So I was just thinking about you, and I was like, I think I should tell you a few things about you that you probably already know just so you know how I see you. I came up with this list of three things.

Okay, 1: The way you look at the world makes you a great person instead of a normal person. You lack the cynicism I see in a lot of people. Your attitude is admirable, because you walk forward in spite of fear, and you project confidence.

All right 2: When you laugh and smile, your eyes scrunch up and you get laugh lines there and all over your face. A lot of people call laugh lines crows feet, especially when they're by your eyes. I think that it's a sign that you've lived a life where you've always held onto how to listen to someone. Mostly, I find that people need to talk about how good they are at listening and miss the point. You open your ears genuinely, and do it without asking anything in return. So I guess what I'm saying is that it's okay if you get crows feet.

And then there's number 3: When I mention farting, you talk about your gas. When I nudge you, you nudge back. When I call you a punk, you call me a big **** face. This is just one thing, so it's not cheating -- those are just examples. What I mean is, you're the completion of a loop, even if it's just the loop between two humans knowing each other.

They tell me it's simple,
really not that hard to do,
Even if you don't believe it,
try to,
say and pretend you do and it'll help.

so I try.
I try my best.
but the words sting my tongue,
they make my heart sink
and a pit bubble in my stomach.
Sometimes they make me cry,
because I try so hard
to believe the words I'm saying
I'm trying so hard to make them true
but I can't,
because I know those words are lies.

"Look in the mirror
and tell yourself you're beautiful,
that you're worth something."
But I can't.
Because it's too big of a lie.

Little Tony came running
to his Grandpa Billy:
"Grandpa, Grandpa
can you make sounds like a frog?"

And Grandpa Billy said:
"Well, Tony...I reckon I could make
frog sounds if I tried"

"Yes!" shouted Tony, radiating all eagerness
*"That's good. Now we can all
go to Disneyland, just as grandma said,
when you croak."

The rainstorm seemed to retire, but that was ignorant to think. I had expectations, nothing so dramatic. All I looked for was a promise or a resolution. You know my true feelings, but you still won’t promise me what I want. I felt overflowed, like living in a darkened tunnel. Your own preciousness is silent. What I could have done with a few seconds more, but I watched you through the window. We used to sleep like that. Now wire fences rule my life. It is so so silent.

It’s like dividing signals, that is what amazed me. I have to resist the impulse to grab you and hold you. I still see you, slipped into the underlife. The faith of our bodies is crying a little. I love starting things, but I have to pause. All I can take is the greatest pleasure, a replica. I feel like I have a plastic bandage made of lavender. Anxious, with fire to fire, I will try to slip you into the night. As the sun rises and the day turns black, the cotton-fields stand in my way but I still see you. The inevitable is happening. We are reaching for death on the end of a candle, we are trying for something that’s already found us. We are like a storm or some holy dream. Calling out doesn’t do anything. The sound of glass speaks quickly and I’ve been down for son long that it looks up to me now. I have never been heard. I am troubled, immeasurably by your eyes.

The sun, crawling into the horizon gets ready to receive another merchant soul. Upon his departure he will float away, into the madness of the world. He'll leave his love behind, a dream washed away by the rising night and a new beginning with the arrival of the moon. A sigh of love falls into the endless ocean, with despair crashing into the waves, yet to belong in a new home. He was gone, one push, enough to free a soul away. The wind never brought back what it took away, nothing was ever the same.

It was six in the morning while we drove downtown. There were some freaks, but it was just a human pattern. We drove past them and kept going while we watched the children running, the hospitals dumpster and the virgins graduate. We drove into nowhere, and it was dark with the trees surrounding the car. I had been deceived, and I was shuttering to my knees; but there was a rebelliousness to it. It was a battle of shadows, but you still didn’t have any opinions. I said: Let me start by asking you. But I couldn’t finish, it was the absence of badness–the **** beds and the soaking pillows that filled your empty room. You never felt it again, like a dry wall, empty on the inside. Breathlessly I gasped for some air, and reach out for you.