To be omniscient,
all knowing.
Wished for over a long period of time,
desiring the unspeakable knowledge.
Clawing the insides, tearing up the mind,
due to the simple desire for truth.
Possibilities rounding the corner of every thought,
to be settled into a straight line of clarity.

To be innocent,
unknowing.
Wishing to go back,
desiring the knowledge be erased.
Cutting the outside, shattering the mind,
due to the impossible desire to reverse.
Possibilities never ending continuing around,
spiraling as if forced into clarity too soon.

I'm just some guy who knows
Pain just like you,
Who fell in love deeply and fell
From her grace:

I am in a room filled with language,
The density of words full of memories -
Talking to them I talk to her.
      Night grows darkly
With obstinate scars on her skies,
    We have tied a destiny
In different directions,
    We end in the same destination.
You,
       Me ,
We,
     Us....
I explode like a sun on a depopulated world,
No one to witness a beautiful destruction,
     I am alone
Talking to air
       Talking to you,
Your presence is a nameless womb,
     Carrying the birth of my world,
You're missing turns in my skull,
    I cannot forget you
    The room fills with a pause;

The words take your shape,
You become the living waters,
   Daily I drink of you,
But I thirst for your fountain.
   I reach out to you,
The mist is real and you are there,
Weightless,
Tears form at my eyes.

Now you are here in these words
Navigator of language,
Piercing the syllables at every
Spoken word,
Your roots are deep in the sky,
Your love ripples in time
Like crashing waves at the life
Of my shores,
I write the fabric of the past,
Which is now an open wound,
    The echoes haunting
And dispersing sculptures of your body,
I am surrounded by language,
   Your memory a poem,
Talking to me talking to you.

The gap between our fingertips widen
Cool winds whistle warmth discipates
Your set for a new adventure
Without me as your guide
I know now the oldness of me
Has rusted your heart
I understand we both threw stones
Only so much sanding and primer
Can hide all the dents
I see it in your eyes
The color of happiness has faded with time
So go now seek somthing new
When that wears off you can find me
In the vintage section
Painted and shiny looking new

The chapters with the scene in the South
Civil rights outcry contesting with the mouth
Fighting for racial boundaries
Foes wanted to take away
But a man so mighty, but continuing struggles not on this day
Medgar Evers being an educated man, but education entitled in being anyone’s right
But there was no time to sit and just be polite
Medgar Evers being a man that saw Justice in not being right
Yet deep in Medgar Evers heart, he saw struggles in equality being a plight
Eyes of the world looked on
Opposition within negative felt equality didn’t belong
There was a sense in the air that separation needed to be in place
But Medgar Evers was determined it would be erased
But this rattled Medgar Evers mind
Why was hatred so sublime in racism being blocked like window blinds
Even after Medgar Evers was assassinated
Investigations upon investigations were never really complete
Justice in answered continued chapters was full of deceit
There were very questionable statements
But all kinds of thoughts that continued to go on
However no credible sources precise
But there was a break in the case
In between sentences being an absolute cover up waste
The novel shed lights into delights
Plights open with a new spotlight
Evidence that was definitely overlooked
Someone was adding the facts in aiding the crooks
Medgar Evers being a man that shouted out to the world
But it caught the attention of the media, as facts were looked into further with surprising results
But the aftermath of the novel made foes and righteous hearts swirl
Medgar Evers motto, “Stand up for what’s right, but never settle for wrongful acts”.

My feelings are unprocessed quinoa being **** out in whole chunks.
I stare at them in my toilet bowl of a brain.
"huh, you look exactly the same... maybe a little *******"
They say those words back to me.
Savage little beasts.
They tell me my body was supposed to take them in, absorb them, and be healthier.
Well, I was always taught to try , try,  again!
So I valiantly scoop my handful of **** from the toilet and scarf down my quinoa emotions... they taste even worse the second time around.
I cross my fingers as I gag down the last bit.
Will swallowing my emotions clog me up?
Maybe this time I'll be emotionally constipated, again, for weeks!
Until my insides internally combust and paint these frustrating  yellow walls around me **** brown,
To match the matte nails I got last Wednesday.
Or maybe it'll induce explosive diarrhea!
And I'll **** out every thing lining my insides until I can't even feel my metaphorical *******, while word vomiting my secrets to people I will later deeply regret.
Or maybe, just maybe,
My body will do what it's supposed to do,
And my enzymes will ferociously come to my rescue!
Maybe I'll feel it all being broken down inside me,
And released.
Released.
I'm so sick of eating ****.