I want to float home,
high heels in hand,
arm in arm with you,
you
and your hippy music I love,
you
and your quiet ways,
my lips on your cheek

(and my number there, above your heart,
scrawled in sharpie)

and us surrounded by bodies,
the pull of the music
deafening in that crowded basement

obscure lagers and a young ego,
temporary tattoos courtesy
of another drunken night

earlier--
in the parking lot,
voices called my name from the dark,
the sound rising over our heads and shoulders,
the feel of it in the hollow of my chest

belonging

I see and hear and feel
so much
Where does it all go?

how long does it take for the loss to set in?
- 5 hours, or until the church ladies arrive, laden with casseroles and condolences
where does the time go?
- fast forward four years, Young Heart,
remember summer nights by the river
how do you live now?
- long nights and loud music, Sunday brunch and sunny afternoons.

Good friends, cheap beer, always looking up.

cold sores and energy drinks
streets awash in sepia tones
voices tripped along the edge of
darkness
I led the group of us,
already drunk, joyful, stumbling--
across the half-lit parking lot

then, clear and strong, breaking
through the noise of the crowd

(the sound of my name and the feel of my small victory, here I am, victorious,
belonging)

April 14th
it would be so simple,
to step back into that dream

April 16th,
one class,
                monster +

April 17th (halfway) squirrel + Nat's BDAY @Avery? Gin + Tonic
Max is in the corner, coughing
up blood
world town above our heads
mushrooms and pipe dreams
sad poetry with your
guns up
birthday cards,
gin + tonic
your eyes never left
my face
couple of lovers left
__ before the sad sets in
I love the straight of
your nose + the set of your mouth
smoky lights outline
the night
guys are ***** w/ red
solo cups
sorry, he's too drunk
keep going till the
goldschlagger

locked out of our house
on our way to the angel's
kitchen

here's to Nat
tall like a tree
and just as wise,
quiet kind (and quite the friend)

Kady is almost here
Max left as I took my seat