reaping of pure white flesh.
innocent, ungrown.
lying through crooked teeth, grey hair.

bile rising.
utter disgust flowing through tense veins.
livid blood drips at a memory.

grief hums in my bones

folded under silent screams

pain stitched in my skin

i love you like a soft rainy day—
because you're here,
because you stay

i carry you like an old song,
i hum without meaning to—
not born of blood,
but stitched into me, just the same

i want you to be okay,
i want endless joyous memories—
i just want to laugh with you again
on some small, ordinary day

tongue tasting iron prayers.

maroon patches, like cowhide on cotton.

smearing grief, across closed lips.

a blue coal sky, littered with stars.

red blooming beneath skin.

like a childhood teddy, clutched too hard.

sweetness dripping from the chin.

in the end, im wailing in water.

i drink and feast on pretty things.

sun-kissed cheeks,
tangled wild hair,
pouncing, dashing
through tall, sticky grass

up rough, crumbling trees,
down ice-cold creeks,
ankles tickled by wriggling eels—
laughter loud, free, aimed at the sky

rolling down bumpy hills,
soft grass clinging to clothes,
a taste of wild fruit—
sweetness dripping from the chin

pure joy, carelessness,
freedom—
soul light as a breeze,
never a dull moment

i miss being a wild child

my old bandage
soft, frayed edges,
threadbare, worn thin
by restless hands, restless nights,

maroon patches
like cowhide on cotton,
each stain a quiet record
of battles no one saw

years of ache
woven into its threads,
dried blood stiff
like a childhood teddy
clutched too hard,

and still –
i rinse it gently,
silent and thinking,
afraid the water
will wash away
what held me together

breathing closed
heart tight, trembling
tears turned the world to glass,
edges sharp, light bent,
everything slipping

tearing through the dark,
sharp screams cutting through,
hands clawing for the blade,
no pause, no thought,
just ache, just hunger

a flash —
the cuts came swift,
red blooming beneath skin,
in smooth, soft lines,
then the fall,
the flow and the drip

fingers wet with sorrow,
tongue tasting iron prayers,
smearing grief
across closed lips,
quiet, feral

wrap the arm,
but still it seeps,
slow,
steady,
seeping, seeping,
until the breaking,
until the flood,

and i disappear beneath it.