
an attack of TB, but never that.
Not that.
XXV.
I called her into my office
Let us not exaggerate,
I sent her away.
She came back looking for employment,
but was fired again, this time for drugs.
She made menacing phone calls.
Then she arrived at the Rue de Boulainvilliers with a gun.
She shot three bullets
I was dressed in the fashion of Courrèges at this moment
He did very padded things.
I had a padded dress with a little jacket on top.
The bullet
—merci, Monsieur Courrèges
—stuck in the padding.
I was thrown forward onto the telephone.
I had one thought which went through my head:
I will die like Kennedy.
I turned round and put my hand up in a reflex.
The second bullet went through my hand.
I have two dead fingers.
It’s most useful for removing bottle tops.
In the corridor I was saved from the third bullet
because she was very tall
and I am quite petite, so it passed over my head.
XXVI.
There were men
who could decapitate,
****, and bomb their rivals
who would be frightened of me.
I would ask them how was the girl,
and they’d say
Not bad
and then
But I’m not complaining.
I was a little sadistic to them sometimes.
Some women have known powerful men because they’re their lover.
But I’ve known them all.
I had them all
here.
She will take many state secrets with her.
XXVI.
I don’t like ugly people
probably because when I was young
I wasn’t beautiful at all.
I was ugly and I suffered for it,
although not to the point of obsession.
Now that I’m an old woman,
I’m not so bad.
And that’s why
I’ve always been surrounded by people
Who
were
beautiful.
And the best way to have beautiful people around me
was to make them.
I made them very pretty.
XXVII.
I wouldn’t call what Alex gives you
‘advice,’
She spares you Nothing.
She makes a list of what she wants done,
and she really gets into it
I mean, she wants you to get your arms waxed.
She gives you names of people who do good facials.
She tells you what to buy at Neiman Marcus.
She’s put off by anything flashy,
and if you don’t dress conservatively, she’s got no problem telling you,
in front of an audience,
You look like a cheap *****!
I used to wear what I wanted when I went out
then change in the car into a frumpy sweater
when I went to give her the money she’d always go,
Oh, you look beautiful!
Marry your boyfriend,
It’s better than going to prison.
When you go out with her,
she’ll buy you a present; she’s incredibly generous that way.
And she’ll always tell you to save money and get out.
It’s frustrating to her when girls call at the end of the month
and say they need rent money.
She wants to see you do well.
We had a schedule, with cards that indicated a client’s name,
what he liked,
the names of the girls he’d seen,
and how long he’d been with them.
And I only hired girls who had another career
—if my clients had a choice between drop-dead-gorgeous
and beautiful-and-interesting,
they’d tend to take beautiful-and-interesting.
These men wanted to talk.
If they spent two hours with a girl,
they usually spent only five or ten minutes in bed.
I get the feeling that in Los Angeles, men are more concerned with looks.
XXVIII.
That was my big idea
Not to expand the book by aggressive marketing
but to make sure that nobody
mistook my girls for run-of-the-mill hookers.
And I kept my roster fresh.
This was not a business where you peddle your ***,
get exploited,
and then are cast off.
I screen clients. I’ve never sent girls to weirdos.
I let the men know:
no violence,
no costumes,
no fudge-packing.
And I talked to my girls. I’d tell them:
Two and a half years and you’re burned out.
Save your money.
This is like a hangar
—you come in, refuel, and take off.
It’s not a vacation, it’s not a goof.
This buys the singing lessons,
the dancing lessons,
the glossies.
This is to help you pay for what your parents couldn’t provide.
It’s an honorable way station—a lot of stars did this.
XXIX.
To say someone was a Claude girl is an honour, not a slur.
Une femme terrible.
She despised men and women alike.
Men were wallets. Women were holes.
By the 80s,
if you were a brunette,
the sky was the limit.
The Saudis
They’d call for half a dozen of Alex’s finest,
ignore them all evening while they
chatted,
ate,
and played cards,
and then, around midnight,
take the women inside for a fast few minutes of ***.
They’d order women up like pizza.
Since my second husband died,
I only met one man who was right for me,
He was a sheikh.
I visited him in Europe
twenty-eight times
in the five years I knew him
and I never slept with him.
He’d say
I think you fly all the way here just to tease me,
but he introduced me
by phone
to all his powerful friends.
When I was in Los Angeles, he called me twice a day.
That’s why I never went out
he would have been disappointed.
***.
Listen to me
This is a woman’s business.
When a woman does it, it’s fun
there’s a giggle in it
when a man’s involved,
he’s ******,
he’s a ****.
He may know how to keep girls in line,
and he may make money,
but he doesn’t know what I do.
I tell guys: You’re getting a nice girl.
She’s young,
She’s pleasant,
She can do things
she can certainly make love.
She’s not a rocket scientist, but she’s everything else.
The world’s richest and most powerful men, the announcer teased.
An income “in the millions,” said the arresting officer.
Pina Colapinto
A petite call girl,
who once slid between the sheets of royalty,
a green-eyed blonde helped the police get the indictment.
They really dolled her up
She looks great.
Never!
What I told her was: ‘Wash that ******.’
XXXI.
Madam Alex died at 7 p.m.
Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center,
where she had been in intensive care after recent open heart surgery
We all held her hand when they took her off the life support
This was the passing of a legend.
Because she was the mother superior of prostitution.
She was one of the richest women on earth.
The world came to her.
She never had to leave the house.
She was like Hugh Hefner in that way.
It's like losing a friend
In all the years we played cat and mouse,
she never once tried to corrupt me.
We had a lot of fun.
To those who knew her
she was as constant
as she was colorful
always ready with a good tidbit of gossip
and a gourmet lunch for two.
She entertained, even after her conviction on pandering charges,
from the comfy depths of her blue four-poster bed at her home near Doheny Drive,
surrounded by knickknacks and meowing cats,
which she fed fresh shrimp from blue china plates.
XXXII.
She stole my business,
my books,
my girls,
my guys.
I had a good run.
My creatures.
Make Mommy happy
Oh! He is the most enchanting cat that I have ever known.
She was, how can I say it,
classy.
When she first hired me
she thought I was too young to take her case.
I was 43.
I'm going to give you some gray hairs by the time this is over.
She was right.
XXXIII.
I was fond of Heidi
But she has a streak that is so vindictive.
If there is pure evil, it is Madame Alex.
XXXIV.
I was born and raised in L.A.
My dad was a famous pediatrician.
When he died, they donated a bench to him at the Griffith Park Observatory.
I think that Heidi wanted to try her wings
pretty early,
and I think that she met some people
who sort of took all her potential
and gave it a sharp turn
She knew nothing.
She was like a little parrot who repeated what she was supposed to say.
Alex and I had a very intense relationship;
I was kind of like the daughter she loved and hated,
so she was abusive and loving at the same time.
Look, I know Madam Alex was great at what she did
but it's like this:
What took her years to build,
I built in one.
The high end is the high end,
and no one has a higher end than me.
In this business, no one steals clients.
There's just better service.
XXXV.
You were not allowed to have long hair
You were not allowed to be too pretty
You were not allowed to wear too much makeup or be too glamorous
Because someone would fall in love with you and take you away.
And then she loses the business
XXXVI.
I was pursued because
come on
in our lifetime,
we will never see another girl of my age
who lived the way I did,
who did what I did so quickly,
I made so many enemies.
Some people had been in this line of business
for their whole lives, 30 or 40 years,
and I came in and cornered the market.
Men don't like that.
Women don't like that.
No one liked it.
I had this spiritual awakening watching an Oprah Winfrey video.
I was doing this 500-hour drug class
and one day the teacher showed us this video,
called something like Make It Happen.
Usually in class I would bring a notebook
and write a letter to my brother or my journal,
but all of a sudden this grabbed my attention
and I understood everything she said.
It hit me and it changed me a lot.
It made me feel,
Accept yourself for who you are.
I saw a deeper meaning in it
but who knows, I might have just been getting my period that day!
XXXVII.
Hello, Gina!
You movie star!
Yes you are!
Gina G!
Hello my friend,
Hello my friend,
Hello my movie star,
Ruby! Ruby Boobie!
Braaawk!
Except so many women say,
Come on, Heidi
you gotta do the brothel for us; don't let us down.
It would be kind of fun opening up an exclusive resort,
and I'll make it really nice,
like the Beverly Hills Hotel
It'll feel private; you'll have your own bungalow.
The only problem out here is the climate—it's so brutal.
Charles Manson was captured a half hour from Pahrump.
I said, Joe! What are you doing?
You gotta get, like,
a garter belt and encase it in something
and write,
This belonged to Suzette Whatever,
who entertained the Flying Tigers during World War II.
Get, like, some weird tools and write,
These were the first abortion tools in the brothel,
you know what I mean?
Just make some **** up!
So I came out here to do some research
And then I realized,
What am I doing?
I'm Heidi Fleiss. I don't need anyone.
I can do this.
When I was doing my research, in three months
I saw land go from 30 thousand an acre
to 50 thousand an acre,
and then it was going for 70K!
It's urban sprawl
—we're only one hour from Las Vegas.
Out here the casinos are only going to get bigger,
prostitution is legal, it's only getting better.
XXXVIII.
The truth is
deep down inside,
I just can't do business with him
He's the type of guy who buys Cup o' Noodles soup for three cents
and makes his hookers buy it back from him for $5.
It's not my style at all.
Who wants to be 75 and facing federal charges?
It was different at my age when I
at least...come on, I lived really well.
I was 22,
25 at the time?
It was fun then, but now I wouldn't want
to deal with all that *******
—the girls and blah blah blah.
But the money was really good.
I would've told someone they were out of their ******* mind
if they'd said in five years I'd be living with all these animals like this.
It's hard-core; how I live;
It's totally a nonfunctional atmosphere for me
It's hard to get anything done because
It’s so time-consuming.
I feel like they're good luck though....
I do feel that if I ever get rid of them,
I will be jinxed and cursed the rest of my life
and nothing I do will ever work again.
Guys kind of are a hindrance to me
Certainly I have no problem getting laid or anything.
But a man is not a priority in my life.
I mean, it's crazy, but I really have fun with my parrots.
XXXIX.
I started a babysitting circle when I wasn't much older than 9
And soon all the parents in the neighborhood
wanted me to watch over their children.
Even then I had an innate business sense.
I started farming out my friends
to meet the demand.
My mother showered me with love and my father,
a pediatrician,
would ask me at the dinner table,
What did you learn today?
I ran my neighborhood.
I just pick up a hustle really easily,
I was a waitress and I met an older guy who looked like Santa Claus.
Alex was a 5' 3" bald-headed Filipina
in a transparent muu muu.
We hit it off.
I didn't know at the time that I was there to pay off the guy's gambling debt.
It's in and out,
over and out.
Do you think some big-time producer
or actor is going to go to the clubs and hustle?
Columbia Pictures executive says:
I haven’t done anything that should cause any concern.
Jeez, it's like the Nixon enemies list.
I hope I'm on it.
If I'm not, it means I must not be big enough
for people to gossip about me.
That's right ladies and gentlemen.
I am an alleged madam and that is a $25 *****!
If you live out here,
you've got to hate people.
You've got to be pretty antisocial
How you gonna come out here with only 86 people?
That's Fred.
He's digging to China.
You look good.
Yeah, you too.
It's coming along here.
Yeah, it is.
I wanted to buy that lot there, but I guess it's gone?
That's mine, man! That's all me.
Really?
I thought there was a lot between us.
No. We're neighbors.
He's a cute guy
He's entertaining.
See, I kind of did do something shady to him.
I thought my property went all the way back
and butted up against his.
But there was one lot between us right there.
He said he was buying it,
but I saw the 'For Sale' sign still up there,
So I went and called the broker and said,
I'm an all-cash buyer.
So I really bought it out from under him.
But he's got plenty of room, and I need the space for my parrots.
Pahrump will always be Pahrump, but Crystal is going to be nice
All you need are four or five fancy houses and it'll flush everyone out
and it'll be a nice area.
They're all kind of weird here, but these people will go.
Like this guy here,
someone needs to **** him.
I was just saying to my dad that these parrots are born to a really ******-up world
He goes, Heidi, no, no; the world is a beautiful garden.
It's just, people are destroying it.
I’m looking into green building options
I don't want anything polluting,
I want a huge auditorium,
but it'll be like a jungle where my birds can really fly!
Where they can really do what they're supposed to do.
There were over 300 birds in there!
That lady,
She ran the exotic-birds department for the Tropicana Hotel,
which is a huge job.
She called me once at 3:30 in the morning
Come over here and help me feed this baby!
Some baby parrot.
And I ran over there in my pajamas
—I knew there was something else wrong
and she was like
Get me my oxygen!
Get me this, get me that.
I called my dad; he was like,
I don't know, honey, you better call the paramedics.
They ended up getting a helicopter.
And they were taking her away
in the wind with her IV and blood and everything
and she goes, Heidi, you take care of my birds.
And she dies the next day.
She was just a super-duper person.
XL.
I relate to the lifestyle she had before,
Now, I'm just a citizen.
I'm clean,
I'm sober,
I'm married,
I work at Wal-Mart.
I'm proud to say I know her. I look into her eyes
and we relate.
I got out in 2000,
so I've been sending her money for seven years
She was…whatever.
Girlfriend?
Yeah, maybe.
But ***, I tried like two times,
and I'm just not gay.
She gets out in about eight or nine months
and I told her I would get her a house.
But nowhere near me.
I didn't touch her,
but I'd be, like...
a funny story:
I told her,
Don't you ever ******* think
about contacting me in the real world.
I'm not a lesbian.
Then about two years ago, I got an e-mail from her,
or she called me and said, 'Google my name.'
So I Googled her name,
and she has this huge company.
Huge!
She won, like, Woman of the Year awards.
So I called her and I go,
Not bad.
She goes, 'Well, I did all that because you called me a loser.'
I go, '****, I should've called you more names
you probably would've found the cure for cancer by now.
XLI.
No person shall be employed by the licensee
who has ever been convicted of
a felony involving moral turpitude
But I qualify,
I mean, big deal, so I'm a convicted felon.
Being in the *** industry, you can't be so squeaky-clean.
You've got to be hustling.
Nighttime is really enchanting here
It's like a whole 'nother world out here, it really is
I’m so far removed from my social life and old surroundings.
Who was it, Oscar Wilde, I think, who said
people can adjust to anything.
I was perfectly adjusted in the penitentiary,
and I was perfectly adjusted to living in a château in France.
We had done those drug addiction shows together
Dr. Drew.
Afterward we were friendly
and he'd call me every now and then.
He'd act like he had his stuff together.
But it was all a lie.
Everything is a lie.
I brought him to a Humane Society event at Paramount Studios last year.
He was just such a mess.
So out of it.
He stole money from my purse.
He's such a drug addict because he's so afraid of being fat.
He liked horse ****, though. He did like horse ****.
This one woman that would have *** with a horse on the internet,
He told me that’s his favorite actress.
Better than Meryl Streep.
XLII.
The cops could see
why these women were taking over trade.
Girls with these looks charged upwards of $500 an hour.
The Russians had undercut them with a bargain rate of $150 an hour.
One thing they are not is lazy.
In the USSR
they grew up with no religion, no morality.
Prostitution is not considered a bad thing.
In fact, it’s considered a great way to make money.
That’s why it’s exploding here.
What we saw was just a tip of the iceberg.
These girls didn’t come over here expecting to be nannies.
They knew exactly what they wanted and what they were getting into.
The madam who organized this raid
was making $4 million a year,
laundered through Russian-owned banks in New York City
These are brutal people.
They are all backstabbers.
They’re entrepreneurs.
They’re looking at $10,000 a month for turning tricks.
For them, that’s the American dream.
XLIII.
If you’re not into something,
don’t be into it
But,
if you want to take some whipped cream,
put it between your toes,
have your dog licking it up and,
at the same time,
have your girlfriend poke you in the eye,
then that’s fine.
That’s a little weird but we shouldn’t judge.
She was my best friend then
and I consider her one of my best friends now,
because when I was going through Riker’s
and everyone abandoned me,
including my boyfriend,
I was hysterical,
crying,
and she was the one that was there.
And, when somebody needed to step up to the plate,
that’s who did, and I have an immense amount of
loyalty, respect, and love for her.
And if she’s going to prison for eight years
—that’s what she’s sentenced for
—I’ll go there,
and I’ll go there every week,
for eight years.
That’s the type of person I am.
One night at the Troubadour I spotted this extraordinary girl.
So I asked who she was.
‘A professional,’
That was my introduction that on a scale of one to ten
there were women who were fifteens—beautiful, bright, witty, and
oh, by the way, they worked.
Once I became aware,
I saw these women everywhere.
And I came to learn that most of them were connected to Alex
II.
She had a printer engrave a calling card
that featured a bird of paradise
borrowed from a Tiffany silver pattern
and,
under it,
Alex’s Aviary,
Beautiful and Exotic birds.
A few were women you’d see lunching at Le Dôme:
pampered arm pieces with expensive tastes
and a hint of a delicious but remote sexuality.
Many more were fresh-faced, athletic, tanned, freckled
the quintessential California girl
That you’d take for sorority queens or future BMW owners.
III.
The mechanism of Alex’s sudden notoriety is byzantine,
as these things always are.
One of her girls took up with a rotter,
the couple had a fight,
he went to the police,
the police had an undercover detective visit
(who just happened to be an attractive woman)
and ask to work for her,
she all but embraced her
—and by April of 1988 the district attorney had enough evidence
to charge her with two counts of pandering
and one of pimping.
For Alex, who is fifty-six
and has a heart condition and diabetes,
the stakes may be high.
A conviction carries the guarantee of incarceration.
For the forces of law and order,
the stakes may be higher.
Alex has let it be known that she will subpoena
every cop she’s ever met to testify at her trial.
And the revelations this might produce
—perhaps that Alex compromised policemen
by making girls available to them,
—perhaps that Alex had a deal with the police to provide information
in exchange for their blind eye to her activities
—could be hugely embarrassing to the police and the district attorney.
For Alex’s socially correct clients and friends,
for the socially correct wives of her clients and friends
and for a handful of movie and television executives
who have no idea they are dating or
married to former Alex girls,
the stakes are highest of all.
IV.
Alex’s black book is said to be a catalogue of
Le Tout Los Angeles.
In her head are the ****** secrets
of many of the city’s most important men,
to say nothing of visiting businessmen and Arab princes.
If she decides to warble,
either at her trial or in a book,
her song will shatter more than glass.
V.
A decade ago, I went to lunch at Ma Maison,
There were supposed to have been ten people there,
but only four came.
One of them was a short woman
who called me a few days later and invited me to lunch.
When I arrived, the table was set for two.
I didn’t know who Alex was or what she did,
but she knew the important facts of my situation:
I was getting divorced from a very wealthy man
and doing the legal work myself
to avail lawyers who wanted to get a big settlement for me.
Occasionally, she said, I get a call for a tall, dark-haired,
slender, flat-chested woman
—and I don’t have any.
It wouldn’t be a frequent thing.
There’d be weekends away, sometimes in Palm Springs,
sometimes in Europe.
The men will be elegant,
you’ll have your own room
—there would be no outward signs of impropriety.
And you’d get $10,000 to $20,000 for a weekend.
VI.
The tall, slender, flat-chested brunette
didn’t think it was right for her.
Alex handed her a business card
and suggested that she think about it.
To her surprise, she did
—for an entire week.
This was 1978, and $20,000 then
was like $40,000 now,
I knew it was hooking,
but Alex had never mentioned ***.
Our whole conversation seemed to be about something else.
VII.
I was born in Manila
to a Spanish-Filipina mother and German father,
and when I was twelve
a Japanese soldier came into our house
with his bayonet pointed at us,
ready to do us in.
He locked us in and set the house on fire.
I haven’t been scared by much since that.
My mother always struck me as goofy,
so I jumped on a bus and ran away,
I got off in Oakland,
saw a help-wanted sign on a parish house,
and went in.
I got $200 a month for taking care of four priests.
I spent all the money on pastries for the parish house.
But I didn’t care.
It felt safe.
And the priests sparked my interest in the domestic arts
—in linen, in crystal.
A new priest arrived.
He was unpleasant,
so on a vacation in Los Angeles I took a pedestrian job,
still a teenager,
married a scientist.
We separated eight years later,
he took our two sons to another state
threatened to keep them if I didn’t agree to a divorce.
Keep them I said and hung up.
It’s not that I don’t have a maternal instinct
—though I don’t,
I just hate to be manipulated.
My second husband,
an alcoholic,
had Frank Sinatra blue eyes, and possibly
—I never knew for sure—
had a big career in the underworld
as a contract killer.
Years before we got serious,
he was going out with a famous L.A. ******,
She and her friends were so elegant
that I started spending time with them in beauty salons.
They were so fancy,
so smart
—and they knew incredible people,
like the millionaire who sat in his suite all day
just writing $5,000 checks to girls.
VIII.
I was a florist.
We got to talking.
She was a madam from England
who wanted to sell her book and go home.
I bought it for $5,000.
My husband thought it was cute.
Now you’re getting your feet wet.
Three months later,
he died.
After eleven years of marriage,
just like that.
And of the names in the book
it turned out
that half of the men were also dead.
When I began the men were old and the women were ugly.
IX.
It was like a lunch party you or I would give,
Great food Alex had cooked herself.
Major giggles with old pals.
And then,
instead of chocolate After Eight,
she served three women After Three
This man has seen a bit of life
beyond Los Angeles,
so I asked him how Alex’s stable
compared with that of Madam Claude,
the legendary Parisian procuress.
Oh, these aren’t at all like Claude’s girls,
A Claude girl was perfectly dressed and multilingual
—you could take her to the opera
and she’d understand it.
He told me that when she was 40
she looked at herself in the mirror
and said
Disgusting.
People over 40
should not have ***.
But She Was Clear That She Never Liked It
even when she was young.
Besides, she saw all the street business
go to the tall,
beautiful girls.
She thought that she never had a chance
competing against them.
Instead,
she would take their money by managing them.
X.
Going to a ****** was not looked down upon then.
It was before the pill;
Girls weren’t giving it away.
Claude specialized in
failed models and actresses,
ones who just missed the cut.
But just because they failed
in those impossible professions
didn’t mean they weren’t beautiful,
fabulous.
Like Avis
in those days,
those girls tried harder.
Her place was off the Champs,
just above a branch of the Rothschild bank, where I had an account.
Once I met her,
I was constantly making withdrawals and heading upstairs.
XI.
We took the lift
and Claude greeted us at the door.
My impression was that of the director
of an haute couture house,
very subdued,
beige and gray, very little makeup.
She took us into a lounge and made us drinks,
Whiskey,
Cognac.
There was no maid.
We made small talk for 15 minutes.
How was the weekend?
What’s the weather like in Deauville?
Then she made the segue. ‘I understand you’d like to see some jeunes filles?’
She always used ‘jeunes filles.’
This was Claude’s polite way of saying 18 to 25.
She left and soon returned
with two very tall
jeunes filles,
One was blonde.
This is Eva from Austria.
She’s here studying painting.
And a brunette,
very different,
but also very fine.
This is Claudia from Germany.
She’s a dancer.
She took the girls back into the apartment and returned by herself.
I gave my English guest first choice.
He picked the blonde.
And wasn’t disappointed.
Each bedroom had its own bidet.
There was some nice
polite conversation, and then
It was slightly formal,
but it was high-quality.
He paid Claude
200 francs,
not to the girls
In 1965, 200 francs was about $40.
Pretty girls on Rue Saint-Denis
could be had for 40 francs
so you can see the premium.
Still, it wasn’t out of reach for mere mortals.
You didn’t have to be J. Paul Getty.
XII.
A lot of them
were models at
Christian Dior
or other couture houses.
She liked Scandinavians.
That was the look then
—cold, tall, perfect.
It was cheap for the quality.
They all used her.
The best people wanted
the best women.
Elementary supply and demand.
XIII.
She had a camp number tattooed on her wrist. I saw it.
She showed it to me and Rubi.
She was proud she had survived.
We talked about the camp for hours.
It was even more fascinating than the girls.
She was Jewish
I’m certain of that.
She was horrified at the Jewish collaborators
at the camp who herded
their fellow Jews
into the gas chambers.
That was the greatest betrayal in her life.
XIV.
She was this sad,
lonely little woman.
Later, Patrick told me who she was.
I was bowled over.
It was like meeting Al Capone.
I met two of the girls
who worked for her.
One was what you would expect
Tall
Blonde
Model.
But the other looked like a Rat
Then one night
she came out
all dressed up,
I didn’t even recognize her.
She was even better than the first girl.
Claude liked to transform women like that.
That was her art.
It was very odd,
my cousin told me.
There was not much furniture
and an awful lot of telephones.
“Allô oui,”
XV.
I had so many lunches
with Claude at Ma Maison
She was vicious.
One day,
Margaux Hemingway,
at the height of her beauty, walked by.
Une bonne
—the French for maid
was how Claude cut her dead.
She reduced
the entire world
to rich men wanting *** and
poor women wanting money.
She’d love to page through Vogue and see someone
and say,
When I met her
she was called
Marlene
and she had a hideous nose
and now she’s a princess.
Or she’d see someone and say
Let’s see if she kisses me or not.
It was like
I made her,
and I can destroy her.
She was obsessed
with “fixing” people
—with Saint Laurent clothes,
with Cartier watches,
with Winston jewels,
with Vuitton luggage,
with plastic surgeons.
XVI.
Her prison number was
888
which was good luck in China
but not in California.
‘Ocho ocho ocho,’ she liked to repeat
Even in jail, she was always working,
always recruiting stunning women.
She had a beautiful Mexican cellmate
and gave her Robert Evans’s number
as the first person she should call
when she was released.
XVII.
Never have *** on the first date.
XVIII.
There will always be prostitution,
The prostitution of misery.
And the prostitution of bourgeois luxury.
They will both go on forever.
“Allô oui,”
It was so exciting to hear a millionaire
or a head of state ask,
in a little boy’s voice,
for the one thing
that only you could provide
It's not how beautiful you are, it's how you relate
--it's mostly dialogue.
She was tiny, blond, perfectly coiffed and Chanel-clad.
The French Woman: The Arab Prince, the Japanese Diplomat, the Greek Tycoon, the C.I.A. Bureau Chief — She Possessed Them All!
XIX.
She was like a slave driver in the American South
Once she took a *******,
the makeover put the girl in debt,
because Claude paid all the bills to
Dior,
Vuitton,
to the hairdressers,
to the doctors,
and the girls had to work to pay them off.
It was ****** indentured servitude.
My Swans.
It reached the point
where if you walked into a room
in London
or Rome
as much as Paris
because the girls were transportable,
and saw a girl who was
better-dressed,
better-looking,
and more distinguished than the others
you presumed
it was a girl from Claude.
It was, without doubt,
the finest *** operation ever run in the history of mankind.
**.
The girl had to be
exactly what was needed
so I had to teach her everything she didn’t know.
I played a little the role of Pygmalion.
There were basic things that absolutely had to be done.
It consisted
at the start
of the physical aspect
“surgical intervention”
to give this way of being
that was different from other girls.
Often they had to be transformed
into dream creatures
because at the start
they were not at all
Often I had to teach them how to dress.
Often they needed help
to repair
what nature had given them
which was not so beautiful.
At first they had to be tall,
with pretty gestures,
good manners.
I had lots of noses done,
chins,
teeth,
*******.
There was a lot to do.
Eight times out of ten
I had to teach them how to behave in society.
There were official dinners, suppers, weekends,
and they needed to have conversation.
I insisted they learn to speak English,
read
certain books.
I interrogated them on what they read.
It wasn’t easy.
Each time something wasn’t working,
I was obliged to say so.
You were very demanding?
I was ferocious.
It’s difficult
to teach a girl how to walk into Maxim’s
without looking
ill at ease
when they’ve never been there,
to go into an airport,
to go to the Ritz,
or the Crillon
or the Dorchester.
To find yourself
in front of a king,
three princes,
four ministers,
and five ambassadors at an official dinner.
There were the wives of those people!
Day after day
one had to explain,
explain again,
start again.
It took about two years.
There would always be a man
who would then say of her,
‘But she’s absolutely exceptional. What is that girl doing here?’ ”
XXI.
A New York publisher who visited
the Palace Hotel
in Saint Moritz
in the early seventies told me,
I met a whole bunch of them there.
They were lovely.
The johns wanted everyone to know who they were.
I remember it being said
Giovanni’s Madame Claude girl is going to be there.
You asked them where they came from and they all said
Neuilly.
Claude liked girls from good families.
More to the point she had invented their backgrounds.
I have known,
because of what I did,
some exceptional and fascinating men.
I’ve known some exceptional women too,
but that was less interesting
because I made them myself.
Ah, this question of the handbag.
You would be amazed by how much dust accumulates.
Or how often women’s shoe heels are scuffed.
XXII.
She would examine their teeth and finally she would make them undress.
That was a difficult moment
When they arrived they were very shy,
a bit frightened.
At the beginning when I take a look,
it’s a question of seeing if the silhouette
and the gestures are pretty.
Then there was a disagreeable moment.
I said,
I’m sorry about this unpleasantness,
but I have to ask you to get undressed,
because I can’t talk about you unless I see you.
Believe me, I was embarrassed,
just as they were,
but it had to be done,
not out of voyeurism, not at all
—I don’t like les dames horizontales.
It was very funny
because there were always two reactions.
A young girl,
very sure of herself,
very beautiful,
très bien,
would say
Yes,
Get up, and get undressed.
There was nothing to hide, everything was perfect.
There were those who
would start timidly
to take off their dress
and I would say
I knew already.
The rest is not sadism, but nearly.
I knew what I was going to find.
I would say,
Maybe you should take off your bra,
and I knew it wasn’t going to be
beautiful.
Because otherwise she would have taken it off easily.
No problem.
There were damages that could be mended.
There were some ******* that could be redone,
some not
Sometimes it can be deceptive,
you know,
you see a pretty girl,
a pretty face,
all elegant and slim,
well dressed,
and when you see her naked
it is a catastrophe.
I could judge their physical qualities,
I could judge if she was pretty, intelligent, and cultivated,
but I didn’t know how she was in bed.
So I had some boys,
good friends,
who told me exactly.
I would ring them up and say,
There’s a new one.
And afterwards they’d ring back and say,
Not bad,
Could be better, or
Nulle.
Or,
on the contrary,
She’s perfect.
And I would sometimes have to tell the girls
what they didn’t know.
A pleasant assignment?
No.
They paid.
XXIII.
Often at the beginning
they had an ami de coeur
in other words,
oh,
a journalist, a photographer, a type like that,
someone in the cinema,
an actor, not very well known.
As time went by
It became difficult
because they didn’t have a lot of time for him.
The fact of physically changing,
becoming prettier,
changing mentally to live with millionaires,
produced a certain imbalance
between them
and the little boyfriend
who had not evolved
and had stayed in his milieu.
At the end of a certain time
she would say,
I’m so much better than him. Why am I with this boy?
And they would break up by themselves.
Remember,
this was instant elevation.
For most of them it was a dream existence,
provided they liked the ***,
and those that didn’t never lasted long.
A lot of the clients were young,
and didn’t treat them like tarts but like someone from their own class.
They would buy you presents,
take you on trips.
XXIV.
For me, *** was something very accessoire
I think after a certain age
there are certain spectacles one should not give to others
Now I have a penchant for solitude.
Love, it’s a complete destroyer,
It’s impossible,
a horror,
l’angoisse.
It’s the only time in my life I was jealous.
I’m not a jealous person, but I was épouvantable.
He was jealous too.
We broke plates over each other’s heads;
we became jealous about each other’s pasts.
I said one day
It’s finished.
Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say:
Break my legs,
give me scarlet fever,
an attack of TB, but never that.
Not that.
XXV.
I called her into my office
Let us not exaggerate,
I sent her away.
She came back looking for employment,
but was fired again, this time for drugs.
She made menacing phone calls.
Then she arrived at the Rue de Boulainvilliers with a gun.
She shot three bullets
I was dressed in the fashion of Courrèges at this moment
He did very padded things.
I had a padded dress with a little jacket on top.
The bullet
—merci, Monsieur Courrèges
—stuck in the padding.
I was thrown forward onto the telephone.
I had one thought which went through my head:
I will die like Kennedy.
I turned round and put my hand up in a reflex.
The second bullet went through my hand.
I have two dead fingers.
It’s most useful for removing bottle tops.
In the corridor I was saved from the third bullet
because she was very tall
and I am quite petite, so it passed over my head.
XXVI.
There were men
who could decapitate,
****, and bomb their rivals
who would be frightened of me.
I would ask them how was the girl,
and they’d say
Not bad
and then
But I’m not complaining.
I was a little sadistic to them sometimes.
Some women have known powerful men because they’re their lover.
But I’ve known them all.
I had them all
here.
She will take many state secrets with her.
XXVI.
I don’t like ugly people
probably because when I was young
I wasn’t beautiful at all.
I was ugly and I suffered for it,
although not to the point of obsession.
Now that I’m an old woman,
I’m not so bad.
And that’s why
I’ve always been surrounded by people
Who
were
beautiful.
And the best way to have beautiful people around me
was to make them.
I made them very pretty.
XXVII.
I wouldn’t call what Alex gives you
‘advice,’
She spares you Nothing.
She makes a list of what she wants done,
and she really gets into it
I mean, she wants you to get your arms waxed.
She gives you names of people who do good facials.
She tells you what to buy at Neiman Marcus.
She’s put off by anything flashy,
and if you don’t dress conservatively, she’s got no problem telling you,
in front of an audience,
You look like a cheap *****!
I used to wear what I wanted when I went out
then change in the car into a frumpy sweater
when I went to give her the money she’d always go,
Oh, you look beautiful!
Marry your boyfriend,
It’s better than going to prison.
When you go out with her,
she’ll buy you a present; she’s incredibly generous that way.
And she’ll always tell you to save money and get out.
It’s frustrating to her when girls call at the end of the month
and say they need rent money.
She wants to see you do well.
We had a schedule, with cards that indicated a client’s name,
what he liked,
the names of the girls he’d seen,
and how long he’d been with them.
And I only hired girls who had another career
—if my clients had a choice between drop-dead-gorgeous
and beautiful-and-interesting,
they’d tend to take beautiful-and-interesting.
These men wanted to talk.
If they spent two hours with a girl,
they usually spent only five or ten minutes in bed.
I get the feeling that in Los Angeles, men are more concerned with looks.
XXVIII.
That was my big idea
Not to expand the book by aggressive marketing
but to make sure that nobody
mistook my girls for run-of-the-mill hookers.
And I kept my roster fresh.
This was not a business where you peddle your ***,
get exploited,
and then are cast off.
I screen clients. I’ve never sent girls to weirdos.
I let the men know:
no violence,
no costumes,
no fudge-packing.
And I talked to my girls. I’d tell them:
Two and a half years and you’re burned out.
Save your money.
This is like a hangar
—you come in, refuel, and take off.
It’s not a vacation, it’s not a goof.
This buys the singing lessons,
the dancing lessons,
the glossies.
This is to help you pay for what your parents couldn’t provide.
It’s an honorable way station—a lot of stars did this.
XXIX.
To say someone was a Claude girl is an honour, not a slur.
Une femme terrible.
She despised men and women alike.
Men were wallets. Women were holes.
By the 80s,
if you were a brunette,
the sky was the limit.
The Saudis
They’d call for half a dozen of Alex’s finest,
ignore them all evening while they
chatted,
ate,
and played cards,
and then, around midnight,
take the women inside for a fast few minutes of ***.
They’d order women up like pizza.
Since my second husband died,
I only met one man who was right for me,
He was a sheikh.
I visited him in Europe
twenty-eight times
in the five years I knew him
and I never slept with him.
He’d say
I think you fly all the way here just to tease me,
but he introduced me
by phone
to all his powerful friends.
When I was in Los Angeles, he called me twice a day.
That’s why I never went out
he would have been disappointed.
***.
Listen to me
This is a woman’s business.
When a woman does it, it’s fun
there’s a giggle in it
when a man’s involved,
he’s ******,
he’s a ****.
He may know how to keep girls in line,
and he may make money,
but he doesn’t know what I do.
I tell guys: You’re getting a nice girl.
She’s young,
She’s pleasant,
She can do things
she can certainly make love.
She’s not a rocket scientist, but she’s everything else.
The world’s richest and most powerful men, the announcer teased.
An income “in the millions,” said the arresting officer.
Pina Colapinto
A petite call girl,
who once slid between the sheets of royalty,
a green-eyed blonde helped the police get the indictment.
They really dolled her up
She looks great.
Never!
What I told her was: ‘Wash that ******.’
XXXI.
Madam Alex died at 7 p.m.
Saturday at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center,
where she had been in intensive care after recent open heart surgery
We all held her hand when they took her off the life support
This was the passing of a legend.
Because she was the mother superior of prostitution.
She was one of the richest women on earth.
The world came to her.
She never had to leave the house.
She was like Hugh Hefner in that way.
It's like losing a friend
In all the years we played cat and mouse,
she never once tried to corrupt me.
We had a lot of fun.
To those who knew her
she was as constant
as she was colorful
always ready with a good tidbit of gossip
and a gourmet lunch for two.
She entertained, even after her conviction on pandering charges,
from the comfy depths of her blue four-poster bed at her home near Doheny Drive,
surrounded by knickknacks and meowing cats,
which she fed fresh shrimp from blue china plates.
XXXII.
She stole my business,
my books,
my girls,
my guys.
I had a good run.
My creatures.
Make Mommy happy
Oh! He is the most enchanting cat that I have ever known.
She was, how can I say it,
classy.
When she first hired me
she thought I was too young to take her case.
I was 43.
I'm going to give you some gray hairs by the time this is over.
She was right.
XXXIII.
I was fond of Heidi
But she has a streak that is so vindictive.
If there is pure evil, it is Madame Alex.
XXXIV.
I was born and raised in L.A.
My dad was a famous pediatrician.
When he died, they donated a bench to him at the Griffith Park Observatory.
I think that Heidi wanted to try her wings
pretty early,
and I think that she met some people
who sort of took all her potential
and gave it a sharp turn
She knew nothing.
She was like a little parrot who repeated what she was supposed to say.
Alex and I had a very intense relationship;
I was kind of like the daughter she loved and hated,
so she was abusive and loving at the same time.
Look, I know Madam Alex was great at what she did
but it's like this:
What took her years to build,
I built in one.
The high end is the high end,
and no one has a higher end than me.
In this business, no one steals clients.
There's just better service.
XXXV.
You were not allowed to have long hair
You were not allowed to be too pretty
You were not allowed to wear too much makeup or be too glamorous
Because someone would fall in love with you and take you away.
And then she loses the business
XXXVI.
I was pursued because
come on
in our lifetime,
we will never see another girl of my age
who lived the way I did,
who did what I did so quickly,
I made so many enemies.
Some people had been in this line of business
for their whole lives, 30 or 40 years,
and I came in and cornered the market.
Men don't like that.
Women don't like that.
No one liked it.
I had this spiritual awakening watching an Oprah Winfrey video.
I was doing this 500-hour drug class
and one day the teacher showed us this video,
called something like Make It Happen.
Usually in class I would bring a notebook
and write a letter to my brother or my journal,
but all of a sudden this grabbed my attention
and I understood everything she said.
It hit me and it changed me a lot.
It made me feel,
Accept yourself for who you are.
I saw a deeper meaning in it
but who knows, I might have just been getting my period that day!
XXXVII.
Hello, Gina!
You movie star!
Yes you are!
Gina G!
Hello my friend,
Hello my friend,
Hello my movie star,
Ruby! Ruby Boobie!
Braaawk!
Except so many women say,
Come on, Heidi
you gotta do the brothel for us; don't let us down.
It would be kind of fun opening up an exclusive resort,
and I'll make it really nice,
like the Beverly Hills Hotel
It'll feel private; you'll have your own bungalow.
The only problem out here is the climate—it's so brutal.
Charles Manson was captured a half hour from Pahrump.
I said, Joe! What are you doing?
You gotta get, like,
a garter belt and encase it in something
and write,
This belonged to Suzette Whatever,
who entertained the Flying Tigers during World War II.
Get, like, some weird tools and write,
These were the first abortion tools in the brothel,
you know what I mean?
Just make some **** up!
So I came out here to do some research
And then I realized,
What am I doing?
I'm Heidi Fleiss. I don't need anyone.
I can do this.
When I was doing my research, in three months
I saw land go from 30 thousand an acre
to 50 thousand an acre,
and then it was going for 70K!
It's urban sprawl
—we're only one hour from Las Vegas.
Out here the casinos are only going to get bigger,
prostitution is legal, it's only getting better.
XXXVIII.
The truth is
deep down inside,
I just can't do business with him
He's the type of guy who buys Cup o' Noodles soup for three cents
and makes his hookers buy it back from him for $5.
It's not my style at all.
Who wants to be 75 and facing federal charges?
It was different at my age when I
at least...come on, I lived really well.
I was 22,
25 at the time?
It was fun then, but now I wouldn't want
to deal with all that *******
—the girls and blah blah blah.
But the money was really good.
I would've told someone they were out of their ******* mind
if they'd said in five years I'd be living with all these animals like this.
It's hard-core; how I live;
It's totally a nonfunctional atmosphere for me
It's hard to get anything done because
It’s so time-consuming.
I feel like they're good luck though....
I do feel that if I ever get rid of them,
I will be jinxed and cursed the rest of my life
and nothing I do will ever work again.
Guys kind of are a hindrance to me
Certainly I have no problem getting laid or anything.
But a man is not a priority in my life.
I mean, it's crazy, but I really have fun with my parrots.
XXXIX.
I started a babysitting circle when I wasn't much older than 9
And soon all the parents in the neighborhood
wanted me to watch over their children.
Even then I had an innate business sense.
I started farming out my friends
to meet the demand.
My mother showered me with love and my father,
a pediatrician,
would ask me at the dinner table,
What did you learn today?
I ran my neighborhood.
I just pick up a hustle really easily,
I was a waitress and I met an older guy who looked like Santa Claus.
Alex was a 5' 3" bald-headed Filipina
in a transparent muu muu.
We hit it off.
I didn't know at the time that I was there to pay off the guy's gambling debt.
It's in and out,
over and out.
Do you think some big-time producer
or actor is going to go to the clubs and hustle?
Columbia Pictures executive says:
I haven’t done anything that should cause any concern.
Jeez, it's like the Nixon enemies list.
I hope I'm on it.
If I'm not, it means I must not be big enough
for people to gossip about me.
That's right ladies and gentlemen.
I am an alleged madam and that is a $25 *****!
If you live out here,
you've got to hate people.
You've got to be pretty antisocial
How you gonna come out here with only 86 people?
That's Fred.
He's digging to China.
You look good.
Yeah, you too.
It's coming along here.
Yeah, it is.
I wanted to buy that lot there, but I guess it's gone?
That's mine, man! That's all me.
Really?
I thought there was a lot between us.
No. We're neighbors.
He's a cute guy
He's entertaining.
See, I kind of did do something shady to him.
I thought my property went all the way back
and butted up against his.
But there was one lot between us right there.
He said he was buying it,
but I saw the 'For Sale' sign still up there,
So I went and called the broker and said,
I'm an all-cash buyer.
So I really bought it out from under him.
But he's got plenty of room, and I need the space for my parrots.
Pahrump will always be Pahrump, but Crystal is going to be nice
All you need are four or five fancy houses and it'll flush everyone out
and it'll be a nice area.
They're all kind of weird here, but these people will go.
Like this guy here,
someone needs to **** him.
I was just saying to my dad that these parrots are born to a really ******-up world
He goes, Heidi, no, no; the world is a beautiful garden.
It's just, people are destroying it.
I’m looking into green building options
I don't want anything polluting,
I want a huge auditorium,
but it'll be like a jungle where my birds can really fly!
Where they can really do what they're supposed to do.
There were over 300 birds in there!
That lady,
She ran the exotic-birds department for the Tropicana Hotel,
which is a huge job.
She called me once at 3:30 in the morning
Come over here and help me feed this baby!
Some baby parrot.
And I ran over there in my pajamas
—I knew there was something else wrong
and she was like
Get me my oxygen!
Get me this, get me that.
I called my dad; he was like,
I don't know, honey, you better call the paramedics.
They ended up getting a helicopter.
And they were taking her away
in the wind with her IV and blood and everything
and she goes, Heidi, you take care of my birds.
And she dies the next day.
She was just a super-duper person.
XL.
I relate to the lifestyle she had before,
Now, I'm just a citizen.
I'm clean,
I'm sober,
I'm married,
I work at Wal-Mart.
I'm proud to say I know her. I look into her eyes
and we relate.
I got out in 2000,
so I've been sending her money for seven years
She was…whatever.
Girlfriend?
Yeah, maybe.
But ***, I tried like two times,
and I'm just not gay.
She gets out in about eight or nine months
and I told her I would get her a house.
But nowhere near me.
I didn't touch her,
but I'd be, like...
a funny story:
I told her,
Don't you ever ******* think
about contacting me in the real world.
I'm not a lesbian.
Then about two years ago, I got an e-mail from her,
or she called me and said, 'Google my name.'
So I Googled her name,
and she has this huge company.
Huge!
She won, like, Woman of the Year awards.
So I called her and I go,
Not bad.
She goes, 'Well, I did all that because you called me a loser.'
I go, '****, I should've called you more names
you probably would've found the cure for cancer by now.
XLI.
No person shall be employed by the licensee
who has ever been convicted of
a felony involving moral turpitude
But I qualify,
I mean, big deal, so I'm a convicted felon.
Being in the *** industry, you can't be so squeaky-clean.
You've got to be hustling.
Nighttime is really enchanting here
It's like a whole 'nother world out here, it really is
I’m so far removed from my social life and old surroundings.
Who was it, Oscar Wilde, I think, who said
people can adjust to anything.
I was perfectly adjusted in the penitentiary,
and I was perfectly adjusted to living in a château in France.
We had done those drug addiction shows together
Dr. Drew.
Afterward we were friendly
and he'd call me every now and then.
He'd act like he had his stuff together.
But it was all a lie.
Everything is a lie.
I brought him to a Humane Society event at Paramount Studios last year.
He was just such a mess.
So out of it.
He stole money from my purse.
He's such a drug addict because he's so afraid of being fat.
He liked horse ****, though. He did like horse ****.
This one woman that would have *** with a horse on the internet,
He told me that’s his favorite actress.
Better than Meryl Streep.
XLII.
The cops could see
why these women were taking over trade.
Girls with these looks charged upwards of $500 an hour.
The Russians had undercut them with a bargain rate of $150 an hour.
One thing they are not is lazy.
In the USSR
they grew up with no religion, no morality.
Prostitution is not considered a bad thing.
In fact, it’s considered a great way to make money.
That’s why it’s exploding here.
What we saw was just a tip of the iceberg.
These girls didn’t come over here expecting to be nannies.
They knew exactly what they wanted and what they were getting into.
The madam who organized this raid
was making $4 million a year,
laundered through Russian-owned banks in New York City
These are brutal people.
They are all backstabbers.
They’re entrepreneurs.
They’re looking at $10,000 a month for turning tricks.
For them, that’s the American dream.
XLIII.
If you’re not into something,
don’t be into it
But,
if you want to take some whipped cream,
put it between your toes,
have your dog licking it up and,
at the same time,
have your girlfriend poke you in the eye,
then that’s fine.
That’s a little weird but we shouldn’t judge.
She was my best friend then
and I consider her one of my best friends now,
because when I was going through Riker’s
and everyone abandoned me,
including my boyfriend,
I was hysterical,
crying,
and she was the one that was there.
And, when somebody needed to step up to the plate,
that’s who did, and I have an immense amount of
loyalty, respect, and love for her.
And if she’s going to prison for eight years
—that’s what she’s sentenced for
—I’ll go there,
and I’ll go there every week,
for eight years.
That’s the type of person I am.