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kohu 3d
.
low
        numb
                     lifeless
                              ­     unmoving
                                                      stuck


                -----        switch       -----


                                                high
                                    elation
                             joy
                   free
      ecstacy


                -----        switch       -----


     rage
                            scream
            ­                                                           cry
                                                 cut
­               hatred


                -----        switch       -----


                   jumbled
                            euphoria
                                      sorrow
                   ­                            passion
                                                         ­ fury
.
kohu 3d
i cant breathe
i cant feel
i cant love
i cant live

i touch pain

im in the earth
under the crust
beneath the mantle
swallowed by pressure

i crave pain

thorns in my head
tearing, searing,
thorns in my arms
scratching, slicing,
thorns in my heart
ripping, crushing

i deserve pain

i dont know how to
inhale

exhale

i am the pressure
i am the thorn
i am the plight

i am pain
my cycle, never ending
horror, present always
because
i am pain
i am pain
kohu Mar 31
external bleeding
rage on the body
kohu Mar 14
i wish i was dead
lying cold in my bed
silent, empty, alone
haunted by thoughts unknown

i need the pills, the herbs
to quiet the endless words
numb my body
lost in the ache that never curves

i long to sink down
where darkness wraps me 'round
i want to feel broken
my voice left unspoken

i want to be better
but i never let her
stuck in this skin
clawing for strength within
numb, i see—
no drive to be free
kohu Mar 7
im livid, writhing with rage
my head is jumbled and aching
no pills, no sleep—i am devoured

because i give and give and give
and they take and rip and shred

rip the flesh, rip the bone
take the arteries
from my heart
steal my blood, flee away

im drowning, im burning
my head is slipping, fracturing
hands clawing at my throat

water like fire takes my air
i can’t breathe, i can’t rest
and my lungs burn
before they’re taken too

my limbs contort, twist, then crack
i try to carve my way out
but im buried deep
tendrils coiled, unbreaking

raging, writhing, war in my head
i feel the lumps press against my skull
i crave to dig them out
my hands grip my hair
nails sinking in

but i fail
sinking deeper, heavy limbs
lungs rupture, body thrashes
the current pulls, the dark consumes
in the end
im wailing in water
a vent because i ******* hate the world and want to rip my body apart
kohu Feb 28
i wish i was pretty,
like the tip of a fang,
like a drop of blood,
like a beautifully adorned room,
like the smell of an old book,
like the patter of rain

i like pretty things—
like the eye of a storm,
like lightning followed by thunder,
like the moon as it wanes,
as if darkness were eating it

the night likes pretty things too,
a blue coal sky, littered with stars.
they eat away at pretty things,
covering them in a devouring shadow,
making you lost in its eye

i am the night, the shadow,
i drink and feast on pretty things,
so i eat you too.
kohu Feb 28
my blue veins pulse, life
throbbing, aching, red spilling
i crave, the cutting
a haiku
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