I was 8
Breaktimes at school were the best
I remember the small field-not-pitch
Where we played football
Not as a game of 22 players
and referees and rules
It was a game of 44;
No, 46 self acclaimed stars
It was a game of the whole school
Everybody against everybody
Indiscriminate of ***
Or skill
Of height differences or body frame
Tackled by your teammates for dribbling too much
You could pick up the ball and run
Rugby style to the opposition post
Then kick to score and most likely, miss
Or get mobbed even before you get to the post
It was all so exciting;
Such disorganization;
So much fun.

Our eyes locked together
Chained for the better
I wanted to speak
But I didn't want to upset her
Working the courage up
I said 'What's up?',
I felt very foolish,
What's up? Who says that still?
She's looking nervous
Maybe she's thinking it was perverse
Like somehow up
was an innuendo on a *****,
I tried again, to reassure her,
'When I said up, I didn't mean my *****',
Oh god, I just said ***** to her,
She's throwing all kinds of strange looks
Do I tell her I'm copying some game books?
Do I tell her , I'm just kidding? Is it too late?
I stopped myself.

Waited for a response.

She's still staring into my eyes
Captivating my truth and lies
Her eyes the colour of blue
Well more azure, but as azure
as sure as the sky.

Her mouth gestured a smile,
Then her hands started moving,
Is she signalling me to hold her hands?
She's moving them an awful lot,
What do I do? What do I say?
I went and grabbed for her palms,
Interlocking my fingers between hers
And as it occurs
the man nearby looks at me
Mumbles
'She's speaking in sign language,
I think she's mute',

I took my hands away,
Hiding from the embarrassment,
I hope she doesn't consider it
Harassment,
I looked around,
Unsure of what I was to do.

I speak again, and last time I did,
It didn't go well,
So why would it go well now?
'I'm sorry for how awkward it's been,
I'm just a dumb and stupid teen,
But I think you're extremely pretty,
And if you don't mind can I take you out to the city?'

She looks at me , nods her head.
Then under her breath, I hear ,
'I would love to'.

Bright red like a tomato,
WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING ?

You're across the room.
With eyes that spread fire
throughout my body
and hands that devour
my eternal bliss
in a series of fingers,
clashing and tangling
like the jungle that once held
the most ferocious of beasts,
but is now corrupt with the
subjects he once ruled.

*and I don't know if I'm running to
or from you