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She's looking down
She's looking down now.
With clean red hunger
She exhales wisdom
To find our sanity
In empty playgrounds;
Beyond our hands
Are filthy little thoughts.
That we hope can pass;
Right through our limbs.
It stains our shoes
With grass and
And expectations,
Yet.
She's looking down
She's looking down, again
As she tells us
How to fade away
And forget a simple ****
That made us both
Wild and empty.
fantasizing future breaches in this ever-taxing wall
with every thanks due to you, and your cordial way of moving my thoughts
towards you, and upwards into this exotic dream of
clever rhymes and reverie, of fluctuating feelings and wittiness
with the rest of the story remaining untold, prosperity or tragedy
don’t let this breach tear my walls down from the inside out

please.
.
be conceited

love yourself
love every single aspect of yourself
your thunder thighs, your braces
your back fat, the way your jaw clicks whenever you eat
something crunchy
your allergies, your stumpy fingers
the hair on your arms, and the way that you always click your
pen even when people ask you to stop
love yourself
love yourself until the day you die
and if anyone ever calls you conceited
you tell them

                                                    **** yes i am
                                                             why arent you?
 Apr 2014 Sad Beautiful Tragic
R
1 am
Woke up and looked at you to make sure you were still there. We couldn't sleep next to each other, so I had no idea if you would still be on the sofa next to mine, sleeping soundlessly in the dark of the living room.
2 am
I woke up again and looked over. You were now sleeping on your side to where I could see your face. Very little light from the crescent moon hit your face and highlighted all of my favorite parts of you--Your nose, your eyes, and your oh-so-kissable lips. I smiled and found sleep waiting for me again.
3 am
I look up and you are still breathing. I smile and fall into yet another dreamless oblivion.
4 am
I awaken to myself gasping for air, and clenching onto the covers tightly. I look up at the chandelier and take a moment before I look at you to make sure you are still okay. Just breathe.Right, now I can look I turned over and all I could see were your legs, which hung over the side of the sofa. Your soft porcelain legs looked quite cold. I took a moment to appreciate your soft legs before I pull your cover down a bit. You held on tightly and softly said, "Rach..." before I smiled and let go. I slowly put my head down again and fell asleep once more.
5 am
I remember waking up again, but this time I couldn't see your face, so I just feel asleep once more.
6 am
Woke up, but I decided not to check. I could hear your breaths instead, which is the only reason I was able to fall asleep.
7 am
I woke up, checked again, and feel asleep... again.
8 am
I awoke to the sound of my phone buzzing and my friend telling me she had to throw up again (poor girl, it's her birthday) and I looked over and saw you there. I looked for another minute, and then feel asleep one last time.
8:26 am
I awoke and it took me a moment to register why everyone was awake now. It is so early and I am so tired. I decided to look over at you, but you weren't there. I couldn't process that you weren't there in my mind, so instead I looked around frantically. They asked if I knew where you went? and I shook my head. They looked upstairs, in the bathroom, and even the bedroom we put all of our things in. Finally they found you lying on the extra bed with your phone in hand. I walked in and knelt down to kiss you on the head. You were awake and silent. I smiled, said I loved you and went back to the kitchen to start making breakfast.
8:40 am**
You came in the kitchen and smiled at me. Your hair was everywhere and your eyes looked tired. All I wanted right then was to swoop you up and kiss you passionately. But, sadly I did not. I kept stirring the pancake mix and pretended that none of this, nothing of you, make me completely and utterly insane inside.

The butterflies kept flapping and the fish inside of me kept swimming and every single part of me ached to have you next to me. I smiled as I made the pancakes and for some reason, I felt as if it were just the both of us there together. You sitting on the chair smiling at me and me pouring the mix into the pan. It felt like the perfect morning, even with all of my other friends here as well.
woke up every hour last night checking on her. honestly, I have no idea why, but I couldn't help it.
479

She dealt her pretty words like Blades—
How glittering they shone—
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone—

She never deemed—she hurt—
That—is not Steel’s Affair—
A ****** grimace in the Flesh—
How ill the Creatures bear—

To Ache is human—not polite—
The Film upon the eye
Mortality’s old Custom—
Just locking up—to Die.
 Apr 2014 Sad Beautiful Tragic
R
I let myself eat today
because she watched
my careful bites.
If she wouldn't have been
I probably would've just
stared down at my plate
feeling the twists and
twinges of pain inside
of my body as I
lick my lips.

I like this feeling because
I can control it
and nobody can shove food
down my mouth because
you wouldn't be able to tell
if I've eaten or not
and until I get to that point again
*I don't think I'll ever stop.
()    ()
:•:   <•>
&
~

Sounds like ****

-:/:-

Angry insistence on our RIGHT to be angry

( okay )

The RIGHT to ruthlessly retaliate (?)

COME LET'S WALK TOGETHER FOR AWHILE

••

hush /-: -/ wait

Until the children stop screaming

:-:

All the wisdom crumpled up
Thrown to the floor

/:/

The gentle simple humanity

( what's that -- ? )

COME WALK THE STARK NIGHT ON YOUR OWN

••

Little Joey Sweet Kiss
ain't here

Just the prostitutes and the pimps

And the johns and the pain

Yes the pain
The indescribable pain is here

(& you -- is that you there ?)

••

The pages -- torn pages
the monumentally vast pages

The pained poetical sensibilities

Torn and swirling
In the night winds eddies

Twisting grotesquely
In the alleyways

Where OUR children are sleeping

Wailing and weeping

WHO LEFT THEM THERE?

after the love and the lust and the games
That created them are too boring to be played

Out on THE STAGE anymore

••

and then of course

The years

Our Unfathomable sadness

Totally immune

To
Our rage and our fear
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