dear you,
hi.
you may be a stranger reading this random letter out of nowhere but to me you are a friend.
so, how is life hitting on you? i bet we’re on different edges of the boat but i’m pretty sure we’re both struggling to reach the end.
i know we’re both on that part where fear slowly creeps our heart acupuncturing all its veins until we both become numb of the pain.
or maybe it’s just me?
this time my friend, can you stay with me until the end? it may cost our lives but please just for a while, can we stop?
can we share this moment of silence, look at each other and let our eyes speak all our feelings buried within the hidden parts of our soul?
can we pretend like we’ve known each other for a long time now and let us talk to each other for a while?
let us please share this time we’ve got and believe that it’s just the two of us in this world,
- in this world we’re both trying to escape.
my friend, please let me borrow your precious time.
let us share this moment to scream to the world our grief because really, i cannot contain it anymore.
i have long been trying to be strong but it’s not enough
i have long been trying to be brave but it’s not enough
i have long been trying to be loved but it’s not enough
i have long been trying to give up but i can’t
i have long been shouting at myself to stop thinking and expecting but I can’t
i have long been wanting to stop
but I can’t.
my eyes were shedding tears for two days now and as much as i wanted to stop it, i can’t.
forgive me for being weak and coward for sharing this to you, dear.
forgive me.
but if it isn’t too much, when words aren’t enough for us to comfort each other, when silence is all there is, when the hands of the clock are now starting to move, can you please share your tears with me?
can we cry together?
can we shout to the mountains, to the seas, to the trees, to all the living things God created, our deepest pains?
can we throw them all the words we have long been wanting to say to the people who hurt us?
can we cry out loud, shout out loud, scream out loud until we feel our heart beats so fast because of all the ***** life had thrown upon us?
and when we’re tired of crying,
my friend,
when our knees cannot help us stand anymore,
when we can longer hear our voice..
let the gravity pulls us,
and together,
let’s look at the vastness of the sky, close our eyes and feel the last drop of tears in our face and whisper,
“**** this ****”
wrote this the day after my birthday where it is, so far, the worst birthday i have had.
//forgive me for sharing all this crap but this deserves a painful throwback, jsyk