I stare in the mirror and what stares back?
An apoplectic apparition wishin' he could concentrate,
But wishin's only fishin' with a shoe string and a roll of tape.
Paranoia resonates, the social pressures shower down,
Gleaming rays of expectation force a smile upon my frown.
The neverending battle wages on between myself and I,
Then there's me and him and her and them and us~
So what's the fuss?  You paid a hefty fee to ride with us
Upon the crazy bus.  
Buy the ticket, take the ride.
What's the matter, too much pride?
Untie your demons, let us fly.
****.
The knot has come undone.
Next time I'll have to use the gun.
But without us you'll be no fun!
That might be true...
Here's what I'll do.
I'll take these drugs to silence you
When I'm within the public view.
Then at night I'll let you out,
This rhyme scheme is getting kind of boring.
Yeah....

Hell...
Hell is that moment when you
Open the door and find a
Rabid dog
Feasting
On the entrails of your
Newborn child.
Your mind slips even further
Down the chute as you realize
The dog has not a clue
It's done anything wrong.

Jesus Christ, 15 AD

Today was a good day. I sneaked away to the cave and lit a bush on fire so I could communicate with my father. I’m not sure why I even bother telling Him things because He already knows them… I guess I just like hearing his voice. Today I asked Him if it would be alright for me to start practicing my miracles… AND HE SAID YES!!! XD He says I need a lot of practice before I go taking it public because nobody would believe I’m the son of God if I ******* one up. Also, I’m pretty sure he wants to preserve his reputation… so I started practicing on sheep. It’s a good thing shepherds are already so far away from towns because if people witnessed what I was doing to these sheep PETA would be at my doorstep in a matter of days. For those of you who don’t know, PETA is an organization created by Satan for animals because he thinks it hilarious that they should have a place in heaven, too. HA HA SATAN, very funny…

So my first miracles were simple. I was to heal all of the injured sheep in my flock. This went over fairly well, until I came to the blind sheep. I tried healing her and her eyeballs melted right out her skull! REVERSE MIRACLE! REVERSE MIRACLE! I shouted as I waved my staff in a panic. Then in the background a bush lit ablaze, “Son, you know waving that staff around won’t cause anything to happen. Magic wands and staffs are pagan nonsense. Since your birth I’ve disabled all of their so-called magical instruments, so now they’re nothing but a bunch of ritualistic heathens.” Anyway, Father fixed the poor sheep’s eyes and I was scolded for harming the animal. He sometimes makes me flog myself…

Lunch: Stale bread and glass of water.

After lunch is training time. My father had me build a crucifix inside a cave hidden deep in the desert hills so that I can practice for the big day! I spend 2 hours a day roped to that cross, and another hour or so doing self-mutilation. More flogging. I keep asking Father if he’ll send me down a practice angel so that I don’t have to keep beating myself, but he said all the angels who were into that sort of thing migrated south… So here I am… alone… in a cave… fists full of blood and rope burned wrists. Heading home to watch my parents argue and maybe I’ll turn their water into laudanum so that I may have a decent night’s sleep.

oh don't dream

lift my mouth to kiss
every various coiled fantasy
in you sleeping

i have or will you

whisper a single immortal thought of nothing

fair skinned with a slight corona to each iris

drooping clothed in slumber

and i will( if you should let me)bring
more nice than dreams
into your head
each night, but oh don't dream

Staring at every strand of noodle in my plate
as it swirls around my fork
that's the best I can do here
with you, all of you
so pretentious you
so self obsessed you
erasing the thin line between insults and fun
you, the ever so cocksmart, you
waiting for time to pass by
one millisecond at a time
raising my spoon, slowly,
doing injustice to its destiny of fulfilling
the tongues it touches
gulp
I can feel it, whole
lowering down my throat, part by part
being pulled down, like me by you
and down it goes
while I play with the next strand around the daunting fork.

You are quite a gifted surgeon.
In fact you cut me so clean and sharp
I barely even knew it at the time.
Waking the next day in my hospital bed
was where I met my pain.
Being with you was like anesthesia:
I was so grateful for you to help me.
You were the one who weakened me.
My senses failed: your scalpel cut
clean to the core, and then I just let you
sew me back together. The nurses say
I am very lucky, that I had a good doctor.
I know better. I was once a person and
now I am Sally Stitches, or better yet, Raggedy Ann.
I am no one's operation game.
Letting you in brings only stitches and needles,
and it was I who checked myself in.
I need to learn to stitch myself at home.
Consider this my checking out.

Your name may mean "Warrior"
But I'm the one that fights
I fought to keep you happy
So you could make it through the night

Three years after we became "friends"
After months of laughs and cries
After I gave you nearly everything
And I alone dried your bloodshot eyes

You said you were in love with me
But I know that is a lie
You have a girlfriend, stupid
And I've got someone who's mine

So because you cannot have me
In your bed, all to yourself
You're leaving me entirely
Like an old doll upon your shelf

***. That's all you want from me!?
After all I've done for you?
You literally wouldn't be here
If I hadn't come to your rescue

So fine. Just leave.
My best friend.
My brother.
Let me know when you've had time
To find yourself
Another.


You can't, by the way.