The slow dance was so relaxed
so easy
so real my feet float

i miss your gentle step dear
come home soon

my lover had statues
beautiful pale ivory skin
just like his.

he rarely took me seriously
said i was a child
under his great art, i succumb

I will always, faithfully,
be his muse
under his light, i flourish.

intertwined, we awoke burnt out in ash.

I've seen the universe through a telescope
all the vast, grasping so little purpose.
But next to you
watching the rise and fall of your chest
as you're sound asleep next to me
I felt the meaning of universe
trapped in the breathe of your lungs.

Goodness,
you look happy
I can see your happiness.
And boy,
she is pretty.

Her brown hair is shorter than mine,
curlier too.
Oh! She wears glasses!
How confidently she wore them.
Yes, light eyes does look good with everything.

I see you cherishing her
holding her in your palm
like a tiny pearl

I am happy for you,
if i wasnt I'd be selfish.
But that was the day,
happiness became more than a word.
It became my nightmare.

45 seconds of peace
I opened my eyes
my hair afloat, and my toes kicking through the water
the ocean consumes me.
45 seconds of waves
crashing on my vessel
I am cleansed
I am new

What a dream it is
Loving you
Your tender touch
Opened me up
Like the boundless skyline

What a nightmare it is
Missing you
An impending storm
The air an uneasy feeling
The longing for release

What a reality
Seeing you again
The storm that takes over my body
Lifting me off the ground
Like Dorothy, i found a fantasy land.

I reckon
Love is overrated
Among the broken wedding Chinas
the divorce paper rested gracefully
She looked at peace signing it
So fast
So sure
I suppose love is overrated
For those that are unfortunate.

There exist an embarrassment,
when your dog chooses your friend over you

you know its not the animals fault
but it sure feels like it

its interesting how we place faults in things other than our own

The Universe smiled when you were born
She told the Whales of a gentle child
who was born to make the world better
she sang to the birds
of a soul so kind and funny
she almost wish she could take credit in creating you

Now you sit in a cubicle
working your dreams away for other people's luxury.
The walls felt caved in, but it never crushes you
You can't work if you are dead.
the ceiling of a blinding white light
Small talks that leave you emptier than before

But you did not disappoint The Universe
She understands
She may sign and look away
but in the smallest kindest of your actions
she writes a new fate for you
a path sealed by the cosmos.

I swim in a small pond
and there I find comfort
they tell me that I can only grow
as big as the pond I live in

but what is wrong with being small?
I like the small pond I swim in
for I know I wont grow if I go
I will drown.

In her very last breathe,
she looked over at him.
He seemed so frail now, shivering from sadness
She blinked, and suddenly her wrinkly hand turned smooth again
she is 18, he is 19.
He held her hand, the one that had anti-depressants clunched in her fist
He made the promises of marriage, of children,
of the career she wanted, of sending their children off
he made the promise of strength, of love, of light.
Finally, he made the promise of a love that is constant.
She let go of the clunched fist, and sobbed towards the future she longed for. She saw it all in his eyes, every wrinkle they'd grow.
She blinked again, and the wrinkles were all there.
With her tiny hands she stroked his tears away
as he once did to hers
and she stared straight into his eyes
their life frame by frame
"you never did break your promise."
Her last words.

I have my hope
in my little London apartment
in my Tiffany blue robe
what happens when it stops raining?
Will I miss my umbrella and polkadot raincoats?
It doesn't matter.
I have my hope
but today, it rains.

The rose will die tomorrow
when the winter frost finally catches on

but today the fall sun still shines

Something funny tends to happen
when you realize youre in love
the bitterness of goodbyes finds you
when you thought you were immune
you desperately grab onto them
weeping for just a see you later

Love is not like anything else
it does not thrive in scarcity
but rather in its abundance
do we learn its value.

When the lord put smoke in my lungs
I saw the world in 5 more colors
I begged the lord
do not let me drown
I danced wildly in my head
with music that only I could hear
every instrument so clearly
banging on the rhyme of my delusions
And so I pulled on my burnt skin
not knowing where the smoke came from
the lord, or my little world on fire

The even breathe in the mist of nights
your chest steadily rising up and down
your warmth against my skin
like an adventurist
I wander into depth i could not fathom
fearful yet serene
serendipity i suppose
to wander right into your arms

Only 17
still a child.
She walks into the ocean
face barely above the water, floating in the unknown
but the sky burst--

into such majesty
the red, the orange, the paint sliding across canvas
oh how the water moved her

so she shed a tear
for the waves that told her sweet nothings
the sand was a relief
a soft ground to land on
She would die for this.

Like little marbles in a child's toy box
rolling around in forgotten shimmers.
A little glory that meant nothing-
that was our first kiss.
It's a perilously thin line
being in lust and being in love.

I want to thank you
faceless, nameless reader
for your kindness of sparing a second
reading an awkward soul's mundane poems.
Like screaming into a void with echoes.

you don't know me
but you lift the burden of my stress
so thank you
I hope warmth and kindness find you always
for a simple act of sparing a second to read my poem.

When I was 5, I looked for God in churches.
but I found his face in ivory and gold, stiff as dead.
It is a sin they say
But I look upon his face
his warmth
his words
and there I found a merciful god
letting my wary head fall in a gentle, gentle sleep.

I could barely find the shadow
that lurks over my heart
for 2 whole decades,
i cascade into a mess of chaos.

You would've saw it coming
if you paid even a little attention
you watch me sleepwalk
right off a balcony.

You keep me alive
my muse
the beauty i thank you for
the shaky room that rocks my core
the same way you did me
under the pure moonlight

I fall under your spell
with all my glee
a fly to a spider web

Live within me
your white spirit
my deep colors
painting our paradise in the room
of our tiny closet apartment

Bleed my gentle eyes
for the heaven i should not have seen
adam and eve
eating the forbidden apple
burning in a parasite of the brave

I try not to walk that path again
Our hands tangled
For you it meant as much as pebbles did to a river
I knew that
Still, I let myself sank.
And one day- i became stale in your eyes
On that day-I can no longer walk that path again.

I used to reach up,
and let the stars melt in my hands.
I felt the time slip away
but the night was too attractive to shut my eyes.
There are stories in the sky
mapped with pattern
the same stories people saw 5000 years ago
I reached up and melt with the stars
Now I can see the stars anytime, everywhere.
I close my eyes, and reach up.

I suppose she saw her fading youth
Like steam from a shower on the mirror
Slowly-little by little
But all at once covering your image
Time hasn’t touched her skin yet
But she could feel it in her eyes
When she gazed upon a young set
She saw the little enthusiasm she somehow lost
Laying slumped on her bedroom floor
She couldn’t even find tears
Empty pupils, unable to find her image again.

Yellow brick road
my little unknown redhead
you have traveled so far!
Are you not tired? Does your feet not ache?
But oh little redhead,
don't pause for anyone.
When your feet feel sore
when storms knock you down
you are
indeed
still
standing.

Just her sun bleached hair
dancing on the shoreline in the dark
her toes tapping against the cold ocean water
extra gentle now
her tan skin smelled like cotton candy
her eyes looked so inspired
Something made her smell the summer salt
she would want to remember this--this 17.
She will never feel this way again
the ocean calls to her
she hears, but knocked down by waves.

Shes like a sunflower!
He exclaimed
Then his eyes darkened
"wanna see me rot her roots?"

the bitter coffee taste consumes
yet another tired hallow shell
the morning light has no appeal
plain beauty ignored by heavy feet

its alright-
just survive.
There is no need to worry about living
there is no urgency in observing every beauty
Suriving is an art too.

You said you were made of the ocean
that salt water ran in your blood

thats why when we said goodbye
your lips tasted so salty.

I couldn't stop touching her
Lady Universe and her ever soft kisses like comets
The dance floor was so dark
and she shined so bright
She put her hand on my hair and said
you're beautiful baby girl
I could feel the beat on my floating feet
blood boiling
oh!
imagine if our lips touched I said
she laughed with a wicked flick of hair,
rivers and the earth spawned from just that
Lady Universe
she laughs at me.

I have used several poetry site
but the people here are still the kindest
thank you for being so nice

and for giving an amateur  
a small chance to breathe.

It has been a while since I've written
Picked up words that I couldn't find.
Sometimes, it feels as though I had dreamt for too long
and my body is well rested
but my soul is so tired.
Thank you for reading my poems
so that when I shout into a void
loving echos shout back at me.

He held his life into his hands
rewatching the memories of his life
he knew how to be happy once
and so he searched
in the mist of grey

underneath he found a flower
withering away in a dust of poison
gasp! that must be his happiness!
so he nurtured his weak pedals
till it is strong and grown

When Alan Barker look in the mirror
he not longer see a sorrowful man
with an easy slip of a finger he threw away the flower
it was not his happiness
he just needed to know something would live for him.

The first time I heard the Earth sang
I cried with all my rarest forms
The earth softly whispered the secrets of us
the past, the present, the future
I saw the history slipping from its melody
There were no more pleasant sound
The colors of the everything fall around me like rain
I tap on the shoulder of my mother
and she cried too.
The earth sings to the sad, tired and lonely,

I cannot explain it
but the way people chatter
makes me want to die

So I put on my noise muffling headphones
and then the world turned quiet
and my head is straight again

and my heart stopped pounding
and my hair sat flat on my arms again
peaceful, but I can't help but wonder


what is it like? the human experience?
to hear and laugh and shout
willingly and pleasantly?

i picked up a new book
to find myself writing along
tapping to the beat of someone else's life

if only i could travel to the far west
where the mystery lived
to sing the songs of ancestors passing

i woke up in my dark bedroom
my thirst satisfied, my soul refreshed
the joys of reading.

he sounded so annoyed
i thought that bitter tone could never come from his lips
but it did--a small reminder of my childhood

like that
i felt my skin flaking off
layer by layer
and i lay here bare
with no courage to stand again.

what did my therapist said?
not to be so sensitive?
the moon laughs tonight
at useless tears wasted again
me hurting my own poor heart.

I think of the calm sea
When i see your eyes
Because calm seas are a guise
The storm is only near by
So destructive, inconsiderate, and selfish!

You voice reminds me of a raging sea
The way your waves hit so hard
With no restraint, no regards.
The pressure that drowns even the strongest ear
The air bubbles that force themselves into your lungs

But your heart is a coral reef
The abundance of life, the determination
Vibrant colors fit only for paradise
Oh so addicting, that adrenaline rush
Such clarity that one stays mesmerized forever

So mesmerized
I sail through the calm seas, against the raging storm, to see it.

When the sun hits your hair
I see how it makes heads turn
like little rays of sunshine
dancing in your golden blonde hair
I sit at night
staring at the moon
and im not even the night sky
im your shadow
waiting to be picked second
because everyone wants the Sun

The pretty brunette stood fearfully
in front of the television
a large symbol as the crowd riotted
the Symbol of hatred burning right through her skin

Her child, with his tiny fingers
pointed at the unfamiliar symbol
his innocence lingering in a silk string
"what is that?"
He does not understand yet, the ignorance of this world.

She turned off the TV
and as any mother would
she hugged her child tightly
whispering under her breathe
"America."

32,400 minutes
I spent awkwardly behind a desk
stealing little glances at you.

540 hours
you never did notice me
but i know every curve of your face.

360 days
that's all i had
little glances, unfocused lessons, and that golden hair

2 souls
never colliding, frozen in small glances
one in an ignorant bliss; another drying her tears.

Today,
instead of washing down a cheeseburger with a donut
I ate something that made my body sing

Today,
instead of letting my hair get tangled again
I brushed it out

Today,
instead of wallowing in bed
I found the courage the get up and brush my teeth

my point is,
I am not ashamed of any of the things i do when i am depressed.
but i am proud of when i get better

My point is
i dont know when i will go back to being depressed again
and not brush my teeth, and lay in bed wallowing, and washing down fast food.

But i know a better day will come
however long
I did it once, i can do it again.

Today, i found a picture of you
I cried
you were holding me as a baby
my mother standing behind you
the only complete family photo ive ever been in
you look just like me
the crooked smile, flat nose, hooded eyes
I will never know you
But i dont need to
Ive never wished heaven was real more than this moment
if any chance it is and youre smiling down
I want you to konw
mom has never said an ill word about you
thank you for being my father for a brief moment
I'm doing fine
and oh
i will never complain about my nose again
Its not ugly at all
it looks like yours.

I apologize for my bluntness
The ruthlessness of my words
But i think you need to know

That you did not nurture me
The way you think you’re the savior
But slowly instead, you are the poison

You wish to save me from.

Be still, my glass bones
the ship will carry your soul full of sins
the times you shot down the albatross

Perhaps Life in Death will not torture you
perhaps she will lose her gambling
she will give you to death himself

Perhaps you will use the last bit of color
to leave a fade mark in the world
the potential you could have had

but you were always a gambler
when you win you feel so little
when you lose you leave no mark.

I just wanted the world to see me
but I dont, because even I can't see myself
I look into the crystal glass
and couldn't see a future
just bursted dreams and a wicked fortune teller
she tells me things so horrible
they can only be lies

and so I lie alone on the stone pedestal
my skin bronzing under the sun
my bones toughening up with rain

I just wanted the world to see

There was nothing significant about her
those words came so naturally to her mother
spoken so fast--like a sharp blade to her skin

Her skin turns a bright pink under the sun
he grunted in a distain that sliced through her fingers
her heart dry as dust, her mouth taste of gun powder

She did not find the blade unnatural to her skin
it felt like childhood, like lovers, like home.
it stings with such familiarity,

she was certain, this was right.

I shouldn't have to reduce myself
into a thin layer of nothing
lesser of me
to be considered worth a look
when I am drifting in the wind

I shouldn't have to rip my body apart
to please a fleeting pair of eyes on the street
when my clothes fall off my body
and my bones break in a crunch
For a number constructed by no one

It shouldn't be this way
but it is
but god I am trying. One bite at a time.